Trust Is A Flexible Word
by DiDiGlee
Summary: One year after their break up Blaine finally moves to New York. His hopes of a reunion crush when he finds out that Kurt has a new perfect boyfriend - until he discovers that Kurt is caught in an abusive relationship. Blaine's POV, in later chapters also Kurt's POV, vulnerable!Kurt, NOT canon!Kurt, Please read Trigger Warnings inside!
1. Chapter 1

**Trust Is A Flexible Word**

**Summary: **One year after their break up Blaine finally moves to New York and gets in touch with Kurt. His hopes of a reunion crush when he finds out that Kurt has a new perfect boyfriend until he discovers that Kurt is caught in an abusive relationship.

**Blaine's POV, in later chapters also Kurt's POV**

**vulnerable!Kurt, NOT canon!Kurt**

This fic is only canon up to episode 04x06 "Glease". (This means that the phone call in Thanksgiving and everything in the Christmas episode did NOT happen.)

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**Author's Note:** Hey everyone, so The Break Up episode has stirred up a lot of fanfiction and I've seen some ideas about how Blaine ends up in an abusive relationship with Eli, because he thinks he deserves it for cheating on Kurt. I have been struck by another idea which I'm presenting to you now. This story is about how Kurt is messed up by their break up and ends up in an abusive relationship in New York.

**WARNING:** This is NOT canon!Kurt, because I don't think Kurt would fall apart and act like he does in this story. If you don't like vulnerable!Kurt then please don't read.

**TRIGGER WARNING (for later chapters):** physical abuse, violence, self-harm, alcohol misuse

**Just to clarify:** This is NOT a fic about what is to expect in the next Glee episode (04x11). This is NOT about Kurt and the new character on the show, Adam.

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**To all my faithful and amazing readers** of my other fics NO REGRETS and MAN IN THE MIRROR: I will NOT abandon those stories. I'm already working on updates, so please stay tuned. :) I love you all!

**A VERY BIG THANK YOU to **_**HarmonyLover**_** for helping me with this story! Everyone, please make sure to check out her story "Have A Little Faith" which is about fixing Klaine's relationship before the Break Up happens. I love it! She's a true talent with words. :)**

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******Trust Is A Flexible Word**

**Chapter 1**

"BLAINE! I'M HERE!"

Blaine heard his name and instantly turned in the direction of the high-pitched yell.

"BLAINE WARBLER! OVER HERE!"

A small brunette figure came running towards him, crossing the street (almost getting hit by a yellow cab) with her arms extended and a big happy grin on her face.

Blaine opened his arms to catch her and whirl her around in order to compensate for her bounce.

"Blaine! I can't believe it! You're really here! It's so great to see you! Welcome to New York!" Rachel almost drowned him in a flood of words as she hugged him exuberantly.

"Thank you, Rachel, it's good to see you, too!" Blaine smiled fondly at her, happy about this affectionate reception which he felt he didn't deserve at all.

For a moment they just smiled at each other while all the words unsaid whirled around in both of their heads. Almost one year had passed in which they had hardly kept in touch. Only when Blaine had received his acceptance letter and knew he'd come to live in New York he'd contacted her again, and he hadn't expected such a warm welcome.

"Anyway," Rachel linked arms with him to drag him along. "There's this cozy little coffee shop I need to take you! Gosh, we've got so much to talk about! I can't believe you're finally here! It feels like ages!"

"Yeah, that's true," Blaine bit down on his lips. He'd missed her. Everything about her including her craziness and overwhelming personality. Only now that he saw her again did he realize how much he'd missed talking to her, and the realization made him want to cry. If he hadn't screwed up things would be way different now.

"Thanks for meeting me," he said as he walked beside her, not really seeing the city, his eyes just grazing the pavement in front of his feet and Rachel's small hand clinging to his arm. "I've only been here for a week and already I feel overwhelmed by all of this. I mean, wow, New York!" He extended his free arm to capture the vastness of the city.

Rachel grinned up to him. "I know what you mean," she assured him. "I was overwhelmed by it, too. But don't worry, I'll show you around! Soon you'll feel at home!"

She pulled him into a small coffee shop, placing her jacket on a free stool at the window to save the seat and then went up to the counter to order their coffees. "A medium drip for you, Blaine Warbler?" she asked him with a happy sparkle in her eyes.

Blaine raised his eyebrows. "You know my coffee order?"

"Some things never change, do they?" she replied, and another sad smile grazed her features. She'd grown beautiful, Blaine noticed. She'd always been pretty, but he couldn't help seeing how much she'd bloomed living in New York.

They took their places at the window and just smiled at each other for a while, both still too excited about seeing one another and not knowing where to start. Blaine had been afraid she'd refuse to see him; after all she was still best friends with Kurt. Yet here she was, with open arms and a warm tender smile making Blaine feel welcome.

They talked about NYADA and Juilliard for a while until it became obvious that they were just tiptoeing around the really important questions.

"How's Kurt?" Blaine finally found the courage to ask, and there it was again, the sad and wistful smile on her lips and her eyes getting watery for no apparant reason other than regret that this mess had become their shared reality.

"Great," she answered with a little one-sided shrug. "Yeah, he's great. Well, considering the circumstances."

Blaine frowned. "What circumstances?"

"Well," Rachel flipped a strand of hair back over her shoulder. "For one there's the fact that he stopped applying for NYADA. I told him he should keep trying but after two rejections he's just given up on it."

Blaine's spirits dropped at hearing this news. Kurt had given up on NYADA?

"But well, on the bright side he loves working for Vogue and he's superbusy there, he's a true workaholic!" She laughed, but she didn't sound very convincing.

"Also he's got a new boyfriend," she added with a thin smile, causing Blaine's heart to skip a beat.

"Actually I encouraged him to finally start dating again," she confessed to Blaine. "He was in a terrible funk for months after your break up. He wouldn't even think of seeing anyone else, so I'm really happy for him now."

Blaine cleared his throat and looked down at his cup.

"I'm glad to hear that he's happy," he managed to say and he meant it, even though it hurt. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but part of his reasoning to come to New York has been the hope that he would get back together with Kurt somehow, even though they hadn't spoken in almost a year.

"Yes, Kurt's very happy," Rachel confirmed a little bit too eagerly while her nails were tapping the table restlessly. "His new boyfriend's like a dream come true! His name's Andrew, he's some sort of advertising executive, apparently very successful."

Andrew. Blaine instantly disliked that name.

"Also he's funny and charming," Rachel continued her list of Kurt's new boyfriend's attributes. "I can't say a bad word about him."

"Sounds like he's a real catch," Blaine said, trying to keep his jealousy out of his voice.

"Oh yeah, he's too good to be true! From what I hear he's _amazing_ in _all kind of ways_!" She raised her eyebrows suggestively but then seemed to remember whom she was talking to. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Blaine slowly twirled his coffee in his hands and watched his friend closely. Despite her enthusiastic speech Rachel didn't seem too be truly happy about Kurt's new boyfriend.

"You don't like him?" It was more a statement than a question.

Rachel looked up in surprise, feeling caught. "It's not that I don't like him," she explained cautiously. "It's just... the way Kurt has changed since he's with Andrew..."

Blaine frowned again. "Changed how?"

Rachel sighed a bit overdramatically. "Starting with the fact that he doesn't have time to see me anymore. I have the feeling he's withdrawing from me on purpose and it's gotten even worse since he moved in with Andrew."

"He moved in with this guy?" Blaine asked, totally taken aback. Kurt was _living_ with some guy. Jealousy shot like fire through his veins. He'd always dreamed about living together with Kurt.

"When... why... how?"

"Three weeks ago," Rachel told him. "Andrew asked him to move in with him, just like that. I begged Kurt to stay with me because I don't want to look for another roommate, but he said he wanted to give it a try. What can I say? After all, it was my idea. I mean, I convinced Kurt to start dating again, so now I can't complain, can I?"

It was clear to Blaine that Rachel was heartbroken because she hardly got to see Kurt anymore. Apparently between work hours and now living with Andrew he didn't have much freetime to see her.

"Do you think he would agree to see me?" Blaine asked. "I would love to see him and try to be friends again."

"I can ask him if you want me to," Rachel offered.

Blaine gave her a nod. "Yes, please."

* * *

Two days later Blaine sat on his bed in his dorm room alone, trying to work on an essay and thanking the Heavens that his annoying roommate was out.

His phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and froze immediately when he saw that it was Kurt. A million thoughts ran through his head and he was scared but also excited about this call.

"Hello?" he answered tentatively.

"Hi," Kurt's voice rang into his ear. He sounded cheerful and a little bit exuberant. "I hear from Rachel that you're in town. I thought I should give you a call and say welcome to New York."

"Thanks," Blaine said, still shocked by the unexpected call. He hadn't talked to Kurt since... since forever. Hearing his voice made him shiver.

"So you're at Juilliard? That's great."

"Yeah, it is," Blaine acknowledged and wanted to slap himself because he didn't know anything else to say to Kurt.

"Okay, that's great," Kurt repeated. "Listen, I gotta go. I just wanted to say hello and that it's really great to have you in town. Bye!"

"Kurt, wait!" Blaine closed his eyes and clung to his phone. He took a deep breath and prayed for courage. "How about we go out for a coffee someday?"

"Uh, yes, of course," Kurt replied, but he sounded wary. "It's just that I'm extremely busy with work."

"How about lunch break tomorrow?" Blaine asked, trying to sound casual, although his heart was thumping hard in his chest about the possibility to see Kurt the next day.

"I don't do lunch breaks," Kurt replied.

Blaine stayed silent. This was an obvious rejection. Kurt didn't really want to see him. This call was no more than a polite gesture.

"I understand," Blaine said.

"But sometimes I go and get a coffee at that place that Rachel took you the other day," Kurt said slowly. "Perhaps we could meet there? Tomorrow afternoon about four o'clock?"

"Yeah, sounds great!" Blaine hurried to say.

"But I can't make any promises," Kurt said. "I don't know how crazy work's gonna be tomorrow so don't be offended if I don't show up."

"That's okay," Blaine assured him. "I'm gonna go for a coffee anyway. It would be nice to see you there."

"Okay, then see you tomorrow. Maybe."

"See you." Blaine hung up and lay back on his mattress, his eyes brimming with tears.

He had missed hearing Kurt's voice so badly.

"Thank you for calling me, Kurt," he whispered into the silence, clutching the phone to his heart.

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**Author's Note: **

Thanks for reading!

I'm trying not to turn this into a neverending story like it happened with my other stories. This story is supposed to be short and hurtful. I hope I can keep it short. No promises. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Please remember:** This fic is canon up to episode 04x06 "Glease". (This means that the phone call in Thanksgiving and everything in the Christmas episode did NOT happen.)

**WARNING:** This is NOT _canon!Kurt_ because I don't think Kurt would act like he does in my story. If you don't like _vulnerable!Kurt_ then don't read.

**TRIGGER WARNING:** (in later chapters) violence, physical abuse, self-harm

As usual I'm being overcautious with my rating and warnings. Those of you who already know my other stories should know that I'm not really writing hard and graphical stuff. :)

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**Trust Is A Flexible Word**

**Chapter 2**

Blaine was sitting in the coffee shop, sipping his almost cold coffee and switched from staring at his watch to staring out of the window to scan the faces of the passerbys.

He'd arrived at half past three in case Kurt came in early. But now it was almost half past four, and Blaine had given up hope that Kurt would still show up at all. He wasn't mad at Kurt. He was just incredibly sad.

He didn't even know what he had expected. Had he really hoped for Kurt to walk in and immediately fall in love with him all over again? Yeah, right.

Blaine knew that he had screwed up; he just finally wanted a chance to make it up to Kurt. Even if Kurt would never forgive him and take him back as a lover Blaine was hoping for a spot as a friend. He'd missed Kurt in his life over the past year, and now that he was in New York he didn't want to pass up the chance to get back in touch with Kurt.

With a final sigh he was just about to get up and leave the shop when the door opened and a new customer stepped in. Blaine sank right back into his seat at the sight of his ex-boyfriend.

Kurt looked gorgeous. He'd always been beautiful but now he looked stunning. His hair was elaborately coiffed, a testimony of styling devotion, and full of so much product that it easily braved the strong wind blowing around the high buildings in the streets of New York. His cheeks were blushed from the run and his eyes wide as he looked around the shop.

A smile appeared on his lips when he finally spotted Blaine at the table at the window.

Kurt crossed the shop in swift strides, his eyes never leaving Blaine, making Blaine feel extremely self-conscious all of a sudden. He couldn't help but reach up and make sure his gelled hair was still neat and in order.

"Hi," Kurt greeted cheerfully as he sat down opposite him, as if they'd met up right in this spot every day.

As if it hadn't been almost a year since they last saw each other.

"I'm sorry, did you wait long?" Kurt said, checking his watch. "I couldn't get out earlier. The office's a mess right now!" Kurt rolled his eyes and placed his jacket on the free chair next to his. He was wearing a blue turtleneck, bringing out the color of his eyes perfectly.

"I think I'll have an espresso. I need something strong," Kurt went right on and got up to place his order at the counter. Blaine hadn't said a word so far; he just watched his ex-boyfriend and resisted the urge to hug him and kiss him and thank him for being so awesome, for acting like everything was normal when it was not.

However, Blaine knew he couldn't play along to this charade. He couldn't act like the past year hadn't happened. He couldn't act as if they were just former schoolmates who happened to live in the same town now.

Kurt came back with his cup of espresso and a big chocolate cookie. "I was hoping you'd split this one with me?" He broke the cookie into two halves and pushed one half on a napkin over the table towards Blaine.

"Thank you," Blaine said, clearing his voice. It was hard to think of something coherent to say when the only words tumbling around in his head were, _I love you, please take me back, I want to be with you again, please, why won't you forgive me?_

"So how do you like New York so far?" Kurt asked, looking at him.

Blaine tried to tame his heart, which was going wild in his chest, and managed a smile. "It's quite overwhelming. Everything's so big and loud."

Kurt nodded and chewed on his cookie. "Soon you're gonna love it," he promised.

"Yeah, Rachel tells me the same," Blaine said. He twisted the lid off of his cup and dipped his half of the cookie into his almost cold coffee.

"You should stick with Rachel," Kurt advised him. "She knows all the places and all the parties to go to. I'm sure she can already introduce you to some Broadway celebrities. She's a star at NYADA and I hear she also has some admirers from Juilliard."

"What about you?" Blaine asked. "I thought Vogue was only temporary for you."

"Yeah, well, Broadway's not for me," Kurt shook his head. "It was just a childish dream. I gotta be more realistic. Fashion is my world now."

Blaine was baffled by this dry statement. "So you've really given up on your dream?" he asked incredulously. "But, Kurt, you're amazingly talented! I always loved to hear you sing and watch you perform."

"That was high school, Blaine." Kurt raised a critical brow at him. "Life's not a big dream come true for everyone."

They were silent for a while, both stirring their coffees and munching the cookie.

Blaine cleared his throat, readying himself for another big topic.

"Rachel tells me you're seeing someone."

"Uh, yes," Kurt answered after just a second of hesitation. "His name's Andrew. He's a real Prince Charming, always holding the door for me, telling me I am beautiful at least ten times a day, you know, stuff like that."

Kurt shrugged like it was no big deal.

"I'm happy for you," Blaine said, meaning it but with an aching heart because he still wanted to be the one who made Kurt happy. The weird thing was that Kurt didn't really seem to be happy; at least the glow in his eyes was missing. Blaine thought that this was probably because his presence was stirring up bad memories.

"So how long have you been seeing him?" Blaine couldn't help asking, although he already knew the answer from Rachel.

"For almost three months now." Kurt raised his coffee to his lips. "What about you? Are you seeing someone?"

Blaine shook his head. "No, not since..." Blaine cleared his throat again. "No, I haven't been with anyone since."

Kurt didn't say a word of acknowledgment. He only stared out of the window as if interested in watching the people passing by.

"So this Andrew," Blaine picked up their conversation and didn't even know why he was torturing himself with this. "I hear he's a dream come true in _all kind of ways._"

He knew he shouldn't have said it like this, in such a suggestive tone. In fact he was only echoing Rachel because her words still stung. However, he realized his mistake when Kurt turned to stare at him wide-eyed.

"What are you saying?" Kurt demanded.

"I... uhm..." Blaine stuttered, knowing that he had overstepped and possibly blown his chances already by talking like this to Kurt.

"I just told you that I'm dating Andrew for _three_ months and you think I already _slept_ with him?" Kurt hissed at him over the table, keeping his voice low as not to draw attention to them.

Blaine was taken aback by Kurt's obvious mortification.

"I only assumed... I mean... Rachel told me that you already moved in with him!" Blaine argued to his defense.

"I'm not the slut at this table!" Kurt shot at him and his words struck home.

Blaine's face faltered.

There it was, all the hurt and anger and disappointment, fresh and alive as if it had only been yesterday. All of their unresolved and deeply buried problems came bubbling up on the surface as if they'd never drowned.

Blaine nodded slowly; it was a nod of sorrow and a plea for forgiveness. _You're right, I'm the one who cheated, I'm the one who broke everything we used to have into pieces._

Yes, perhaps he deserved this. Still, it hurt.

"I'm sorry," Kurt instantly reached out and took Blaine's hand on the table, his harsh voice now turned soft and apologetic. "I didn't mean to say that, Blaine. Really, I'm sorry."

Blaine stared down at Kurt's hand on his. Without this gesture Blaine might have bolted. But there it was, Kurt's hand squeezing his own in reassurance like so many times before, back in another lifetime. Blaine wanted to stay sitting at this table forever with the touch of Kurt's hand on his. He wanted Kurt to scream at him, call him names, anything but the silence of the past year.

"I'm just upset that you think I'd go and have sexual relations with someone I hardly know," Kurt went on, removing his hand from Blaine's.

Blaine bit down on his lips, still digesting the insult and the quick but sincere apology. "Why do you live with him if you admit yourself that you don't even know him that well?"

"I moved in with him to save money," Kurt replied matter-of-factly. "Also, his apartment is closer to my workplace so I'm saving a lot of time, too. I'm sorry for Rachel to have to find a new roommate, but I had to think practical. Besides, I don't think why I'm doing things is any of your business."

"Sorry, it just seems odd, that's all," Blaine tried to mend. "But I'm glad that you didn't have... I mean... I'm just glad that he didn't try anything with you..." Blaine let his voice trail off awkwardly. This didn't come out right at all. "I mean, I'm relieved that you're not making it easy for him..." Blaine flinched at his own words and wanted to cut off his tongue. "You know, you shouldn't throw yourself at him... or anyone..."

"What I'm doing or _not doing_ with Andrew or _anyone_ is really none of your business," Kurt interrupted with a stern look on his face.

"Of course not," Blaine stammered. "I was just saying that..."

"This was a bad idea," Kurt said, rising from his chair and gathering his things. "I don't think we should meet again."

"No, Kurt, wait!" Blaine pleaded. "Please, stay. Just a minute longer."

Slowly, very slowly Kurt sat back down, his face a mask of stone.

"Kurt, we've been best friends... and lovers," Blaine said, almost choking on his own words. "I _miss_ you."

Blaine swallowed hard. He tried to read Kurt's mind but his ex refused to meet his eye, keeping his pokerface straight.

"Please give me the chance to get to know you again, to be friends with you again."

Kurt didn't reply with anything, but he didn't walk away either.

For a long moment they both just sat there in silent regret, holding on to their coffee cups.

Finally, Blaine caught Kurt's gaze and held it. They have always been good at communicating without words. The look in Kurt's eyes told him that things could never be the same again – but yet there was a glimmer of something else. Was it the wish that they could be _something_ again? Blaine held on to that hope and tried to tell Kurt that he was wishing for the same.

There had to be the chance of _anything_ because why else had Kurt called him last night? Why had he agreed to meet him? Blaine hoped that all of this meant that at least a part of Kurt wanted them to be something again, friends at the very least.

"Isn't it too warm to wear turtlenecks?" Blaine asked after the silence got too loud.

Kurt's hand flew up to rub the blue fabric covering his neck. "You know how it is with budding love," Kurt waved him off with an embarrassed smile. Immediately Blaine remembered all the hickeys he'd left on Kurt's delicious neck a long time ago. It stung to know that someone else was kissing him now.

Kurt's phone rang.

It lay on the table and Kurt was eyeing it with a frown; he didn't seem too happy about the caller. Probably work. For a second Blaine thought he wasn't going to answer the call. But then Kurt bit down on his lips, took his phone and put on a fake smile.

"Hi Drewsy."

Drewsy. Blaine cringed at that petname. He could hear the loud voice of Kurt's boyfriend coming from the phone and was surprised by its sharpness.

"_What took you so long to answer?"_

"I told you I'm still at work," Kurt answered in a low voice. "I'm in a meeting. I'll call you as soon as I'm leaving the building."

Blaine frowned. He'd never experienced Kurt lying before. Especially not to his boyfriend.

"_Hurry up! I've changed plans for tonight."_

"You changed plans? You know I hate when you do that."

"_Just trust me. Love you, babe!"_

"Love you, too," Kurt cooed, but it sounded off. He ended the call and put his phone back on the table.

Blaine inclined his head questioningly. "You told him you were still at work?"

Kurt sighed. "He doesn't know I'm meeting you."

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"Because he'd freak out if he knew I was meeting my ex." Kurt stated this as if it was obvious. "He's very possessive."

Blaine narrowed his eyebrows. "He should trust you."

"Yeah, well, trust is a flexible word these days," Kurt replied drily with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Instantly Blaine felt guilty. It was a low blow, but Blaine knew he deserved it. He just hated the thought that Kurt didn't trust anyone anymore because of his stupid mistake.

"Do you love him?" Blaine regretted the question as soon as it had left his mouth. Still he anticipated and dreaded the answer.

It took Kurt a moment to reply.

"Love isn't what it used to be either."

His voice was tired and disillusioned.

Blaine hated to see Kurt like this.

"I'm sorry," he said in a hushed voice, leaning towards Kurt to make sure he heard how much he meant his words. "I'm so sorry that I destroyed what we had."

Kurt put on a forgiving smile. "High school love is doomed to break apart. Right from the start it was no more than a sweet, sweet fantasy."

"No, it wasn't," Blaine countered with a determined forcefulness in his voice to underline his words. "It was real, Kurt. It still is for me."

Kurt frowned and glanced at him with pitying eyes. "You didn't come to New York for me, did you? Because that would have been a mistake."

"I just want us to be friends again, Kurt. Close friends."

A smile curled up Kurt's lips. "You haven't changed a bit, Blaine Warbler."

For a moment Blaine lost himself in Kurt's eyes and everything between them felt like it used to be. Blaine felt his heart overflowing with the pent-up love for Kurt, and he knew that Kurt could see it, too.

Then, as if someone had blocked out the sun, a shadow covered Kurt's face. "I gotta go."

In a reflex action Blaine reached out and clutched Kurt's arm to keep him from disappearing.

"Ouch!"

Blaine was startled to see Kurt wince at his touch. "What is it?" Blaine asked with concern because he hadn't gripped Kurt's arm that hard.

"Nothing, I just… I ran into a door today and my arm still hurts. Stupid me." Kurt rolled his eyes with a little chuckle.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay."

"When will I see you again?" Blaine didn't mean to sound so needy, but he just couldn't control his voice.

Kurt hesitated but then his eyes mellowed. "I'll give you a call."

From the tone of his ex' voice Blaine knew this wasn't a lie.

He watched Kurt leave the shop.

Kurt didn't look back once.

Blaine took a moment to allow himself to feel relieved. Kurt hadn't slept with this guy. Yet. Not that it mattered if he had. But it gave Blaine hope.

_Kurt doesn't love that guy, Kurt doesn't love him, he doesn't love this stupid Andrew guy. _

Blaine repeated the words over and over in his head, giddy with hope and joy. He knew he shouldn't be so happy about this. He should wish for Kurt to love again. He did. Only he hoped that he would be the lucky guy Kurt would fall in love with again.

A second chance. That's all he was asking for.

Still, Kurt's words echoed in his head all day long.

_Trust is a __flexible__ word these days._

_Love isn't what it used to be either._

* * *

It was past midnight of the same day, and Blaine was already lying in his bed when his phone rang.

"Turn that shit off," his grumpy roommate complained from the other side of the dark room.

Blaine turned to pick up his phone from his nightstand, wondering who on earth would be calling him this late.

It was Kurt.

Blaine's heart skipped a beat. He hadn't expected Kurt to call this soon. This could be a bad sign.

"Hi," Blaine answered the call in a hushed voice so as not to disturb his roommate.

"Hi," Kurt said. "Sorry for calling this late."

"It's alright," Blaine assured him, his heart thumping in his chest, dreading the reason for this call.

"I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, I couldn't sleep anyway," Blaine replied honestly.

"Me, neither," Kurt replied, sounding sad and tired.

"I WAS ASLEEP, JACKASS!" Blaine's roommate called over and demonstrated his displeasure by covering his head with a pillow. Blaine didn't pay him any attention.

"So, what's up?" Blaine cringed at his own stupid words. _What's up?_ He almost sounded like Finn.

"I just wanted to apologize again," Kurt said in a low voice, almost inaudible.

"Apologize?" Blaine repeated, not sure he'd understood. "For what?"

"You know," Kurt murmured. "For what I called you today. You know that I didn't mean it, right? I was just afraid that you'd think of me that way."

Blaine lay back on his pillow, a hand on his chest. "I'd never think of you that way, Kurt," he assured him. "I'm sorry for implying you'd already slept with him. I know it's none of my business and I'm truly sorry."

"Listen," Kurt continued in a hushed voice. "It's really hard for me, okay, seeing you again. Give me some more time, alright? I wish it was that easy being friends again but it's not."

Blaine swallowed hard. "I understand."

"No, you don't," Kurt said, sounding tired. "I'm not even sure I understand it myself. It's all so complicated, and I think someday we should talk but not anytime soon, please. I don't feel like I could talk about everything just yet."

Blaine nodded slowly to himself and wiped a hand over his eyes to stay composed. "Just tell me one thing, Kurt, please."

"What?" Kurt's voice sounded wary.

"Do you miss me at all?"

Kurt let out a little chuckle. "As if you don't know the answer to that," he said with a sigh.

"_BABE?" _

Blaine heard a male voice calling from behind Kurt.

"_Who's on the phone?"_

"It's Rachel," Kurt answered in his normal voice, covering the phone with his hand.

"_Tell her to go to sleep and then come back to bed," _the voice – apparently belonging to Kurt's boyfriend Andrew – told him. _"Some of us have to get up early, Jesus!"_

"I didn't mean to wake you," Kurt said.

"_You think I don't notice when you slip out of bed?"_ the voice was nearer now. Blaine supposed that Andrew was standing right next to Kurt now. _"I miss your warmth, baby."_

"Just give me a minute."

"_She alright?" _

"Yeah, she is."

"_Then hang up," _Kurt's boyfriend said and shouted into the phone. _"Goodnight, Rachel!"_

"I gotta go," Kurt spoke into his phone again. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Blaine answered in a whisper before Kurt turned off his phone.

"GOODNIGHT DAMMIT!" his roommate yelled, muffled from under his covers.

Blaine couldn't find sleep after that phone call. His mind was occupied with images of Kurt slipping back into bed with this guy. Blaine wondered what Andrew looked like, what he was like and how he had managed to make Kurt fall for him.

Even if it wasn't love it had to be _something_. Something that Kurt found attractive.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! **

**And thank you for all the favorites and follows and your reviews! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you everyone for your favorites and follows and reviews! :) Thanks for all your support. Your feedback is much appreciated. :)**

**Please remember the trigger warnings for this story. For now the chapters are quite harmless, I'll let you know when the difficult chapters start. **

_**HarmonyLover**_**: Thank you again for helping me with this story. I hope you like the little changes I did in this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"I'm gonna see Kurt tonight," Rachel mentioned on their coffee break. They had kind of started this ritual of seeing each other for their morning coffee at the cozy shop Rachel had taken him to the first time, since it was half way between both of their colleges.

"Take me with you," Blaine pleaded immediately. "Please, I need an excuse to be there."

A week had passed since Blaine had met Kurt at the coffee shop and talked to him in the middle of the night. Kurt hadn't called him again since, and Blaine was afraid that the more time passed by Kurt would simply forget about him.

"I _need_ to see Kurt again, Rachel," Blaine stressed, "and I want to get a look at this Andrew guy."

"To check out the competish?" Rachel grinned. "Alright, it's a karaoke bar, so I'll say I brought you, because you and I are singing a duet. Kurt knows I could never resist singing with you."

"It's a plan. Thanks, Rachel."

"I intend to be _really_ singing a duet with you," Rachel pointed out insistently, poking her finger into his chest. "So you better rest your voice until tonight."

Blaine nodded along, his mind already skimming his closet in order what to wear since he would be meeting Kurt. Thinking about his closet in the dormitory reminded him of something he wanted to ask Rachel.

"Did you find a new roommate yet?"

"No, I haven't really been looking for someone yet," Rachel replied with a sigh. "I'm still hoping for Kurt to come back. It's not that I wish that he'd break up with Andrew, I just don't want to rent the place to someone else and then have to shut the door in front of Kurt if he decides to come back."

Blaine smiled. "That's really nice of you, Rachel."

She shrugged. "My dads have paid the rent for the next two months, so I'm good for now. But after that I'd have to look for someone else."

"How about me?" Blaine asked as if the idea just struck him when actually he'd been thinking about it for a while.

"You?" Rachel's eyes got big at the idea.

"Yeah, it would be fun, wouldn't it? I don't like living in the dorms. My roommate drives me nuts. And, you know, if Kurt wants to come back I can move out again anytime. I don't mind."

"Actually that's a great idea," Rachel said, her finger tapping her chin, still contemplating. "How about I come back to you about that idea? I don't want to make that decision over Kurt's head. I mean, he's still my best friend and I just want to make sure he doesn't feel left out if he finds out that I decided to live with you."

Blaine sighed. "I understand."

* * *

Needless to say that Blaine was nervous about meeting Kurt again. He was glad that Rachel was with him this time.

"Here we are," Rachel chirped as they entered the karaoke bar. It was not the same place where he had sung _Teenage_ _Dream_ almost a year ago, but it was a cozy Irish pub with lots of separées and dark corners.

"You're gonna love this place," she told him and he followed her inside, looking around nervously.

"Let's see if Kurt's already here." Rachel walked through the bar, past the karaoke stage and then startled Blaine by waving excitedly towards a table.

Blaine felt his hands getting sweaty at the sight of Kurt sitting on a barstool at a high table, smiling sweetly at Rachel and embracing her.

Blaine didn't know how to greet Kurt. He wanted to hug him, but they hadn't hugged in the coffee shop the other day either. Also, Kurt's boyfriend was with him, so Blaine didn't know what to do and settled for a little wave of his hand and a smile hello.

Andrew was tall and slender, reminding Blaine a little bit of Finn but with dark hair and a prominent chin. His eyes were green and kind of intimidating. He looked like the kind of guy who knew what he wanted and would always get it. Blaine had learned from Rachel that Andrew was already twenty-two and prided himself in owning a fancy place in the middle of Manhattan.

Blaine watched as Rachel hugged The Boyfriend and then settled on a stool.

"This is Blaine," Rachel introduced him to Andrew. "He just moved to New York. Blaine, this is Andrew."

"Blaine?" Andrew nodded in acknowledgement with a sideways glance at Kurt. "As in the _cheating bastard_ Blaine?"

"Drew," Kurt said in a warning tone.

Blaine felt uncomfortable by the way Andrew sized him up now with clear disgust on his face as if Blaine was some sort of insect.

"Is he or is he not your ex-boyfriend who cheated on you?" Andrew asked Kurt now as if only to get the facts straight.

"Drew!" Kurt tilted his head and glared at his boyfriend, silently telling him to shut up.

"I am," Blaine said matter-of-factly, clearing his throat. There was no denying it and he wouldn't sweep it under the carpet. "I am the very one."

Yes, he was the ex who had cheated in a weak moment, but he was also the ex who regretted his actions more than anything.

Andrew looked at him baffled and with obvious respect for his brutal honesty. "Nice to meet you."

Blaine held the man's gaze and his voice was indifferent when he replied, "Likewise."

"Glad you could make it, Rachel," Kurt said to break the tension at the table, but his eyes were on his ex with a warm smile that told Blaine that he was welcome.

Blaine relaxed and returned the smile.

"You know that I wouldn't miss an opportunity to get you to sing!" Rachel said excitedly. "So, come on, please! Let's choose a song to sing together!" Rachel begged, pulling on Kurt's hand.

"You know I'm not singing anymore," Kurt refused, smiling at her useless attempt.

"What do you mean, you don't sing anymore?" Blaine repeated in confusion. "Like, not at all? Why not?"

Kurt shrugged. "I just don't." His voice was weak, apparently tired of having to talk about this with Rachel everytime they met and not wanting to dig into the matter deeper with Blaine.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Argh, you're driving me insane with this attitude!" she called out. "But, ah well, I brought my very own duet partner along, didn't I? Blaine, may I have the pleasure of sharing a mike with you?"

Blaine bowed to her playfully. "It would be an honor to sing with you."

Rachel linked arms with him and directed him to the stage where a very low-pitched and very drunk guy had just ended his rather dirty performance of "Fever".

"Do you have anything particular in mind?" Blaine asked her when she looked through the song selection list.

"This one!" Rachel pointed to a song and Blaine scrunched up his face. He'd expected her to choose a Broadway classic. He wasn't prepared for an upbeat pop number.

"Why this one?" he asked curiously.

Rachel looked at him all serious. "Because it's about someone who's been through a lot, but still wants to believe in love. I think there's always hope for true love and we should spread the word, don't you think?"

For a moment Blaine's throat tightened and he had to avert his eyes from her earnest gaze. "I like it," he finally said and they were allowed to take the stage next.

Rachel grabbed the microphone and rapped the first lines in a raunchy voice.

"I can't believe this place I'm in  
Everywhere and back again"

Blaine swayed along, snapping his fingers and getting into the beat of the song. He was impressed by Rachel's sexy performance and her confidence. She knew that she was good and considering their audience and the other contestants she probably was the best performer on stage tonight.

"Got my back against the wall  
Wonder where I'll be tomorrow?

It's hard to find a man,  
They say it's hard to achieve  
But can't a girl believe?"

Although Blaine was blown away by her stage presence, but he had a good feeling that he could keep up with Rachel. He had never given up glee club and his voice was well trained. However, tonight was difficult for him, because Kurt was in the audience. So when Blaine took hold of the microphone he transfered all his heart into singing the refrain, so that perhaps Kurt could feel it, too.

"Is there somebody who still believes in love?  
I know you're out there  
There's got to be somebody

I search around the world  
But I can't seem to find  
Somebody to love"

He couldn't help sneaking glances over to Kurt who was watching with an unreadable expression, his chin propped up in his hand. Blaine continued the lines with a catch in his voice,

"Baby, give me the key to your heart  
I can give you what you want

When you're waiting for love  
And you're lookin' for someone

There's got to be somebody  
Somebody who still believes in love"

Rachel joined in and they sang the chorus and the last few lines together. Blaine was amazed by how easy it was to get into step with Rachel. Although they hadn't rehearsed the song they were totally in sync.

"Is there somebody who still believes in love?  
I know you're out there  
There's got to be somebody

I search around the world  
But I can't seem to find  
Somebody to love"

At the end of the song Rachel took his hand and they bowed to their audience. Blaine was surprised about the vigorous applause they received, but he didn't really care. His eyes were set on Kurt who was clapping, too, but seemed lost in his own thoughts. This second Blaine would give his last bottle of hair gel to know what Kurt was thinking.

Most of all Blaine wanted to know if Kurt still believed in love.

They returned to the table and Rachel flipped her hair out of the way.

"Marvelous as always," Andrew complimented her. He didn't say anything about Blaine's performance, but Blaine didn't want him to. He was only interested in Kurt's review, but his ex was stirring the ice cubes in his coke with a straw.

"Oh, I love singing with Blaine," Rachel declared in all earnestness. "You know, it's really hard to find someone who can keep up with me vocally."

"And in the future might give you vaguely Eurasian-looking children," Kurt added with a smirk and raised his glass to her.

"What was that?" Blaine asked baffled, looking from Kurt to Rachel, but Rachel burst out laughing and kissed Kurt affectionately on the cheek.

"They're always like this," Andrew complained. "All these stupid insider jokes."

Blaine didn't reply to that. He just kept trying to read Kurt's mind.

"But you know, Kurt," Rachel said, turning all serious once more and ignoring the fact that Blaine and Andrew were around, "as much as I adore him, there's something Blaine and I will never have," she paused and smiled tenderly at Kurt, before she added, "and that's _chemistry."_

Blaine narrowed his brows at her words. He didn't know what this exchange was all about, but her remark made Kurt lose his cool for the split of a second, long enough for Blaine to catch how Kurt's eyes turned so incredibly sad that it made his own heart ache.

"Do they have cake here?" Kurt asked out of the blue, sounding vulnerable all of a sudden. "I'd really love some cheesecake now."

"I'll go and check," Andrew offered, not really catching on to Kurt's change in mood. "Do you also want another coke?" he asked, his eyes on Kurt and the almost empty glass in front of him.

Kurt nodded. "Diet, please. Thanks."

"Me, too, please!" Rachel chimed in and steepled her hands in plea.

"Alright, I'll buy a round," Andrew offered generously. "What'll you have, Blaine?"

"I'm good, thanks," Blaine declined, determined to not taking anything from The Boyfriend.

"You sure? I can get you a beer if you want me to."

"No, thanks," Blaine repeated coolly. He wasn't gonna drink beer and screw up his thing with Kurt all over again.

Andrew shrugged and walked off towards the counter.

"So, Blaine Warbler," Kurt addressed him unexpectantly, making Blaine look up with wide eyes and readying himself for whatever came next.

"Yeah?"

"No bow-tie tonight?" Kurt asked with a tender smile.

Blaine was surprised by the question. He hadn't worn bow-ties in such a long time that it didn't occur to him now that the possibility of wearing them even existed. Being reminded of them brought back a whole bunch of memories.

"I've stopped wearing them," Blaine replied with a shrug, and he could see the disappointment in Kurt's eyes, disguised with a little pout.

The truth was that Blaine had stopped wearing them because every morning when he had put them on they had reminded him of the fact that Kurt had once loved the bow-ties. That Kurt once had loved him.

"What about you? Long sleeves again?" Blaine teased back, since it was hot in the pub and Kurt was wearing a long sleeved turtleneck.

"You know I hate summertime," Kurt replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I get sunburned so easily."

"But not at night, sitting in a bar," Rachel said with a laugh, nudging Kurt's side, and Blaine could have sworn that Kurt had flinched at her touch. Also, Blaine didn't miss the way Kurt put one hand on Rachel's arm to keep her at bay, to stop her from clinging to his side. She was chatting so happily that she didn't notice. Blaine knew that Kurt wasn't a very touchy person, but he had never minded a friendly hug before. Why was he flinching away from Rachel's touch now?

Andrew returned to the table with their sodas and another beer for himself. "Sweets for my sweet," he said and put a _Snickers_ candy bar in front of Kurt. "Sorry, they didn't have cheesecake, but I know how much you love _nuts_, so I brought you this."

"Thanks," Kurt said, deliberately ignoring the inappropriate remark and unwrapping the candy bar. Rachel teased him about having a sugar addiction, but Kurt just grinned at her. For Blaine it was clear to see that Kurt loved being around Rachel, but at the same time he kept his distance.

"You're gonna love New York," Rachel turned to Blaine in a friendly chitterchatter for the hundredth time, "it's such an amazing town, you'll never get used to its amazingness. Even after living here for almost a year there's still so much to see."

"Rachel could make some extra money as a tour guide," Kurt joked, chuckling.

"How about you show me some of your favorite places someday, Kurt," Blaine said innocently, but his heart beat sped up at the prospect of walking the streets of New York with Kurt.

"Someday, maybe," Kurt replied, sounding less enthusiastic. "It's just that I'm really busy at the moment. I can't make any promises."

"You can come with us to _Babylon_," Andrew offered, with a sassy grin on his face. "We can show you around there."

Blaine knew instantly that this guy couldn't be trusted. "What's _Babylon_?" he turned to Kurt.

"It's a gay bar," Kurt said with a quick shake of his head. "Just a place to dance and hook up."

"Yeah, just the right place for you, Blaine, isn't it?" Andrew said with another dirty grin. "You love to hook up, don't you?"

Blaine hated him more and more with every passing second.

"Stop it," Kurt said with a sharp voice, putting his hand on his boyfriend's arm.

"I'm just saying," Andrew went on, blowing his hair out of his eyes. "I don't understand how someone can cheat on someone _this_ beautiful."

"Drew!" Kurt tilted his head and glanced at his boyfriend warningly.

"It's the truth, babe," Andrew put his arm around Kurt's shoulder and drew him near, grazing his hand along the curve of Kurt's jaw. "You're fucking beautiful, Kurt. Just look at this pretty face, everyone!"

Blaine had to strain himself from slapping Andrew's hand away.

"Doesn't he have just perfect skin?" Andrew purred and stroked the back of his hand over Kurt's cheek. "So soft and flawless."

Kurt took Andrew's hand and gently put it down on the table. "It's called skin care."

"Did you know that he spends two hours every night in the bathroom?" Andrew told Rachel and Blaine in a mock-confidential tone. Rachel giggled; having lived with Kurt she knew that Andrew was exaggerating.

"I don't spend two hours on my skin care," Kurt protested.

"Then what are you doing in the bathroom for so long every night?" Andrew asked. "Keeping me waiting and waiting and waiting..." Andrew nuzzled into the crook of Kurt's neck.

Kurt leaned slightly away from him. "I think you've had a little too much to drink already." Kurt raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"I wish I had a boyfriend who couldn't keep his hands off of me," Rachel said laughing and flashed a smile at her best friend.

Blaine found himself looking at Kurt whenever Kurt wasn't looking his way. He just couldn't take his eyes off of Kurt. Seeing him again after all this time brought back so many memories and reminded him of all the things that he loved about him. The way his eyes wrinkled when he laughed or his face scrunched up when Rachel kissed him on the cheek, the way he tilted his head sometimes, spacing out like listening to a melody in his head or just daydreaming away.

Blaine missed him so much it hurt.

However, he observed that his ex seemed tense, not really relaxed and not truly enjoying himself. Probably this was because Blaine was present and with him all those ghosts that had been stored away neatly for the past months.

Blaine hoped that Kurt didn't mind his intruding. He wanted to be a part of Kurt's life again. Although he didn't know how he should deal with the fact that Kurt was in a new relationship. It was hard watching him and thinking about how The Boyfriend was allowed to speak to him, kiss him, touch him...

"I'm gonna sing for you now, babe!" Andrew suddenly announced.

Kurt pulled a face. "I'd rather if you don't."

"I'm gonna sing for you if you like it or not!" Andrew repeated with a grin and walked off claiming the stage. He took a moment to choose a song and then went straight to the microphone.

Blaine changed a look with Rachel, asking her silently what to expect. She just shrugged and sipped at her diet coke. Of course Blaine feared that this guy was an amazing singer. Perhaps the reason that Kurt wouldn't sing in front of him was that Andrew had an outstanding voice no one could compete with.

"This is for the owner of my heart," Andrew spoke into the mike and earned some applause.

Blaine just wanted to puke all over the table.

After Andrew sang the first few lines of "Amor" Blaine knew for sure that this guy indeed had an outstanding voice. Outstandingly awful. In no way was Andrew a threat in the voice department.

"Amor, Amor, my love,  
This word's so sweet

That I repeat  
It means I adore you

Would you deny this heart  
That I have placed before you?"

Blaine couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing and silently shook his head in denial. Andrew was moving alluringly on stage, dragging the words out like a schmalzy soul singer. This was so unbelieveable bad that this couldn't be for real. This wasn't even entertaining or funny. This was plain awful. Like, seriously? He chose to sing a super-tacky love song to Kurt? Clearly he was just a joker.

In his horror Blaine looked around and was relieved to see that Rachel was laughing her head off at the performance. It was clear that she didn't take this shit serious, too.

Kurt had covered half of his face with his hand, watching his boyfriend with an amused smile on his features. Blaine knew that Kurt was a hopeless romantic and probably even this poor attempt of a serenade could win him over. Still, Blaine didn't get it. What on earth did Kurt see in that guy?

By now Blaine hated just _everything_ about The Boyfriend, starting with the fact that this guy was everything Blaine was _not:_ tall (taller than Kurt) with broad shoulders and messy hair, bad-mannered and a very, _very_ bad singer.

Blaine noticed the way Kurt laughed at Andrew's poor attempt to sing a love song. Perhaps this was it, Blaine realized. Andrew wasn't perfect and Kurt wasn't looking for a perfect boyfriend.

After taking a bow and receiving some meager applause, Andrew came back to his seat and put an arm around Kurt's shoulders, drawing him near. "Hey beautiful, how'd you like my singing?"

"Breathtaking," Kurt joked.

"Just like you are, babe," Andrew purred and again Blaine felt the urge to throw up.

He remembered the time when Kurt had told him that he took his breath away. Back then Kurt had meant it. It hadn't been a joke to him. Blaine hoped that one day he'd be able to take Kurt's breath away again.

Blaine watched as Kurt gently freed himself from Andrew's hands.

_Too close. No room to breathe. Let him breathe, you idiot,_ Blaine kept saying in his mind. Kurt had never been a very PDA-y person. Perhaps it had been because they'd been in high school in Ohio, but even living in New York cannot change a person that much. It was clear as day to Blaine that Kurt didn't like Andrew's hands all over him.

"I gotta pee," Andrew announced. "You come along?" He grinned at Kurt.

"You go ahead," Kurt patted his arm.

"Come with me," Andrew pleaded, pulling at Kurt's sleeve.

Blaine had to keep himself from shouting out, _He said no, you idiot! And stop stretching the fabric of his sleeve, he hates that!_

"I'd rather stay with Rachel..." Kurt declined and it looked like he wanted to add "and Blaine" but thought better of it.

"She's got company," Andrew protested.

With a sigh Kurt got up and threw Rachel a look. "I'll be back in a minute."

"Take your time!" Rachel grinned and raised her hands.

Blaine watched the way Andrew linked his thumb into the back pocket of Kurt's jeans as they walked through the room.

Blaine dropped his face in one hand, he felt miserable.

"Rachel..."

"Yeah?" Rachel looked up at him.

"Why didn't Kurt give me a second chance back then?" he asked. "If only he'd given me the chance to prove that I still love him more than anything and that this... this stupid hook-up meant nothing to me."

Rachel bit down on her lips, not sure what to say.

"He wouldn't even see me," Blaine went on. "Or let me explain. The past year has been hell for me, Rachel! Not talking to him, not seeing him, not knowing what was going on in his life. And now he's with this... _this guy_!" Blaine pulled a face in disgust, gesturing the way they'd vanished. "This is ridiculous! What's he doing with this jerk?"

"Can't you imagine that he couldn't see you without thinking about you with this other guy?" Rachel said, lowering her voice. "You totally crushed his self-esteem. It's not easy to forgive and forget something like that."

"I know it's not easy," Blaine said miserably, "but I want to believe that it's not impossible either."

"The point is that you told Kurt he was the love of your life," Rachel said, slowly shaking her head. "A couple of months later you cheated on him with a meaningless stranger you've met on _Facebook. _I know that a distant relationship is really, really hard, especially considering how close you have been. And I know that Kurt has made mistakes, too, but going to another guy, because you felt lonley? Blaine, that feels like you thought Kurt's not even worth waiting for."

"I didn't go to that guy with the intention to cheat on Kurt," Blaine shook his head. "I just needed someone to talk to, someone who took some interest in me. But as soon as I arrived there it became pretty clear that Eli wasn't really up for a chat. He started kissing me, and... and it felt good. It just sort of happened and I didn't stop it," Blaine shrugged helplessly and drew a hand over his face.

"Rachel, how can I make it undone?"

Rachel looked at him with pitying eyes. She had no answer for him.

Blaine took a shaky breath and looked up to the ceiling. "I never, _never_ meant to hurt him, Rachel."

"Yes, I know, but you did," Rachel replied with a soft voice. "The people you love have the power to hurt you the most."

"You have no idea how much I want to make all of this undone," Blaine told her in a hoarse voice. "I wish I'd never gone to that guy's house."

Rachel nodded sadly and reached out to squeeze his hand. "I believe you, Blaine Warbler. Let me put in a good word for you and see what I can do, okay?"

"Thanks," Blaine said, leaning his arm against her's. "Do you think I still have a chance at all?"

"You have to know one thing," Rachel leaned her head closer in a confidential manner. "Kurt's insecure, he's always been insecure. But even after all that has happened, he still loves you."

"I'm not sure about that," Blaine shook his head sadly.

"But I am," Rachel stated with a smile. "He's never stopped loving you. That's why it's so hurtful for him to think that you have."

Blaine's eyes widened at that statement. "But I _never_ stopped loving him, Rachel."

"Good," Rachel squeezed his hand once more. "Then you need to go and fight for him. Show him that he's worth fighting for."

Blaine nodded at her words, determined to fight for Kurt's love, but not sure how to start following her advice.

"What's keeping them so long?" Blaine couldn't help checking his watch and getting restless the longer it took Kurt to come back. What were they doing in the restroom for so long?

"I'm gonna go check on Kurt," Blaine said and got up.

"Don't," Rachel said, putting her hand on his arm, but Blaine shook his head silently. He had to follow them. He couldn't imagine that Kurt would allow this disgusting guy to fool around with him at a bar's restroom. Kurt was better than this. He deserved someone who'd cherish his every step and not grab him in public.

The way to the restrooms led downstairs into a dimmed hallway.

Blaine took a few steps down, his soft sneakers almost making no sound on the cement stairs that led around a corner.

Blaine stopped dead in his tracks when he heard loud whispering coming up from the bottom of the stairs. Just around the corner he could make out two guys, pressed against the cold stone wall. Blaine instantly forgot how to breathe, he was too appalled by what he saw.

Kurt was pushed up against the wall, and Andrew was nearly on top of him, clutching his arm. The tension between them was palpable.

It was not a sexual tension.

Andrew had a vise grip on Kurt's wrist and he was hissing something at him. From the threatening sound of his voice Blaine could figure that it wasn't a love poem.

"I asked you something!" Andrew spoke louder now, his face only inches away from Kurt's.

"I'm not, Drew," Kurt said in a low, reassuring tone. "I'm _not_, okay? You don't have to worry."

"I hope so," Andrew growled and gave Kurt another push against the wall.

"Kurt?" Blaine called out, his voice a little shaky, and took a few more steps down. "What's going on?"

Immediately Andrew stepped back, making it look less intense than it was.

"Look who's here!" Andrew called out arrogantly. "The cheating ass!"

Blaine gritted his teeth. Yes, he had cheated and regretted it every day. But he'd never laid a hand on Kurt.

"Keep your hands off of him," Blaine said in a low voice.

"What did you just say?" Andrew let out a laugh and walked upstairs to meet him, squaring his broad shoulders.

"I said keep your hands off of Kurt!" Blaine repeated, standing his ground in the middle of the stairwell.

"And who are _you_ to tell me?" Andrew came closer now, his breath reeking of beer.

"Don't, Drew, he's not worth it." Kurt went between them and put his hands around Andrew's waist. "You hear me? He's not worth it!"

Kurt tugged at his boyfriend. "Let's go home and catch the late night show on cable, alright? I think Taylor Swift is a guest tonight. You like her, don't you?"

"Oh, she's a doll," Andrew admitted and wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulder. "Just like you are, baby."

Without a glance back Kurt pulled Andrew upstairs, leaving Blaine behind.

Blaine slumped heavy back against the wall, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

_He's not worth it! _

_He's not worth it!_

Blaine remembered the day they had confronted Karofsky together on the stairwell in McKinley. Kurt had stepped between them to keep Karofsky from hurting him.

Kurt had stepped between them now and pulled Andrew away.

He did it to protect Blaine.

Kurt had just saved him.

He had saved him!

Because he _was_ worth it.

This realization gave Blaine a creepy chill.

For one, it meant that Kurt still cared a great deal about him.

Second, it meant that there was a dark side of Andrew that he needed protection from.

Apparently Andrew wasn't the picture perfect boyfriend after all.

* * *

**Songs in this chapter: **

**Ben E. King – Amor**

**Leighton Meester feat. Robin Thicke – Somebody to love**

* * *

**Thank you for reading! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you everybody for your reviews and your feedback. :) **

_**HarmonyLover**_**, I love all of your pet peeves, I don't mind them at all. And thank you for giving Blaine the proper jeans to wear. ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"No way, Blaine," Rachel gestured wildly. "You want me to believe that Andrew's _abusing_ Kurt?"

They were sitting on the couch in her loft and already drinking the second big mug of hot chocolate. Rachel was on a sugar rush. From what little Blaine gathered of girls' issues, she was also on her period, which left her extra clingy and frightened. After the night at the Irish pub had ended so abruptly, she had asked Blaine to stay overnight at her place.

"You have to admit that something's off with this guy."

"Yeah, _he's a guy_!" Rachel pointed out. "I happen to know from experience that guys are idiots most of the time. No exceptions! But you can clearly see how much he's into Kurt. He barely leaves him alone for one second."

"I told you that I ran into them," Blaine insisted. "Andrew had Kurt pinned on the wall, and when I showed up, he instantly let go of him so as not to look suspicious."

Rachel scrunched up her face. "Are you sure they weren't just making out the moment you stepped in on them?"

"I'm telling you, Rachel, Andrew had a firm grip on Kurt's arm," Blaine stressed. "It looked very painful, and he was talking to him like he was threatening him. When I confronted him about it he was going to attack me. If Kurt hadn't stepped in, Andrew might have beaten me up!"

"You know, when I said you should go and fight for Kurt I didn't mean you should actually go and pick a fight with Andrew," Rachel said with a heavy sigh, curling into his side like a kitten.

"I just can't stop thinking about Kurt in that apartment with that monster," Blaine growled. "He could be doing _anything_ to him right now."

"Monster?" Rachel laughed at that and Blaine could feel her body vibrate against his. "Come on, you're just jealous."

"No, I'm not! Well, okay, maybe I am jealous. But it's got nothing to do with the fact that something is seriously wrong. This Andrew guy isn't the nice guy he appears to be."

"Bla-haine is jea-lous," Rachel started a childish singsong, giggling into Blaine's shoulder. "Blaine's still in love with Ku-hurt! He wants him ba-hack!"

"Can you call him, please?" Blaine begged.

Rachel sat back to look at him like, _seriously_?

"Please, Rachel," Blaine put on his puppy dog eyes. "Just call him and ask him if he's okay. _Please_!"

"I'm sure he's fine," she said, but seemed uncertain herself. "All right, if it makes you feel better."

Rachel stretched to retrieve her phone from the coffee table and settled back Indian-style next to Blaine.

"Don't tell him that I'm with you," Blaine instructed her. "And put the speaker on. I want to..."

"...eavesdrop? Hear his voice? Internally freak out that you can't call him yourself, because you're too chicken?" Rachel winked at him with a grin.

Blaine gave her a dirty look, but then nodded in defeat. "Yes to all the points on your list. Would you call him now, please?"

"All right, all right," Rachel murmured and hit the call button on her phone. It didn't take long until Kurt answered with a tired voice.

"Rachel, it's late..."

"Yeah, sorry, I just... well, you left in such a hurry earlier tonight. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to leave you worrying," Kurt replied in a soft voice. "Andrew wanted to catch something on TV. He only remembered last minute."

"Oh, I was just wondering..." Rachel bit down on her lips and ignored Blaine gesturing at her. "You know, Kurt, Blaine told me he ran into you two on the way to the restroom..."

"Right." Kurt let out a chuckle. "Yeah, that was a bit awkward."

"Blaine said that Andrew seemed to be angry," Rachel approached carefully.

"Yes, to tell the truth Andrew got a little bit jealous upon meeting Blaine, that's all. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Stop worrying about me, Rachel," Kurt said with a little laugh. "I can handle Drew when he's in one of his moods."

Rachel exchanged a look with Blaine, before continuing. "Well, I'm just sad that we didn't get to talk much, Kurt. I really miss you. How about we meet up again tomorrow night? There's so much news I need to gush about with you!"

"Tomorrow's Friday," Kurt reminded her. "Friday night is _Babylon_ night."

"Oh, right, _men only_," Rachel pouted, but then her eyes lit up and she grinned at Blaine. "Hey! How about you take Blaine along to _Babylon_? Andrew invited him, didn't he? Maybe you'll find a cute boyfriend for Blaine there!"

Blaine nudged her leg. _What the f...?_

"Rachel," Kurt sighed. "He's with you, isn't he?"

"No! What makes you think that?" Rachel exclaimed theatrically.

"You really think I don't know the two of you?" Kurt chuckled again. "Let me talk to him."

Rachel grimaced apologetically at Blaine and handed the phone over.

"Hey Kurt, sorry about that..." Blaine said sheepishly.

"You can come with us if you want to," Kurt cut in. "_Babylon_, tomorrow night. You're staying at Rachel's, right? I need to gather up some things at her place anyway, so I'll drop by and pick you up. Let's say around eleven?"

"Sounds good," Blaine said quickly, too stunned by the proposal to be able to process it. Kurt really wanted to take him to a gay dance club tomorrow night? "Uhm, what am I going to wear?"

"Just put on some black jeans – do you still own that pair of Guess skinny jeans? – and a button down shirt; pick any color except turquoise or orange," Kurt instructed him. "Don't use too much hair gel, and I promise they're gonna love you there."

"Thanks for the advice," Blaine replied with a smile, keeping to himself that he didn't want to be loved by anyone at _Babylon_ but Kurt. "I'd love to come along."

"Good. Then I'll see you tomorrow night," Kurt said, and Blaine wished he could crawl through the telephone to be able to see the warmth in Kurt's eyes that went along with the softness of his beautiful voice.

"Blaine?" Kurt said after a moment of silence.

"Yes?" Blaine replied eagerly, still paralyzed by the fact that he'd see Kurt again the next night.

"Can you hand the phone over to Rachel, please?"

"Oh, sure." Blaine didn't tell Kurt that he was on speaker anyway and Rachel could hear every spoken word.

Rachel took the phone cautiously and huddled against Blaine for comfort, because she expected her best friend to rant and rave at her for teaming up with Blaine and scheming against him.

"Yes, Kurt?"

"I love you, Rachel Berry," Kurt said in a soft voice.

Instantly Rachel teared up. "I love you, too," she managed to say with a catch in her voice.

"I'm glad to know that Blaine's with you and that you're not alone."

"Yeah, me, too." Rachel wiped her eyes. "He's great to hang out with."

"Goodnight, Rachel," Kurt said. He cleared his throat and added with a slight quiver in his voice, "I miss you, too, you know."

Rachel smiled brightly with one tear escaping down her cheek. "Goodnight. See you tomorrow!"

* * *

"Tell me about _Babylon_. What's it like?" Blaine asked Rachel in the middle of the night.

They were sharing Rachel's bed. Blaine allowed her to wrap her arms around his waist and rest her head on his shoulder. Her closeness made him think of how he'd fallen asleep with Kurt a couple of times. How he had listened to Kurt's heartbeat and felt secure and at home. It hadn't happened often enough. Having been teenagers and living with their parents they never really got the chance to spend a whole night together.

This Andrew guy didn't know how lucky he was to be able to share an apartment, a bed, a life with Kurt.

"I don't know much about it. It's strictly men only," Rachel said, pouting again. "I tried to get in once, but they wouldn't even let me use the restroom. Kurt doesn't talk much about it either, except that he likes to dance there and apparently there are a lot of handsome guys."

Blaine tried to imagine his ex-boyfriend dancing among a bunch of good-looking young men, enjoying himself in the fancy crowd.

Thinking about this set him back to that night at _Scandals_, the way they'd both been a little awkward, but excited about visiting a gay bar. Feeling adventurous and brave. Feeling grown-up.

But most of all he remembered Kurt's confession afterwards.

"_I wanted to be your gay bar superstar." _

The way Kurt had blushed and smiled wistfully, thinking he had failed.

"_But try as I might I'm just a silly romantic."_

Blaine bit down on his lips, remembering the kiss they'd shared in the auditorium that night. More than anything he wanted to kiss Kurt like that again.

"Why don't you have a new boyfriend, Rachel?" Blaine asked after another long and unsuccessful moment of trying to fall asleep.

"I could ask you the same, but I don't have to. I know what it's like to be soulmates with someone, and you do, too," Rachel whispered into the darkness.

She slowly shook her head, pressing her cheek into his shoulder. "I was going to get married, Blaine. For such a long time Finn had been my everything. It's not easy to just move on to another when your heart is still healing from the loss of the first."

Blaine just squeezed her in response and pretended not to notice her tears seeping into his shirt.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! **

**And to all the singles out there – this is our year! ;)**

_**HarmonyLover**_**, thanks for proof-reading this chapter! You'll see I've changed the ending, I hope you approve! **

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"You're looking good!" Rachel assured him, standing next to him in front of the body mirror. "No need to feel nervous!"

"Ha!" Blaine let out a bitter laugh. Being nervous was understatement of the year. Blaine was a wreck. In a couple of minutes Kurt would show up and take him to a gay bar in New York. How could he not be nervous?

"Everybody's going to crane their necks after you!" Rachel patted his back.

"I don't care about _everybody_," Blaine sighed, brushing over the sleeves of his dark purple button down.

"I know," Rachel leaned her cheek against his shoulder. They were both staring at their reflections for a moment, trying to collect themselves.

The door bell rang and Blaine flinched. Oh God, he wasn't ready yet! His hair was a mess! And he still didn't decide which shoes to put on and...

"KURT!" Rachel squeaked and clapped her hands happily. She had opened the door and waited for Kurt to come upstairs.

"Oh, how I've missed your endearing excitement," Kurt chuckled when he finally reached the last step and couldn't escape her embrace.

"I made cake!" Rachel announced proudly and pulled her best friend inside.

Blaine stood in the middle of the room awkwardly and expectantly. Again he didn't know how to approach Kurt. It was the third time they met since he'd arrived in New York.

"Hey," Blaine said along with an uncertain smile when Kurt laid eyes on him.

"Hey yourself." Kurt raised his eyebrows in appreciation. "Looking good, Blaine Anderson."

"Thanks," Blaine breathed and gestured towards his ex. "You, too."

Kurt had highlighted his hair, making it look lighter than it usually was. It was cut close to Kurt's scalp in the back and on the sides, but it had been left long on top, and Kurt had styled it so that it towered up in the front, sweeping up and away from his forehead.

He wore a long black coat which he kept on as he sat down on the couch, crossing his legs. "Apple crumble! My favorite!" Kurt lifted a large piece of cake onto his plate. "Blaine, you have to try this, it's to die for."

Blaine sat down across from Kurt and couldn't help checking his ex out. As always, Kurt looked impeccable. His face was spotless, his hair perfectly made, and his posture graceful but casual.

Kurt's knee-high boots made him taller than he was, and the tight black jeans and the thin coat hugged his slender legs and body. That's why it surprised Blaine when Kurt pounced on the cake.

"Beware, if you're going to move in with her," Kurt said to Blaine, cupping his hand around his mouth in a confidential manner. "She can't cook, but she can make a hell of a cake. You'll have gained some pounds before you know it."

"Doesn't really look like it," Blaine said, raising his brows at Kurt's slim figure.

"I'm going to be dancing these calories off again tonight." Kurt licked some cream off his finger and forked another big piece of cake.

"I wish I could come with you," Rachel put on a sad smile. "I miss hanging out with my bestie."

"You have Blaine now," Kurt said. "I bet you two are going to have a lot of fun living together."

"Well yeah, Blaine's cute and all that," Rachel pondered, and Blaine had to grin at his friends talking about him as if he wasn't sitting next to them. "But I can't really turn to him when I have a wardrobe crisis, can I?"

"Oh, he might just surprise you," Kurt countered, pointing with his fork at his ex. "Actually Blaine's very fashion-conscious if he tries. And he has an eye for matching colors. At least sometimes."

"Well, thank you, I guess," Blaine said warily.

"But watch out, Rachel, you might end up wearing blue and red striped ties combined with oversized dark blue blazers," Kurt joked, with Rachel giggling at his every word.

"Very funny," Blaine replied, enjoying the bickering. He had longed to interact this casually with Kurt again. "I remember you loving the blazer on me like crazy," he added in a flirtatious tone.

"Yes, I did," Kurt admitted with a sassy glance at his ex, flirting back. "But I loved the bow-ties even more."

"Oh, the bow-ties!" Rachel joined in happily. "I always felt like touching them."

"Yeah, me, too," Kurt laughed.

Blaine smiled at them, tilting his head. "Excuse me, is this you guys admiring my former style or are you making fun of me?"

Rachel poked her finger into his shoulder. "We love you, Blaine Warbler! We'd never make fun of you!"

"Girl Scout's Honor!" Kurt raised his hand at shoulder height, giving the three-finger salute.

"Yeah! Girl Scout's Honor!" Rachel copied his three fingered sign.

Blaine laughed. "At least being a former girl scout explains why you're good at baking stuff, Rachel."

"I never was a girl scout," Kurt confessed. "I wasn't a boy scout either. When I was little I just played tea party in our backyard all day long."

"Well, then, do you care for another slice of apple crumble, my dear?" Rachel asked him playfully.

"My darling friend, how could I resist?" Kurt played along. "And do you have more of this delicious fruity tea?"

Blaine chuckled at his friends' childish but adorable behavior.

"We should get going," Kurt said after a while. "_Babylon's_ waiting for us!" He shouldered the dufflebag with his clothes that Rachel had prepared for him and kissed her goodbye on the cheek.

Blaine followed him outside, excited but also wary. He'd rather spend the night with Rachel and Kurt on the couch, fooling around. He wasn't keen on meeting Andrew again and being reminded that Kurt was already taken.

* * *

Kurt was driving his boyfriend's black BMW, which was quite impressive looking. However, as soon as he started the engine and the radio started blasting – apparently picking up the last song of the CD that had been playing – Blaine cringed visibly.

It was a loud, horrible electronic crap. Fast beats, distorted voices, senseless lyrics, without any heart and soul. Coming from an a cappella choir background, Blaine despised such electronic noise that called itself music.

"Oh, my God, this is horrible!" Blaine exclaimed in disgust. "Is this what Andrew listens to?"

"Yes." Kurt cocked his head at him. "And me, too."

"Are you kidding me? You've got better taste than this mind-numbing crap! God, I can't hear myself think!"

"I happen to appreciate its numbness," Kurt replied with a slight shrug. "After working so many hours every day you just need something to turn your mind off of things."

"I'd rather have something to sing along with," Blaine said. "Do you mind if I switch on the radio?"

"Hands off the radio!" Kurt's voice was sharp, startling Blaine.

"Sorry," Kurt added in a softer tone, "but I'm not listening to the radio anymore."

"Why not?" Blaine asked, baffled.

"Do you have any idea how often certain songs are repeated over and over again on the radio?"

"Like which songs?" Blaine asked, clueless.

Kurt let out an exasperated sigh. "Like those I don't want to be reminded of."

Blaine considered this. Since Kurt had given up on NYADA and his Broadway dreams he could see that Kurt wouldn't want to listen to show tunes anymore, because they would remind him of that. Also, listening to pop music was out of question, because a lot of songs would remind him of their relationship. God, even Blaine hadn't listened to Katy Perry in a year, because it was just too hurtful.

"Can I look for another CD then? There's got to be something else in here."

"Good luck!" Kurt chuckled.

The inside of Andrew's BMW was as clean as an operating room. Not a grain of dust was to be seen anywhere. That's why Blaine was startled when he opened the glove box and all the trash tumbled out: a hundred CDs with no cases, tissues, gum and candy wrappings, empty cigarette packs.

"Lovely," Blaine commented on the mess; most of the stuff had fallen to his feet.

What else was hidden under the surface?

Blaine took a stack of burned CDs out of the glove compartment and read the inscriptions on them, which were written in a messy handwriting. He was intrigued when he found a CD saying _Kurt's voice_. Curiously, Blaine put the CD in.

A soft piano started playing, dreamy and soothing, and Blaine instantly relaxed. Now, this was what he called fine music.

Kurt, on the other hand, looked up in horror. Instantly he reached out and hit the eject button. The CD came right out again. "I knew it!" he called out, angry. "I knew he'd taken it!"

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked, taking the CD labeled _Kurt's voice_ out again. "What's on this CD?"

"It's nothing," Kurt said firmly. "Throw it out of the window."

"What?" Blaine narrowed his eyes at his ex.

"It's _my_ CD," Kurt explained and opened Blaine's window by pushing a button at his side of the car. "I don't want Andrew to have it. Throw it out, now!"

Blaine reluctantly twirled the CD in between his hands, not sure what to do. He wanted to know why this CD was so special to Kurt and why he didn't want Andrew to have it.

"Blaine, what are you doing?" Kurt asked impatiently. "Just throw it out, please!"

"Keep your eyes on the road," Blaine said, then he let the CD accidentally drop to his feet. Leaning forward to pick it up he quickly mixed it up with another one labelled _My fave top 100_ and threw this one out of the window while secretly slipping Kurt's CD into the inside pocket of his jacket.

"Thank you." Kurt closed the window again with a sigh. "Now, can you please put the mind-numbing crap back on?"

"I'd prefer listening to nothing," Blaine said.

"Sweet nothingness it is then," Kurt confirmed with a smile.

Blaine let his eyes drift along the nightly sights of the city, without really taking anything in. All he was truly aware of was Kurt's presence, the way he kept his eyes straight on the road and his fingers were stroking the steering wheel.

Kurt drove into a parking garage near the dance club and into a free space. He unbuckled his seat belt, but instead of getting out of the car he leaned forward across Blaine's lap to retrieve a small make-up purse out of the messy glove compartment.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked amused when Kurt pulled out black eyeliner.

"Getting ready for _Babylon_," Kurt answered airily, adjusting the rearview mirror and expertly putting on eyeliner followed by silver glittery eye shadow which he applied with a fine brush.

Blaine watched him fascinated. "Do I need that stuff, too?"

"Don't worry," Kurt grinned sweetly. "You don't need to do anything to attract attention."

"You don't either, Kurt."

"Well, I like to add the little extra touch of _mystery_," Kurt winked at him, and Blaine was astonished at how different Kurt looked with just a little bit of eye make-up on.

"Wait, looks like you need some of this." Kurt produced a little tube out of his purse and twisted it open. He squeezed some skincolored cream on his finger and reached out to conceil a spot on Blaine's chin.

Blaine held still and let it happen. He held his breath and couldn't take his eyes away from Kurt's face.

His ex-boyfriend was so close to him and Kurt's eyes were fixated on him, well, on a nasty spot on his chin, dear Lord, but still, having Kurt's attention felt great.

Kurt's fingers were ghosting over his face, and Blaine had to dig his nails into the palms of his hands to suppress a shiver as well as the longing to just grab and kiss him and see what might happen.

"There you go," Kurt announced with a wistful smile as he finished working on Blaine's skin. "Perfect again."

"You think so?" Blaine asked sheepishly.

Kurt looked him right in the eye and a sad smile tucked at the corners of his mouth. "You've always been perfect in my eyes, you know that."

Blaine felt like crying and tried to swallow a lump in his throat. "I wish I was," he managed to say with a catch in his voice.

"Let's go," Kurt hurried out.

Blaine followed him slowly; he wouldn't have minded just staying in that car forever.

"Doesn't Andrew mind that I'm coming along?" he asked on their way out of the parking garage and across the street towards the dance club.

"Actually, he can't wait to interrogate you," Kurt warned him. "Just keep your mouth shut, okay? Don't tell him any shit about me." Kurt scrunched up his face. "Pardon my language, I fear it rubs off. What I meant to say was, please don't tell him _anything_ about me."

"Why would he ask me things about you?" Blaine asked, confused.

"Just so he learns stuff about me that he can annoy me with." Kurt said with a chuckle. "He can be a real pain in the butt sometimes."

"Huh! Sounds like _true love_," Blaine said derisively before he could stop himself. He quickly glanced at Kurt who had gone tense at his words and stopped in the middle of the street, not caring about cars honking at them.

"Kurt?" Blaine turned to his friend now, a little bit terrified about standing in the middle of a busy road. He motioned for Kurt to move on, but Kurt just glared at him.

"You don't get to talk about true love with me, Blaine Anderson." Kurt pointed his finger at him, his voice was dripping with anger and hurt. "I can't believe you're making fun of me!"

Blaine stepped closer in an attempt to avoid the scary traffic around them. "I didn't mean to make fun of you."

"You did," Kurt snapped at him. "And I won't have you laughing in my face."

"I'm not," Blaine assured him, pleading with his eyes. "Kurt, more than anything I wish you happiness and love. I just don't think that Andrew is the right person to give you that."

Kurt seemed to consider his words as he continued to glare at him.

Blaine wasn't sure if he was just dazzled by the surrounding neon signs and traffic lights or the silver eyeshadow glistening around Kurt's eyes or if it was the sight of tears moistening the blue shade of his former lover's eyes, but suddenly Blaine felt like dying. Nothing in the world mattered anymore. He just needed Kurt's forgiveness and his love.

"Whatever Andrew is or isn't able to give me doesn't concern you, Blaine," Kurt finally said in a softer tone.

"But it does!" Blaine protested fiercely. "Because I care about you, Kurt! I really, really care about you." Blaine pleaded with his eyes for Kurt to trust him again.

Suddenly a car drove past him close enough to make Blaine jump and grab Kurt's arms with fright. "And right now I want both of us to safely reach the other side of this street!" he exclaimed.

Kurt's lips curled up and a smile mellowed his face.

Blaine looked up in surprise as his ex-boyfriend grasped his hand and walked ahead, navigating Blaine through the New York traffic, confidently signing cars to hit brakes for them and ignoring impatient honking.

Blaine hurried along and with Kurt's hand firmly holding his own Blaine felt safe and hopeful.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! :)**

**Next chapter: _Babylon!_ **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you everyone for your encouraging reviews! Your love for this story makes me really happy! :) I hope you like this chapter, it's a cute one. **

**And yes, **_**Babylon**_** is inspired by **_**Queer As Folk**_**. I just love love **_**love**_** that show!**

**A BIG HUG and THANK YOU goes to **_**HarmonyLover**_** for doing an excellent beta job again.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Kurt let go of Blaine's hand as soon as they reached the other side of the four-lane street. They had to walk a few more steps to reach the entrance of _Babylon_.

They met Andrew a few feet away from the door, smoking a cigarette which he quickly flicked away as he saw Kurt approaching. He was with two other good-looking guys who greeted Kurt with kisses on the cheek. Andrew wanted to kiss Kurt hello on the mouth, but Kurt leaned away.

"Drew! I'm not kissing you when you smell like a smokestack," he hissed at him.

Andrew's friends laughed loudly. "You better watch out, Drew! Kitty Kurt has his claws out again tonight!"

Kurt ignored the comment and introduced Blaine to them. Blaine shook their hands, but forgot their names instantly. However, he didn't forget the look they gave him.

"_This_ is your ex?" one of them asked Kurt, sounding weirdly surprised. The two of them seized Blaine up with judging faces. Blaine took a guess that Andrew had told them all about his cheating nature already. Also he felt like they were wondering how on earth it was possible that a perfect, amazing, and sexy elf-like human being like Kurt had ever been with an awkward little hobbit like him.

"Don't forget your ID, kiddo." With a condescending grin Andrew slipped Blaine a card. It read that he was a twenty-nine year old PuertoRican student. The picture showed a cappuccino-skinned guy with wild black curly hair and a beard.

"It's the only ID I could get that looks like you," Andrew said and nudged Blaine's shoulder.

"This doesn't look like me at all!" Blaine protested.

Kurt peeked at the picture and chuckled. "Good, because if you looked like this they wouldn't let you in." He met Blaine's eyes with a sweet smile. "Don't worry, it'll work."

"Let's go inside," Andrew ushered them to the entrance. "We're just in time for happy hour. Drinks are half off until midnight."

"I don't drink," Blaine announced.

"Suit yourself," Andrew replied with a shrug.

It was loud and hot inside of the club. Blaine could already feel the beat of the music coming from the dance room vibrating on the foyer floor.

Blaine followed the small group to the cloakroom**,** where he left his jacket with the staff member. "Please, treat it very carefully," he instructed, worrying about Kurt's CD in the inside pocket of his jacket.

"Hey cutie," one of Andrew's friends stepped up next to him. "Just want to say that if you were my boyfriend I'd forgive you any sidestep. A word of advice? Always make it a threesome so your boyfriend doesn't feel left out." He gave Blaine a wink. "Want me to show you the restrooms later?"

Blaine smiled politely. "Thanks, but I'm sure I'll find my way around here by myself."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you will," the guy said, giggling. "But if you need a hand my offer stands."

Blaine turned around and saw Kurt shrugging out of his black coat, and again Blaine was stunned by how incredible perfect his ex looked.

Kurt was wearing a long-sleeved silver top that was hugging his slender body like a second skin, glittering in the dim light of the foyer. Along with the black eyeliner and glittery eye shadow, his outfit made him look mysterious and inapproachable.

A light scarf with silver skulls was wrapped around his neck, and a black vest with a scissor pin above the heart completed the ensemble.

"I love the scissor pin," Blaine blurted out before he could stop himself. "It's the same you wore back when we had this stupid fight after going to _Scandals_ and we made up in the auditorium."

Which had also been the night they had made love for the first time.

"Really?" Kurt blinked like he couldn't remember.

"Yes, really," Blaine replied. "How can you not remember this? I still remember _everything_ from that night."

Kurt's eyes widened at him like, _shut up_.

"What are you talking about?" Andrew had caught part of their conversation.

"The premiere night of our high school musical," Kurt explained with a slight shrug.

"High school musical?" Andrew repeated. "What did you do?"

"_West Side Story_," Kurt said, making it sound utterly boring.

"Cool. Which part did you play?" Andrew put his arm around Kurt's back.

"I didn't perform," Kurt lied.

"He did an amazing rendition of Officer Krupke," Blaine said at the same time.

Andrew laughed. "Oh yeah, that fits! Kurt loves to yell out orders, don't you, babe?" He leaned in to kiss him, but Kurt turned his face away.

"What did we just talk about five minutes ago?" Kurt said, sounding annoyed. "I'll give you a hint: smoking and kissing?"

Andrew looked at him like a beaten dog and then shrugged. "All right, how about I'm going to drown out my smoky breath with some alcohol?"

"Whatever," Kurt replied and took a step across the foyer. Andrew caught his arm. "Wait, Krupke!"

"Drew!" Kurt raised his finger at him. "If you start calling me _that_..."

"I'm just kidding, babe," Andrew chuckled with a mischevious grin. "You should leave the vest," he instructed. "It makes you look chubby."

With another roll of his eyes Kurt shrugged the vest off and left it at the cloakroom.

"I'd say he's the bossy one," Blaine observed in a murmur.

"He just knows what looks best," Kurt replied. "Being advertising executive he's got an eye for beauty."

"Yes, I do." Andrew wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist, pulling him near and showing off. "And you're my favorite accessory."

Kurt laughed at that. But the truth was that the silver top indeed made him stand out in the crowd. Everybody turned their heads to catch a glimpse of the shiny diamont in their midst.

They sauntered to the dance room and the volume increased. Blaine tried not to pull a face. The music was plain awful. Not as terrible as the music in the car, but still a great deal of awful. How was one supposed to dance to this _thumpa-thumpa-thumpa_?

Blaine didn't know how to survive this night with the prospect of having to watch Kurt laugh at Andrew's stupid jokes and at the same time being deafened by mindless electronic music.

They went through a cheesy thick red curtain and entered the main dance room of _Babylon_. Blaine didn't know what he had expected of this place, but his expectations were instantlyexceeded**.**

This place was nothing like the small stuffy gay bar _Scandals_ in West Lima. This was big and loud and crowded with young good-looking men in tight clothing. Everybody was checking out everybody else. Blaine could practically feel hungry eyes lingering on him, and it gave him the creeps.

How could Kurt feel at ease in this crowd? But as he watched his ex Blaine knew the answer. Kurt had become a gay bar superstar. He just melted into the crowd; several guys greeted him with kisses on the cheek or a quick squeeze. Blaine was blown away by Kurt's presence and his confidence.

Andrew led them through the crowd towards the bar. As they waited for the barkeeper to notice them, the DJ put on a mixed version of Katy Perry's _Peacock_, making the dancing crowd cheer and sing along at the top of their lungs.

Blaine pulled a face. _Peacock_ had never been a song he'd really liked. It fitted into this crowd, however.

Andrew leaned over to Blaine, talking loudly over the music. "As if the DJ saw you coming in!"

Blaine looked up at him in confusion. "Excuse me?"

Andrew put his right arm around Blaine's shoulders. "You're the Katy Perry lover, aren't you?"

"How would you know?" Blaine asked, irritated. He didn't like for The Boyfriend to lean so close to him. Also, he disliked that Andrew thought he knew him inside out when in fact he knew nothing about him at all.

Andrew pointed to Kurt with a laugh. "He talks a lot when he's drunk!"

"I don't get drunk," Kurt protested, standing to Andrew's left. "I still remember everything crystal clear the next day, unlike other people."

"If you say so, baby," Andrew teased. "Do you still remember that one time you threw up on the dance floor when they played another Katy Perry song?"

"I didn't throw up on the dance floor," Kurt argued at once, pinching Andrew's arm. "And you don't need to tell him _that_ story. It's embarrassing."

"I think it was funny!" Andrew nudged Blaine in a confidential manner. "We were dancing and all of a sudden this song comes on and Kurt almost got sick right on the dance floor. He almost didn't make it to the restroom in time!" Now Andrew was laughing out loud.

"I had already been sick all day long," Kurt clarified. "It was the sip of your disgusting beer that made me throw up and not some stupid song."

"No, I'm sure it was the Katy Perry song," Andrew said. "I remember you telling me that you hated that song and wanted to get out of the club ASAP and on the way out you got sick. You think I forget sticking with you in a toilet stall watching you heave your guts out? Hey, if that ain't love I don't know what is!"

"I hate you for telling this, Drew," Kurt growled.

"I know," Andrew grinned at him.

"Why don't you write about it on your blog so everybody can read how disgusting I am?"

"What a great idea! I might just do that, darling," Andrew teased some more and put a kiss on Kurt's cheek. "I'm going to say hello to some guys. Can I leave you two alone for a minute?"

Kurt just rolled his eyes at Andrew's departure.

"Don't say a word," Kurt warned Blaine with a raised hand.

"I wasn't going to say anything," Blaine replied. He didn't think it was funny that listening to _Teenage Dream _made Kurt sick. Literally.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Suddenly there was a tall blonde guy standing in front of Blaine, clearly hitting on him.

"I... uhm..." Blaine got flustered, staring at the pink tank top the guy was wearing.

"He's not interested," Kurt said coolly, stepping up closer to Blaine.

"I wasn't talking to you," the guy said, cocking his head at Kurt and then adressed Blaine with a questioning look.

"No, thanks," Blaine stuttered.

"Told you so," Kurt smirked at the guy and leaned back against the counter.

The blonde guy shot Blaine a last smile. "Maybe later, sweetie."

"Thanks," Blaine said to Kurt after the guy had vanished in the crowd.

"The best way to make guys interested in you is playing hard to get," Kurt told him with a wink. "I bet he'll be following you around tonight."

"Great," Blaine muttered. He wasn't here to flirt around.

"I told you you're an eye catcher," Kurt said.

"Me?" Blaine said, following Kurt willingly away from the bar. "Everybody's staring at _you_."

Kurt just laughed at that.

But Blaine had already decided that it was true. Yes, Kurt had become a gay bar superstar. He was gorgeous and beautiful, he was a shiny diamont in this glittery world. All eyes were on him, but nobody dared to hit on him, because his perfection was too intimidating.

"Come on, let's hit the dance floor." Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm and pulled him along.

Caught in the middle of a hundred dancing and sweating bodies, Kurt let go of Blaine and lifted his hands above his head, swaying his hips to the beat of the music. In the center of the dance floor the music was deafening, making any conversation difficult. So Blaine concentrated on watching his dance partner; he couldn't take his eyes off of Kurt anyway. He tried to get into the rhythmn, too, but he couldn't get his limbs to move as flowingly as Kurt.

Soon Blaine smiled about Kurt's adorable quirks, like the way he was wiggling his shoulders and doing his jazz hands. Good to see that some things never changed.

"See someone you like?" Kurt asked him after a while, his voice raised while his eyes were scanning the crowd for cute men.

"Yes!" Blaine answered, not taking his eyes off of Kurt.

Kurt caught his glance to see whom Blaine was checking out.

"Where?" Kurt asked when Blaine's eyes still were on him.

"Right here!" Blaine replied.

When Kurt finally got the hint, he bowed his head and smiled a smile that Blaine would happily die for.

"Still the charmer!" Kurt shouted back with a grin.

The DJ surprised them by putting on a slow record, a bittersweet pop song, making everybody slow down. Couples found each other on the dance floor to drown into each other's eyes while groping one another.

The two of them were shifting their feet awkwardly, not knowing what to do without the dancy beat. Kurt gazed around the place as if looking for someone. That someone being Andrew.

Before Kurt could find The Boyfriend and abandon Blaine on the dance floor, Blaine took a bold step forward and extended his hand.

"May I have this dance?"

He felt brave for asking, more so than he had felt at junior prom when he had offered his hand to a Kurt wearing a kilt and a crown, a Kurt who had just been abandoned by Karofsky on the dance floor, a Kurt who had felt humiliated and kept a straight face anyway.

Blaine felt just as brave for asking for this dance as he had felt back then. With the only difference that tonight Blaine didn't fear rejection from the surrounding crowd, but from Kurt.

Kurt turned to face him with a look of bafflement and recognition brightening up his glow.

Then he stepped closer.

"Yes," he said with a cute grin that had Blaine travel back in time like nothing else. "Yes, you may."

Kurt took the hand Blaine offered him and Blaine placed his left hand on Kurt's hip. But this standard dance position seemed out of place for a discotheque. Kurt broke out into a grin. "Wait, let's just..." Kurt guided Blaine's hands to rest on Kurt's hips, then he put his hands loosely around Blaine's shoulders.

"There, that's better." Kurt smiled closed-mouthed.

"Much better," Blaine agreed and showed him his teeth.

_All along it was a fever__  
__A cold sweat hot-headed believer_

Blaine finally recognized the song as _Stay_ from Rihanna, but it was a remix, which was just perfect since remixes usually lasted longer than the original songs. Now that he held Kurt in his arms, he wanted this moment to last forever.

_I threw my hands in the air  
I said show me something__  
__He said, if you dare come a little closer__  
_

They moved slowly, looking into each other's eyes cautiously as if afraid of what they might see there - but also hopeful to find something that could reconnect them. Finally Blaine relaxed and found it very easy holding Kurt's gaze as if they were alone in the world.

_Round and around and around and around we go__  
__Ohhh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know__  
_

They only shuffled their feet slightly, swaying and turning around slowly.

"Do you remember Prom?" Kurt asked. Blaine was staring at his mouth, loving the way his lips moved.

"Sorry?" Blaine shouted over the music, straining his ears to catch Kurt's words.

Kurt shifted closer until their bodies were touching, which Blaine didn't mind at all.

"Dinosaur Prom?" Kurt spoke louder, one hand slipping into Blaine's hair. "You remember?"

Blaine let out a soft chuckle. As if he could ever forget. Back then his greatest and only fear had been that Kurt could see him without gelled hair and run away screaming.

"That prom started off as a nightmare, but you saved me," Blaine told his ex, smiling up at him. "Because you loved me even with my bushy hair."

"Yeah, I did," Kurt replied with a wistful smile, now draping his arms closer around Blaine's neck and playfully tugging at his curls.

_Not really sure how to feel about it_

Blaine cleared his throat, because his voice had become hoarse. "I'm longing for the days when my only concern was you seeing me without hair gel."

"Me, too," Kurt confessed with a sad smile.

Blaine looked up, baffled. "Really?"

"Things were easier back then," Kurt replied, all serious and rueful. "Not so complicated."

"Things don't have to be complicated," Blaine countered, his voice rising with hope. "Things can be that easy again."

Kurt didn't answer.

They just stared into each other eyes and when it got to be too much, too painful, Kurt leaned in, breaking eye contact in favor of nestling his face into the side of Blaine's face, his cheek against Blaine's, and continuing to dance with him slowly, dreamily.

_Something in the way you move__  
__Makes me feel like I can't live without you_

Blaine was distracted by Kurt's fingers unconsciously playing with his curls and caressing the tender skin at the nape of his neck. He wondered if Kurt was aware of what his fingers were doing.

_It takes me all the way__  
__I want you to stay__  
_

Their bodies were touching now, from legs to middle to chest, slowly moving in circles against one another as they danced. Kurt was so incredibly close now, his breath flowing down the skin of Blaine's neck, making him shiver.

_Not really sure how to feel about it__  
__Something in the way you move__  
__Makes me feel like I can't live without you__  
_

Kurt's right hand was still caressing Blaine's neck, his long fingers combing through the soft curls, and Blaine wanted nothing more than surrender to Kurt's touch. Take him somewhere and make love to him. Kiss him oblivious, kiss him everywhere, kiss all the doubt and fear of the past year away.

_It's not much of a life you're living__  
__It's not just something you take, it's given__  
_

"I'm sorry," Kurt suddenly murmured close to Blaine's ear.

They had stopped dancing entirely. They just stood there, embracing one another tightly.

"I'm sorry, Blaine, do you hear me?"

Blaine tensed up. There was something in Kurt's voice telling him that this wasn't _sorry for stepping on your foot. _

"What for?"

Kurt cradled him closer and pressed his cheek against Blaine's. "Screwing up."

"What are you talking about?" Blaine tried to step back to be able to look into Kurt's eyes, but his ex clung to him, still refusing eye contact.

_Ohhh the reason I hold on__  
__Ohhh cause I need this hole gone__  
_

"You said you were sorry a million times already," Kurt explained, his breath hot on Blaine's ear. "But I never apologized to you once. I know I made mistakes. I wasn't there for you the way I should have been. I screwed up, and I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

"Kurt, you didn't..."

"Ssh," Kurt hushed.

_Funny you're the broken one  
But I'm the only one who needed saving__  
_

_Because when you never see the lights  
It's hard to know which one of us is caving__  
_

They stood motionless in the middle of the dancing crowd, hugging each other as if they'd break apart without holding the other one tight.

This hug was an _I love you_.

This hug was a _Never let me go!_

This hug was all Blaine needed to know.

_It takes me all the way__  
__I want you to stay, stay__  
__I want you to stay, ohhh_

The music changed into a dancy tune again and it was like the magic died away instantly. Their loving thoughts were interrupted by the fast beat of the music.

Kurt loosened his arms from around Blaine's neck and stepped out of his embrace.

Blaine felt that his own body wasn't ready for the fast beat just yet. He wanted to keep holding Kurt and dream away with him.

More than that, he wanted to talk. He didn't want to let go of this intimate moment just yet. So Blaine grabbed for Kurt's arm to get his attention and sign him to leave the dance floor, but the moment his fingers closed around Kurt's wrist, Kurt tensed up and held his arm in a protective manner, his eyes wide and panicky for just the split of a second before he relaxed again.

Blaine let go of his wrist and furrowed his brows. "Sorry!" he shouted over the music. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay!"

"Let's go and talk! Let's _talk_!" Blaine motioned for a way out of the dancing crowd, but Kurt shook his head no.

Just then Andrew appeared behind Kurt, wrapping his arms around Kurt's chest, holding up two shot glasses.

"Drink with me," Andrew cooed.

"What about your car?" Kurt asked, looking back over his shoulder at his boyfriend.

"Let's take a cab home," Andrew suggested. "I can get my car tomorrow."

"Is this cherry liquor?"

"With cinnamon flavor, your favorite," Andrew affirmed.

"Thanks. Cheers!" Kurt took the small glass and downed it in one go, pulling a face at how strong the alcohol was.

Andrew drank his shot, too, and then grabbed his boyfriend and smashed their lips together, sliding his tongue against Kurt's mouth.

Before Blaine could start feeling sick from having to watch his ex French kissing another guy in a gay bar, Kurt pulled away from Andrew.

"Drew!" Kurt shoved him off and glared at him. "I told you no making out on the dance floor!"

Kurt pointed his finger at him to keep him at bay. Andrew grabbed his wrist, and Kurt flinched slightly at his grasp.

"And I said _whatever_," Drew retorted and grinned down at his boyfriend, confident of victory.

"Do you also still remember what I told you after that?" Kurt looked at him with a stern expression and jerked his arm out of Andrew's grasp.

Blaine was irritated by the weird tension between them. They were glaring each other down.

Andrew raised his hands in defeat. "Sorry, baby. Come on, it's just fun." Andrew tried to grab Kurt's butt, but Kurt stepped back.

"Hands off, Drew. I mean it. Your life's not a goddamn _Queer as Folk_ episode!"

"All right, all right! Whatever you want!"

With a huff, Kurt took off for an unknown destination, vanishing into the crowd.

"God, he's such a bitch!" Andrew said to Blaine with a laugh after Kurt had gone.

Blaine raised his eyebrows at that, appalled by his words. "Does he know you're calling him _that_ behind his back?"

Andrew laughed. "Oh, I'm calling him much worse to his face!"

"Lovely." Blaine shook his head.

"Come and join me at the bar," Andrew put an arm around Blaine's shoulders. "Woah, you're really small! How's the air down there?"

"Very funny."

Blaine reluctantly followed Kurt's boyfriend to the bar. He kept looking for Kurt, but his ex had disappeared.

* * *

**Songs in this chapter: **

**Rihanna – Stay **

**Thank you for reading! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello everyone! I'm blown away by all the favorites and follows I get for this story! Also I love your reviews! Thank you so much! Please keep your feedback coming my way! **

**OK, did I say at some point that this was supposed to be a rather short story? Turns out this is going to be longer than expected. There'll be three or four more chapters from Blaine's POV before I switch to Kurt's POV. Please stay with me! :)**

_**HarmonyLover**_**, a thousand kisses to you for just being awesome! :)**

**Trigger warning: alcohol misuse**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Blaine followed The Boyfriend to the bar where they sat on barstools. Andrew ordered a beer and raised a skeptical brow at Blaine's order of a diet coke.

"Say, how long did you date Kurt?" Andrew asked, sitting close to Blaine and watching him attentively. "More than three months?"

Blaine braced himself for the interrogation Kurt had warned him about.

"Yes," Blaine answered. "Far longer than three months." The exact number of wonderful months, days and hours he had spent with Kurt was none of this guy's business.

"Okay, then tell me one thing," Andrew leaned closer. "I really need to know this and since you're the only one he's been with before me – at least that's what Rachel assured me was true – well, looks like you're the only one I can ask this, all right?"

Blaine put on an indifferent face, stirring the straw in his glass of coke. He wasn't going to tell this guy anything personal about Kurt. Even if Kurt hadn't asked him not to blab away, Blaine wouldn't have talked about his ex with the new boyfriend. Still, he was curious what Andrew was so interested in.

"Go on." He gave a little wave of his hand.

Andrew took another sip of his beer and put the bottle down before locking eyes with Blaine, his voice low as if not to attract eavesdroppers.

"Was Kurt that celibate and frigid with you, too?"

Blaine narrowed his eyebrows, glancing at The Boyfriend warily. "What do you mean?"

"I know he's still a virgin, all right, and I respect that," Andrew went on, oblivious to the fact that Blaine's eyes widened at his words.

"In fact I love it. I don't want to date a slut who's been through a hundred of hands already, you know what I mean? But sometimes..." The man let out a frustrated sigh. "I mean, come on, _something_ would be nice, you know, a blowjob or a freaking handjob, _anything_. All we do is kiss, but he won't make out longer than ten minutes before he runs off with some stupid excuse. I'm a patient lover, I really am, but sometimes I wonder what the hell's wrong with him? "

"Nothing's wrong with him," Blaine answered with a shrug and a sly grin. "Maybe he just doesn't feel attracted to you."

Blaine smirked to himself and ate some peanuts to hide the fact that he was astonished by Andrew's words. Kurt wouldn't even touch Andrew? Oh glory day! Blaine couldn't exactly say why this thought made him incredibly happy, except for reasons of jealousy and selfishness, but knowing that Kurt refused to make out with The Boyfriend made him want to squeal in joy. Perhaps it was the fact that this meant that Kurt didn't trust Andrew yet enough to get intimate with him. Of course, Blaine was happy that Kurt wasn't that emotionally involved with someone new.

Then again it was a bit of a weird behavoir.

For one, Kurt wasn't a virgin anymore. They had shared their first time together and lots of wonderful times after that. They had loved exploring each other's bodies, touching and kissing one another all over. Kurt had enjoyed anything they had done, so why wouldn't he want to explore the same pleasure with his new boyfriend?

"Nah, I don't think that's it," Andrew pursed his lips in contemplation. "I guess he's just incredibly shy. Was he like that with you, too?"

"Sorry, but I definitely won't share any details of our sex lives with you," Blaine said with a smirk.

"So there has been a sex life?" Andrew dug deeper.

"We were teenagers and each other's first boyfriends, what do you think?" Blaine said with a laugh, grinning broadly, because so many wonderful happy and sexy memories were floating through his head.

In the beginning of their relationship it had been Blaine's idea not to _travel south of the equator_, because he didn't want to rush Kurt. He still had his friend's adorable_ A touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets_ speech vividly in mind.

But once they'd finally taken that step it had been amazing. They had developed an insatiable hunger for one another. Blaine's body had started yearing for Kurt's touch, and Kurt had become just as eager to share every possible moment together to fool around with him.

Some people might say that they had just been two horny teenagers, but Blaine knew that wasn't true. Sex with Kurt had been special, it had always meant something, because there had been so much love and trust involved. A trust that Blaine had betrayed.

Seeing Kurt again had only deepened Blaine's conviction that they were meant for each other. Even after all these months apart his love for Kurt was still strong and growing with each time they met. Blaine wasn't surprised to find that his desire for his ex was still alive and it was burning him up.

"What did you do to get him out of his frozen state?" Andrew asked curiously.

Blaine arched his eyebrows in disbelief. Was The Boyfriend really asking him for advice on how to get Kurt horny?

"You're not seriously asking me for relationship advice, are you?"

"Oh, right. You guys broke up, so it's probably no good asking you," Andrew pondered, stroking a hand along his chin. "What was the reason that you cheated on Kurt anyway? I can totally understand that you would get frustrated with him if you had to beg for sex all of the time, but I have no sympathy for cheaters. If you get sick of your boyfriend you should break up with him first and then go and look for another. That's the only fair thing to do."

"It wasn't about sex," Blaine said defensively. "Kurt had already moved to New York and we were trying this long distance relationship thing, but I failed. I felt stuck while he was out exploring an exciting new world. Yeah, I send him on his way, but I hadn't considered that I would feel like he was moving on with his life and I was just a bystander and not a part of it anymore. I just felt so lonely without him. I know it doesn't make sense that I cheated on him when I wanted nothing more than be with him and..."

Blaine stopped talking. He felt sick by all the guilty feelings that threatened to overwhelm him once again. Also, he bit down hard on his lips to keep himself from pouring his heart out to The Goddamn Boyfriend of all people.

"Mmh," Andrew mused and sipped his beer.

"I hate distance relationships," he said. "I don't trust anyone to stay faithful when there's half the country in between. I guess this explains why Kurt's got trust issues," Andrew continued, voicing his observation, and then laughed. "Well, at least I know he's not getting some action elsewhere. But I can tell you it's really no fun jerking off alone in the shower when such a beauty's around."

Blaine's stomach churned.

"So, did Kurt have any unusual sexual preferences?"

Blaine narrowed his eyes at Andrew. "I beg your pardon?" he said rather unfriendly.

"Like, did he like it rough?" Andrew specified his question.

"Okay, stop talking like that, all right?" Blaine raised his hands and shook his head in disgust. "I don't like how you talk about him as if he's a piece of meat. Kurt is the most moral and compassionate person I've ever met. He's caring and sweet and adorable and..."

Andrew started laughing out loud.

Blaine wanted to strangle him. "What's so funny?"

"Are you sure we're talking about the same person?" Andrew asked with a grin. "The Kurt I know has a sassy mouth, a bitchy attitude, and is a total control freak. I love it! I'm so digging his craziness. God, he must be a freak in bed! I can't wait to find out."

For a moment Blaine was lost for words.

Kurt was anything but rough and aggressive or demanding. Kurt had always been sweet and gentle when they'd been together, but also eager to explore the different kinds of pleasure they were able to give each other. They had teased each other, but always in a loving and playful kind of way. Whatever they had done together, it had always involved so much happiness and trust and love. Kurt was a romantic and not a _freak_.

"Are you saying you're just with Kurt, because you want to find out how he's in bed?" Blaine asked with another shake of his head. "And what after that? Are you going to dump him?"

"Boy, no need to get upset," Andrew chuckled at Blaine's fierce reaction. "Don't get me wrong, I'm really into Kurt. I love me a good mystery. With him I never know what's going on in his head. It's so much fun to tease him and see how he reacts. But I wish he'd open up more. You know, I'm an open book and he's this puzzle I can't figure out."

Blaine frowned. He had known Kurt inside out. They had talked about everything right from the start. They had been best friends and confidants before they became boyfriends and lovers. They had shared their fears and their dreams; they had shared everything.

Andrew ordered another beer and a colorful cocktail with a small umbrella. He took the drinks and gave Blaine a sly grin. "Excuse me, but I've got to find my missing puzzle piece."

Andrew went straight for the stairway leading up to the landing.

Blaine followed him with his eyes and found Kurt upstairs. His ex was leaning against the railing around the upper level, chatting with some lanky blond guy who was wearing glasses and a foolish but happy grin.

Blaine narrowed his eyes in surprise, because Kurt seemed to be excitedly talking to that boy. In fact, Kurt looked totally at ease and comfortable in this guy's company. Whoever this nerdy boy in the green cardigan and plaid pants was, Blaine already liked and envied him, because he was able to make Kurt laugh.

Blaine watched as Andrew approached Kurt from behind, presenting the cocktail over Kurt's shoulder and drawing him into an embrace at the same time. Immediately Kurt's expression changed and he slightly turned away from his nerdy friend.

The boy with the glasses stepped aside without complaining, as if he was used to the interruption.

Andrew didn't seem to acknowledge the boy at all.

"Alone?"

Blaine jumped. He had been so lost in his observation of the ongoings up on the landing that he didn't notice the guy who had snuck up beside him.

Blaine turned to see that it was the guy in the pink tank top. It seemed that Kurt had been right about the guy following him around tonight.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Pink Tank Top said with a laugh. "Do you want to dance now?"

"No, thanks," Blaine said with an apologetic smile.

"Are you sure?" Pink Tank Top asked, tilting his head slightly. "You look like you need someone to take you by the hand."

Blaine sighed. Rachel had warned him about his unintentional puppy appeal. "Don't look like a lost puppy," she'd warned him. "Or the wolves will be all over you!" He wasn't deliberately doing it, but Rachel had assured him that he looked like a lost puppy most of the time.

"I'm fine, thank you," Blaine replied. "I'm waiting for a friend."

He gazed up again and found that Kurt and Andrew were gone. Instantly Blaine scanned the crowd, but to no avail. However, the nerdy boy that Kurt had talked to was still standing at the railing that looked down to the dancing floor.

"I can keep you company while you wait," Pink Tank Top offered, fingering the collar of Blaine's shirt. "I can help you make him jealous."

"Thanks for the offer, but I need to make him trust me again," Blaine explained and brushed the other guy's hand away in a polite manner. "It won't do me any good if he sees me walking around with a pretty face by my side."

"Oh, thank you, sweetie," the blond guy cooed, pressing a hand to his heart.

Blaine hurried upstairs.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello my lovely readers! ****Thank you for your reviews! I really appreciate your feedback!**

**To clear things up: Andrew and Kurt live together, but they don't have sex. Also, Andrew doesn't rape Kurt. This is NOT a rape story. Andrew respects Kurt's wish not to be intimate. **

**This chapter introduces a special guest. I hope you all like him. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

On the upper level the music wasn't as deafening as down on the dance floor. There were little separees and comfy leather couches to lounge in everywhere. Still, Kurt was nowhere to be seen.

Curiously Blaine stepped up to the boy with the short blond hair and big glasses.

"Hi, excuse me, I was wondering..."

"Thanks, but I'm not interested," the boy said without letting Blaine finish his sentence, and he eyed Blaine warily. "I don't do hookups, sorry."

Blaine's eyes widened at the realization that the boy thought he was hitting on him.

"Uhm, no, actually I don't mean to hook up with you..."

"No?" the boy asked, surprised, but at the same time utterly relieved. "I mean, not that I get many offers for hookups in here anyway, but what else could you want from me?"

"How about talk?" Blaine replied with a sweet grin.

"Wow, that's a first," the boy said, now turning his attention fully to Blaine with a bright smile. "The guys in here usually aren't interested in talking."

"Sorry, I don't know the etiquette yet. It's my first time at _Babylon_ tonight," Blaine explained. "I just saw you talking to Kurt Hummel, and I wondered whether you knew him well."

Instantly the boy tensed up and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Blaine. "Yes, I know him. But you'd better not try to hit on him, because he's got a boyfriend."

"Yeah, I know. I'm a friend of Kurt from back in Lima, where he comes from," Blaine explained.

"OH MY GOD!" the boy called out, grabbed both Blaine's arms jumping up and down. "You're a friend of Kurt's? I've been _dying_ to meet someone who knows him! I mean, obviously there are a lot of guys in here who know him, but they don't really _know_ him, and I desperately wanted to meet a friend of Kurt from back from Ohio! Besides, you can't really make friends in this club, this is just about hookups and showing off, it's _cra_-_hazy_! Gosh, sorry, if I talk too loud. When I get excited, I tend to start yelling!"

"It's okay," Blaine replied with a timid smile, a little frightened of the guy's overexcited reaction. "It's good to see that there are some normal guys in here. Normal in the sense of feeling awkward and irritated by all the sex in the air. I'm Blaine, by the way."

"So nice to meet you!" The nerdy guy with the big glasses took Blaine's hand and shook it, in fact he shook Blaine's whole arm up and down. "I'm Chandler."

"You're... you're _Chandler_?" Blaine asked in astonishment, a weird feeling rising inside of him. "How do you know Kurt, if I may ask?"

"I met him at a music store back in Lima more than a year ago," Chandler explained excitedly. "I'm from Ohio, too, you know. Gosh, meeting Kurt was love at first sight. Well, my sight that is. He's sooo amazing! I'm a big, _big_ fan of his outstanding voice and his great fashion sense. I want to run his official fan club when he gets famous!"

Blaine smiled. He got it. Chandler was an admirer of Kurt's talent. He wanted to support Kurt in achieving his dreams, not become his boyfriend.

To tell the truth, Blaine had never seen a picture of the music store boy who had bombarded Kurt with flirty texts. In his head he had always pictured this tall, gorgeous musician guy wooing Kurt. In fact, he had painted a guy looking a lot like Andrew. Kurt's repeated assertions that Chandler had never been a love interest hadn't reassured Blaine at all.

Finally meeting the boy Kurt had flirt-texted with made Blaine feel like a jealous idiot. The real Chandler was rather cute in comparison to the rival Blaine had pictured in his head.

"Do you come here often?" Blaine asked.

"Nah, _Babylon_ isn't really my kind of scene. I just come here to see Kurt," Chandler confessed, then in the next second his eyes widened. "Oh, that makes me sound like a creepy stalker! I'm not in _love_ love with him. Okay, maybe a little bit, I mean how is it possible _not_ to be in love with him? He's _ah-mazing_!"

Blaine nodded in agreement and showed a bright smile. "How about we sit down somewhere?"

"Yeah, absolutely! I _need_ to talk to you about Kurt!" Chandler pulled Blaine towards a free lounge place. They settled across of each other into armchairs with a low table dividing them.

"How well do you know Kurt?" Chandler shot his first question. "Are you a good friend?"

Blaine turned remorseful. "I'd like to think that I know him quite well," he responded. "But we haven't been in touch for almost a year, so I've missed a lot of his current life."

Chandler nodded with a severe face and furrowed forehead.

"I only got in contact with him again a couple of weeks ago," Chandler explained. "You see, when I first met Kurt back in Lima we started text messaging each other. It was so much fun, but then he told me to stop texting, because his boyfriend got jealous. Then about four or three months ago I started texting him again, just to know if he had made it to New York and how he's doing. He only texted back occasionally and refused to meet me; well, he always had an excuse not to meet me. Then he told me that his boyfriend wouldn't let him meet other guys and I thought, great, so he's still with that jealous twat!"

Chandler let out a dramatic sigh, and continued talking like a waterfall, not giving Blaine a chance to process all this information.

"Have you met his boyfriend?" Chandler asked, and when Blaine nodded he went right on. "He's a jerk, don't you agree? I started coming to _Babylon_, because Kurt had told me that he was here every Friday night. His boyfriend even got me a fake ID, but he totally ignores me. Andrew, that is, not Kurt. Perhaps I'm not interesting enough to be worthy of his time." Chandler rolled his eyes. "Luckily, he doesn't mind me talking to Kurt; clearly he doesn't see me as a threat. Gosh, I just hope Kurt breaks up with that guy someday, but what are the odds? I mean he's been with his boyfriend for so long now and they even live together."

"Wait," Blaine interrupted him, holding up a hand. "You think that Kurt's current boyfriend is the same guy he was with back in Lima?"

"Yeah, that jealous idiot who wouldn't even let him text me. Apparently they moved to New York together."

"Uhm, no, actually, that jealous idiot back then was me," Blaine admitted sheepishly.

"Huh?" Chandler was confused.

"I was Kurt's boyfriend back in Lima," Blaine explained. "I was the one who got all upset about you texting him. But we... we broke up shortly after he'd moved to New York."

"Oh," Chandler said, looking a bit uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you a jealous twat."

Blaine made a grimace. "Well, I guess I was exactly that. To tell the truth, I was scared of losing Kurt and I had panicked, because he was about to leave to New York and... when I learned that he had exchanged texts with you I just turned all _Hulk_ on him." Blaine shrugged helplessly.

"What happened?" Chandler asked, fascinated by Blaine's story. "You didn't break up because of my texts, did you?"

"No," Blaine said, gulping and avoiding Chandler's eyes. "It had nothing to do with you."

"Gee, I'm glad. What a story! And here I was thinking this stupid Andrew was Kurt's everlasting high school sweetheart."

Blaine shook his head. "From what I learned he's only been dating Andrew for about three months."

"Oh, that's not very long," Chandler remarked. "Now that I think about it Kurt couldn't have met Andrew at high school, because he's already twenty-something. Did Andrew get you a fake ID, too?"

"Yeah, he did," Blaine got his ID out and showed it. "Apparently he thought this picture was funny."

Chandler laughed at the picture and produced his own ID out of his pocket. "Look at mine. It's a black and white picture of Buddy Holly. Andrew claims there's a striking resemblance."

"I really don't like that guy," Blaine muttered. "Andrew that is, not Buddy Holly."

"Welcome to the club," Chandler said with a sigh.

"So, you only have been seeing Kurt in here?"

"Yeah, every Friday night for the past five weeks," Chandler confirmed and leaned forward confidentially. "Say, can I speak openly with you?"

"Sure," Blaine replied, leaning towards the other.

"I'm worried about Kurt," Chandler said with sincere eyes.

Immediately Blaine tensed up. He could tell from the sound of Chandler's voice that this wasn't _I'm worried about Kurt being involved with someone who hands out fake IDs. _

This was something serious.

"I'm listening," Blaine prompted when Chandler wouldn't go on.

"I don't know how to put it into words," Chandler started, twisting the seam of his cardigan in his hands. "It's like, when he talks to me he sounds so overjoyed and excited, but it's kind of fake and I think that he puts on a show, because the truth is that he's unhappy. Do you know what I mean? Also, he keeps on lying to me about his real situation."

"His real situation?" Blaine prompted, furrowing his brows.

"Yes, like he keeps telling me that he's a star at NYADA, but I have found out that he's not a student there. I mean, he's telling me all these amazing stories about which songs he's rehearsing at NYADA and how great it is there, but I know it's a lie."

"He really told you that he's a NYADA student?" Blaine was confused. Why would Kurt make up fake stories about being at NYADA when he claimed to everyone else that he had outgrown his Broadway dreams?

"Yes," Chandler confirmed and listed some of the things Kurt had told him about his life as a NYADA student. Blaine recognized all the assignments and projects as current things that Rachel was constantly talking about. It seemed like Kurt only repeated what was going on in Rachel's life, claiming it to be his own.

"When he talks about NYADA he's so passionate and happy about it, and I can see his eyes shine. That's why I didn't tell him that I know it's a lie." Chandler shrugged helplessly. "I don't know what to do or how to reach him. There's no one I can talk to about my concerns, because I don't even know where Kurt lives or who his friends are. He's not on Facebook either. That's why I was hoping to finally meet a friend of his, someone who knew him and could tell me to stop worrying."

Chandler gestured towards Blaine. "So this is the cue for you to assure me he's all right and I worry too much."

Blaine bit down on his lips. "The truth is I don't know," he admitted. "I hope he's all right, but I worry about him, too."

Chandler's face fell. "Shit. I was dreading this kind of answer. Do you have any idea how we can help him or at least get him to tell us what's bothering him?"

"Brutal honesty," Blaine muttered, more to himself than replying to Chandler's question.

"What do you mean?"

"Call him out on his lies," Blaine suggested. "He's not the type for lying. In fact he hates liars. I don't know why he's started lying to everybody, but it's not like him at all. We should simply ask him."

"You make it sound so easy," Chandler said. "I'm afraid that he might turn away from me and refuse to talk to me ever again."

"If we want to help him, we must take that risk," Blaine said, sounding more confident than he actually felt. However, after the way Kurt had danced with him Blaine was sure that Kurt wouldn't kick him out of his life again if Blaine insisted on staying.

"Who's taking a risk on what?"

Blaine flinched slightly when Kurt suddenly appeared at their table.

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**Thank you for reading! :)**

******Please keep your reviews coming my way! I love to hear from you! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**All my darling readers, I meant to release this chapter at the end of this week, but what's the point in keeping you waiting when it's already done? So here we go! :)**

**I hope you guys like drunk!Kurt, because I find him quite adorable, BUT drinking alcohol is not healthy, especially not the way Kurt does it in this chapter and it'll get worse, so please be aware of the trigger warnings for this story! Thank you! **

**Trigger warning: alcohol misuse!**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

"Who's taking a risk on what?"

Kurt was standing right next to the couch Blaine was lounging in. He had one arm wrapped around his middle, grasping his right elbow and casually holding up a cocktail glass. His blue eyes looked a little hazy as he glanced from Chandler to Blaine inquiringly.

"Honesty," Blaine answered truthfully. "We're talking about the risk of being honest."

With a skeptically raised eyebrow Kurt looked from Blaine to Chandler and back again. "You guys aren't playing Truth Or Dare, are you?"

Blaine chuckled at the idea. "No, we aren't."

"Good! Mind if I join you?" Kurt asked with an audible slur in his voice. He was undoubtedly tipsy.

Kurt sat down next to Blaine on the couch, close, arms and legs touching, and leaned into him. He crossed his legs, holding his cocktail glass in one hand, the other hand resting casually on Blaine's knee as he began to talk.

"I see you've met Chandler," Kurt drawled with a smile. "He's the guy who wanted to make my voice his ringtone!"

"I still do!" Chandler chirped up, grinning.

Kurt made a cute _awww_-sound. "You know I'm a sucker for flattery, Chandler."

"It's easy to give you compliments, because you're just perfect," Chandler replied in an admiring voice. "I'll never be as talented or as fashionable as you."

"Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion!" Kurt declared happily, spreading his arms out in a posing manner and accidentally spilling some of his cocktail over Blaine's pants.

"Oops, sorry, love." Kurt grabbed a napkin from a nearby holder and brushed it over Blaine's leg.

"I'm fine, Kurt," Blaine said, clasping Kurt's hand into his own to make him stop moving his hand over his thigh.

"Gee, I'm such a klutz," Kurt said, looking down at their joined hands for a long second before freeing his hand out of Blaine's grasp. He crumbled the napkin and threw it on the table. "Just shoot me, please."

"No one gets shot!" Chandler declared earnestly as if he was establishing the ground rules.

Kurt giggled at Chandler's words and leaned heavily against Blaine.

Again, Blaine felt dizzy by Kurt's closeness. To distract himself he concentrated on staring at Kurt's black boots, instantly being mesmerized by them. They were the highest knee-high boots he'd ever seen, even completely covering the knees. When Kurt bent his knees the leather stuck out in a triangle. And the laces, dear Lord, there were so many tiny hooks, it had to take Kurt at least an hour to lace up these boots.

"You know, I'm surprised to learn that Blaine is your ex-boyfriend," Chandler suddenly spoke up. "The one who told you to stop texting me. I didn't know that he's such a handsome and nice guy."

"Yeah, he's even more impressive in the flesh!" Kurt said proudly and patted Blaine's knee affectionately.

Blaine swallowed and tried not to read too much into Kurt's behavior. It didn't mean anything that Kurt sat this close to him or that his hand was still resting on his knee. It didn't mean anything, no matter how much he wanted it to mean something. Kurt was just being casual, because he was drunk.

"How many cocktails did you have already, Kurt?" Blaine asked, sounding unintentionally patronizing.

"Never enough!" Kurt replied like a sulky kid. "Come on, try it! It's deee-licious." Kurt offered the straw of his cocktail to Blaine.

Blaine hesitated, but then he took a sip. The drink was sickenly sweet, but also with a lot of alcohol in it that made Blaine pull a face.

"And?" Kurt prompted.

"It's way too sweet," Blaine replied with a shrug.

"Awww," Kurt said in a cute voice, tilting his head. "Just like you are."

Blaine's heart skipped a beat. Was Kurt flirting with him? Again?

"So, what have you guys been talking about?" Kurt asked casually, looking across the table at Chandler.

"Well, to tell the _truth_," Chandler started, locking eyes with Blaine for a second before continuing, "we talked about the fact that you're not a NYADA student."

Blaine cringed. Did Chandler have to get straight to the point? When he had talked about confronting Kurt with the truth he had meant doing it carefully and gently and not attacking him with it.

"Oh, great!" Kurt called out with a laugh. "You really can't keep your mouth shut, Blaine, can you? First you tell Andrew that I played the stupid underpart of Officer Krupke in our school musical and now you tell Chandler that I'm not a NYADA student. Anything else you want to spill? Here's your chance! Tell them all what a loser I am!"

With a shake of his head Kurt let out a bitter laugh and took another sip of his cocktail.

"You're not a loser, Kurt," Blaine countered, baffled that Kurt thinks of himself that way. "You did an amazing rendition of Krupke, and I'm sure you would have gotten into Juilliard or any other school of the arts if only you'd applied and not given up."

"Blaine didn't spill anything," Chandler quickly helped him out. "I already suspected that you weren't in NYADA for a couple of weeks now," Chandler confessed with a shrug. "I don't mind that you lied to me about it; I'm just wondering why."

"I'm sorry I lied to you, Chandler," Kurt said, his confident manner crumbling. "When we met again you were so enthusiastic and so positive that I had made it into NYADA. I just couldn't tell you the truth and see your disappointment. I didn't want you to think I was a failure. Well, now you know. I'm sorry I pretended to be something I'm not. It was just really nice living out a fantasy and have you think I was special. Well, I'm not."

"But you _are_ special, Kurt," Chandler said passionately. "So you didn't get into NYADA? So what? It doesn't mean that you're not amazingly talented. It's their loss. Why don't you apply to NYU? They have a great musical theatre program."

"Thank you, Chandler, you're really sweet, but this chapter of my life is closed," Kurt said, downing the rest of his drink.

"Then why do you still fantasize about it?" Blaine pointed out. "Looks to me like you still want to follow that dream."

"Why do you care what I'm still fantasizing about?" Kurt snapped. "Don't you grant me a little daydreaming?"

"I grant you more than that," Blaine replied. "I want your dreams to come true. I want you to start fighting for your dreams again!"

Kurt laughed at that. First in a low chuckle, then louder, almost hysterically.

"Breathe, Kurt, breathe!" Chandler snatched a couple of napkins and fanned air towards Kurt with them.

Kurt leaned forward, hiding his face in his hands with his whole body shaking.

"Kurt, are you okay?" Blaine patted Kurt's back, because it looked like his ex was choking.

"No worries, he's just having a laughing fit." Chandler said appeasingly. "Too many of the sweet drinks, right, Kurt?"

Kurt shook his head, coughing and sputtering.

"Kurtsy, babe, get your ass up and come with me!" Andrew approached their table, motioning at Kurt to come along.

Kurt sat up straight, took a deep calming breath and frowned at his boyfriend in annoyance. "I'm sitting very comfortably here, _Drewsy_."

"Over there's the photographer I want you to meet," Andrew insisted. "The one I told you about who's doing this campaign for a magazine and looks for young new faces."

"I told you I don't want to do a stupid photo session. Who'd want to see my turtle face in a magazine anyway?"

"Come on, he's going to love you!" Andrew begged.

"In case you haven't noticed," Kurt slurred heavily, trying to keep his eyes focused on his boyfriend, "I'm not really in a condition for a business meeting."

"You don't need to talk, babe, just smile that gorgeous smile and the job is yours."

"Geez, he said no!" Blaine cut in angrily, glaring at Andrew.

Andrew crossed his arms and returned the glare.

Kurt started giggling. "Oh sweetie, I really don't need you to fight my battles for me." He squeezed Blaine's arm and then stood up, swaying. "All right, gigolo, I'm coming with you to meet the Very Important Person," Kurt said in a mocking voice.

"That's my babe!" Andrew put his arm around Kurt's waist to steady him.

Blaine watched them walk over to another man whom they greeted with big hello.

"Wow, Kurt's still into you," Chandler remarked instantly after Kurt had stumbled away. "I mean it's obvious."

Blaine looked up, surprised at the other boy's words. "He's just a little bit drunk."

"A little bit? I've never seen him drink this much before," Chandler countered. "Also, I've never seen him the way he is around you with his boyfriend before," Chandler pointed out with raised eyebrows. "Most of the time he pushes Andrew away, because Andrew annoys him. But it looks like he can't be close enough to _you_."

"We used to be best friends," Blaine explained. "That's why he's so comfortable around me."

"May be so, but the way he _looks_ at you speaks volumes, even if he's a little bit cross-eyed right now." Chandler grinned. "If you ask me he's still in love with you."

Blaine was biting the inside of his cheeks. He loved what Chandler was saying, but he didn't dare to get his hopes up. Chandler didn't know anything about their story and the reason they had broken up.

Blaine craned his neck to be able to watch Kurt among the little group of men, one of whom apparently was some kind of famous photographer. One of them had brought a tray with at least a dozen shot glasses filled with a green liquid. They all toasted to one another and drank, then loudly slammed the empty glasses back on the table, taking the next shot.

Blaine kept count of the shots Kurt drank. Within a couple of minutes he drank four. Blaine knew that Finn was finished off after drinking five shots within an hour. If Kurt kept going like this he could easily get alcohol poisoning.

"I don't like this," Blaine muttered.

After a few more minutes Kurt leaned heavily against Andrew's side. The meeting didn't last long. Soon Andrew and Kurt walked back and passed their table.

Kurt caught a glimpse of them and stopped short. He said something to Andrew and The Boyfriend left while Kurt swayed over to them wearing a big grin.

"Heeey friends! I almost forgot you're here for real, Blaine Warbler."

"What do you mean by that?" Blaine asked, confused.

Kurt settled down on the arm of the couch, but lost balance and fell right across Blaine's lap.

"Woah! You all right?" Blaine held Kurt around the waist to keep him from falling off the couch on the dirty floor.

"Oh, gee, sorry!" Kurt scrambled off Blaine and scooted over to slump into the couch right next to him with one leg still across Blaine's lap.

Kurt held his head with both hands and let out a groan.

"Do you admitt now that you had too much to drink?" Chandler teased him with a friendly grin.

Blaine smiled down at his drunk ex-boyfriend and stroked his hands along the smooth leather of Kurt's boot. "Looks like someone is in desperate need of a massage," he said, because that's what he used to say when Kurt was sprawled next to him with a headache or just tired out. Kurt had loved getting a massage from head to toe. Blaine let out a sigh. He'd love to take Kurt home, undress him and make him feel better.

Kurt reached out with one hand like a blind man until Blaine took hold of it, and Kurt clasped his fingers strong around Blaine's hand.

"Help me up," he instructed.

"You're not going to throw up, are you?" Blaine asked in concern.

"No worries, the times that I've puked on Ms. Pillsbury's shoes are long gone," Kurt murmured.

Blaine narrowed his eyes. "You've been sick on Ms. Pillsbury's shoes?" he asked incredulously.

"I never told you about that? Right, why would I talk to my boyfriend about me throwing up on a teacher? Gosh, did I really just tell you about that?" Kurt covered his face with his hand again.

"I don't like you getting wasted," Blaine said softly. "This isn't you, Kurt."

"What? Are you judging me?" Kurt chuckled. "Last time we were in a gay bar together you were the one getting wasted, remember? You were getting wasted and danced with Sebastian Smythe. All. Night. Long." Kurt poked his finger into Blaine's chest. "And when I tried to get you home you wanted to make out in the car! You wanted me," his expression turned wistful. "And I wanted you, too! God, how much I wanted you in the back of that car!"

Blaine looked up in surprise. "Kurt..."

"But I was so jealous and I hated Sebastian so much that night, because he'd gotten all of your attention when I wanted to be... I wanted to be your..."

"My gay bar superstar," Blaine helped him out and Kurt nodded, smiling sadly.

"Wow," Chandler said with big round eyes, sitting on the edge of his chair. "This is more intriguing than _Gossip Girl._"

Kurt looked around as if he was just waking up and realizing where he was.

"I need to go." He struggled to get up on his feet and away.

"Wait, Kurt, wait!" Blaine followed him, concerned by the way Kurt was swaying, not able to walk in a straight line.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! **

**Please beware! The next few chapters will be a lot more angsty! Also I'll switch to Kurt's POV soon. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Trigger warning: alcohol misuse, violence, bad language**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

"Wait up, Kurt!" Blaine quickened his pace to walk beside his ex and reached out to hold him by the arm and offer some support. He was afraid that Kurt might stumble and hurt himself in his drunken state.

"I can walk on my own!" Kurt insisted and yanked his arm away; however, the sudden forceful movement caused him to tumble against the railing.

"Really?" Blaine asked with a doubtful raised eyebrow.

Kurt threw him a pointed look that clearly told him to shut up.

"I can walk on my own," Kurt repeated and slowly made his way towards the stairway.

Blaine followed him on his heels, making sure to be able to catch Kurt in time in case he stumbled again.

Kurt descended the stairs slowly and as gracefully as possible with a drunken head. Blaine was left admiring the catlike way Kurt moved in his tight clothes. The silver top was glistening in the disco lights and the black jeans were quite a delight on their own, because they were highlighting Kurt's behind in such an advantageous way that it was impossible for Blaine to avert his eyes.

"So sorry, I can't drive you home," Kurt said over his shoulder.

"Pardon?" Blaine didn't quite catch his words, because the volume of the music was increasing with every step downstairs.

"I said..." Kurt turned around to talk to him, but the swift move was too much for him. He swayed on the spot and grabbed the banister just in time. Blaine jumped forward and took hold of Kurt's arms to steady him.

"Please, sit down," Blaine said, anxious that his ex might fall down the rest of the stairs.

"I can't drive you back home, because, well, apparent reasons," Kurt muttered airily with a wave of his hand and lowered down on the steps.

"It's okay," Blaine replied, sitting down next to him. "Are you sure you're not going to be sick?"

"Just let me sit for a minute until the world stops spinning..." Kurt wrapped one arm around his middle and leaned his forehead against the cold metal banister.

"I really don't like this place," Blaine murmured with a sigh. "And I don't like this music and I don't like Andrew."

"Do I look like I care about what you like or not, Blaine?" Kurt said, turning his sad blue eyes on him, and Blaine knew it was a lie, because actions spoke louder than words and up until now Kurt had been so kind and sweet to him that Blaine knew that Kurt still cared about him.

"Well, just for the sake of completeness I also don't like you getting wasted," Blaine said with a sigh, adding quickly, "And I'm not judging you, I'm just worried."

"No worries, my dear, it's just another typical Friday night at _Babylon_," Kurt slurred and started giggling again.

"Oh, my," Blaine muttered under his breath.

"Remember the last time we sat here? Right on this spot," Kurt patted the small space of metal step left between them. "You asked me why I was doing all this and I didn't have an answer."

"Kurt, it's the first time I'm here," Blaine reminded him softly. "We never sat here before."

"Not the real _you_," Kurt replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "But the one who's following me around."

Blaine furrowed his forehead and scooted closer to Kurt. "What are you talking about?"

"If you ask me again tonight, I still don't know what to say to you," Kurt went on drowsily. "Because I don't have a clue what I'm doing."

Kurt propped his elbows on his knees and hid his face in his hands, sighing heavily.

"I know that feeling," Blaine said. "Most of the time I don't know what I'm doing myself. Especially that day when I was with this guy... I honestly don't know why I did what I did. I... I didn't even enjoy it, Kurt. I just... I felt so incredibly lonely that I needed to do something, _feel_ something, and I needed to go someplace where I was welcome, even if it was at some random guy's house and... I know you don't want to hear about this."

Blaine blinked back tears. It wasn't fair to play the victim when he had been the one destroying their relationship. He drew a deep breath to compose himself.

"You said something weird earlier," Blaine said, trying to figure out what was going on with Kurt. "You said you'd almost forgotten that I am here for _real_. And that I kind of follow you around. What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, right," Kurt heaved a sigh. "Why not humiliate me further by having me admit that I imagine you by my side wherever I go? Even talking to you, showing you things. It's silly, I know."

"It's not silly," Blaine replied with a slight tremble in his voice. "I'm doing kind of the same thing. I just can't stop thinking about you, Kurt. You're with me everywhere I go."

"Yeah, right," Kurt huffed.

"It's the truth," Blaine insisted.

"The truth? What's the worth of your truth when I don't trust you anymore?" Kurt replied, miserably. "Not since the night you broke up with me."

Blaine stared at Kurt open-mouthed. "I... I never broke up with you, Kurt!"

Kurt got the giggles again up to the edge of hysteria. Blaine rubbed Kurt's back helplessly and watched tears of laughter escaping Kurt's eyes.

"Sorry," Kurt managed to wheeze, "I get awfully giddy when I drink."

Kurt held his stomach and took a couple of deep calming breaths. Finally he managed to calm down enough to focus on Blaine again.

He licked his lips and spoke in a whisper. "You telling me that you'd been with someone else and blaming me for making you feel lonely pretty much felt like a break up to me."

The visible pain in Kurt's eyes was killing Blaine.

"I never meant to break up with you," Blaine said with a catch in his voice. "I needed you to forgive me."

Kurt shook his head slowly. "And you think forgiving is so easy?"

"I know it's not easy," Blaine admitted. "How can it be easy when I'm not even able to forgive myself? I just wish you'd give me a second chance to prove to you how much you mean to me. Kurt, I hate myself for doing this to you, to us. I have hated myself every single day ever since."

"I only wish you'd talked to me about how lonely I made you feel," Kurt said hoarsely, looking miserable. "I know you tried, but I was too busy being excited about New York. I would have done anything, Blaine, _anything_ if only you'd told me you were unhappy."

"Kurt," Blaine said, struggling with his own emotions. "I'm so sorry I blamed you for not being there for me and that I made it sound like it was your fault and..."

"No, you're right. It was my fault that you felt lonely and I'm sorry for not seeing it," Kurt went on, his face crumbling. "I just don't understand why you didn't give me a chance to do better. You could've given me a warning. You could have screamed at me! You could have kicked my ass, telling me how bad a boyfriend I was and how I let you down. Instead you did this! You made out with another guy, you made me feel like a complete failure, making it impossible for me to forgive you and to trust you again."

And then the worst thing happened.

Kurt started crying.

He hid his face in his hands and leaned against the railing, sobbing hard.

Without asking Blaine pulled him into his arms, and Kurt immediately surrendered and leaned into his embrace, resting his head on Blaine's shoulder.

The world around them stopped turning.

The music drowned out, the people vanished, there was just him and Kurt now, shaking against Blaine in utter despair. Blaine had never seen Kurt cry like this before, not even the night he had confessed his infidelity to Kurt. Of course back then Kurt hadn't been drunk. Still, seeing Kurt like this shattered Blaine's heart into pieces.

Men stepped carelessly around them, nobody granted them a second glance. Apparently Kurt was just another heartbroken guy weeping on the stairs on a Friday night in _Babylon_.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt, please, please, don't cry." Blaine swallowed down his own tears; he had to stay collected to be able to comfort his friend.

Kurt was heaving sobs, so hard that he couldn't breathe. His black eyeliner was smeared all over his cheeks as tears soaked his face.

"Take this," Blaine offered Kurt a tissue out of the back pocket of his jeans.

Kurt took the tissue and wiped his eyes, smudging the make-up even more, and blowing his nose.

"Breathe, Kurt," Blaine told him calmly.

Kurt was coughing now and drawing deep breaths that sounded very hurtful.

"Your scarf is bound way too tight," Blaine said and unknotted the scarf that was choking Kurt. He loosened it so Kurt was able to breathe, but he wasn't prepared for what he'd reveal.

There were bluish violet marks on the side of Kurt's neck. Blaine knew what love bites looked like and these definitely weren't hickeys. These were bruises from someone who had put his hands around Kurt's neck and strangled him.

Blaine couldn't take his eyes away, although seeing the strange bruises made him feel nauseated. That's why Kurt only wore turtlenecks or scarves in summer.

"What has he done to you?" he asked in a low voice, too quiet for Kurt to hear him.

Kurt was still in tears, resting his heavy head in one hand with his eyes closed, not realizing what Blaine was doing or else he'd have stopped Blaine from discovering his bruises.

With dread Blaine tugged at the tight sleeve covering Kurt's arm and gently pushed it up, revealing Kurt's right wrist. Blaine let out a choked gasp, feeling sick to his stomach. He clutched his hand to his mouth to keep from crying out.

The wrist he was holding was swollen with purple-colored fresh bruises.

"Oh, my God, Kurt, what's he doing to you?" Blaine blurted out in horror.

Kurt's eyes flew open and he was wide awake again. He yanked his arm away from Blaine and pulled his sleeve down, his face flaring.

"Kurt, talk to me," Blaine begged, but Kurt was on his feet again, swaying, but on his determined way downstairs.

"Please, wait!" Blaine wanted to stop him, but didn't dare to take his arm. Who knew how many more bruises Kurt kept hidden under his shirt?

"Drew!" Kurt called out as Andrew came into sight. "DREW!"

"Kurt, no!" Blaine stepped in front of him to block him out of sight, this time grabbing Kurt's shoulders and beseeching him with his eyes. "Come with me! I'll take you home to Rachel's! Don't go back to him."

"Leave me alone," Kurt said, pushing Blaine out of his way.

"What's going on?" Suddenly Andrew was right next to them. "Are you crying, babe?"

"Take me home," Kurt ordered. "Now! Get me home now!"

"Don't go with him, Kurt," Blaine pleaded, taking hold of Kurt's hand. "You can't go with him!"

"Hey, what's your problem?" Andrew put a firm hand on Blaine's shoulder to keep him off Kurt.

"You are my problem!" Blaine shouted out.

"You're damn right I'm your problem, dwarf!" Andrew yelled back. "Stay the fuck away from Kurt! Make him cry again and I'll break your ugly nose!"

"Drew, go and hail a cab," Kurt said, turning his boyfriend's attention back to practical things. "Give me your chip, I'll get our coats."

"What about him?" Andrew jerked his thumb at Blaine.

"I can handle him," Kurt replied drily. "Would you just go and get a cab? Please?"

With a last menacing glance at Blaine Andrew ran outside.

"Kurt, please!" Blaine followed his ex to the coatroom. "Don't let him treat you like that!"

Ignoring Blaine Kurt gave the staff member two chips, claiming their coats.

"Don't forget your jacket, Blaine."

Standing next to Kurt, Blaine put his own chip on the counter.

"Kurt, please talk to me," he whispered insistently. "Whatever is going on you can trust me. I'll help you."

"Nothing is going on," Kurt replied with a light laugh. "Don't jump to conclusions just because you've seen some nasty bruises."

"Then tell me he's not responsible for them. Tell me he's not abusing you, Kurt."

Kurt received his clothes and held them out to Blaine with an inquiringly raised eyebrow.

Blaine helped him into his vest and his coat, more and more layers to cover up the truth, when really Blaine wanted to undress him and no matter what he would see, he would kiss every inch of Kurt's flawless body.

Kurt buttoned up his coat and turned to walk, but swayed on the spot and muttered some curses under his breath.

"Let me help you." After Blaine had taken his own jacket, he offered his arm to Kurt.

With a sigh Kurt linked his arm with Blaine's and let Blaine guide him to the exit.

"See, accepting help isn't that bad," Blaine joked, but with deep meaning behind his words. Kurt hadn't answered his question yet, and he knew he wouldn't get an answer, because sometimes a _yes_ could be very hard to choke out.

"Come with me, just for tonight," Blaine offered. "We can eat more of Rachel's apple crumble and watch a DVD or whatever you want."

On the way out of the club Kurt remained silent. Outside he let go of Blaine's arm and looked around for Andrew.

The hot smoky city night made Blaine gasp for air, yet he was shivering. This couldn't be happening. Kurt couldn't go with this monster.

"Kurt, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, please, let me bring you to Rachel's. It's okay if you don't want me around, I can go and sleep at my dorm. But I don't want you to go with him. I want you to be with someone you can trust."

"At the risk of sounding like a broken record myself," Kurt replied with a faint smile, "trust is a flexible word, honey."

To Blaine's surprise Kurt got some money out of his wallet and gave it to Blaine.

"Take a cab, please. I don't want you to get home by subway."

"I'm not taking money from you," Blaine protested.

"Don't make a fuss, I know you're broke, so just take it, please! I want you to get a cab, it's too dangerous taking the sub at night." Kurt stuffed another couple of tens into the front pocket of Blaine's shirt. "Promise me you'll take a cab. I'll call Rachel and make her check on you."

Blaine shook his head. "I don't understand why you want to go with him."

"No need to worry about me," Kurt assured him. "I've got everything under control."

"Under control?" Blaine repeated with a humorless chuckle. "How do you control an abusive shit like him?"

"You don't know what's going on, Blaine."

"Then tell me what's going on!"

"I'm fine," Kurt said, moving to shove more money into the front pocket of Blaine's shirt, but Blaine caught his hand.

"What will I have to do, Kurt? What do you want me to do to change your mind? I can't let you go with him. I just can't."

Before Kurt could answer an angry yell startled them both.

"Hey, take your hands off of him!"

Without further warning Andrew pounced on Blaine, grasped him by the collar and shoved him backwards against the brick wall.

"Listen to me you little shit," Andrew hissed at Blaine. "I want you to leave Kurt alone, you understand me? He's had enough of your shit."

"ANDREW! GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Kurt yelled with a shrieking voice and grabbed Andrew's arm.

"I'm just giving him a little lecture in manners, baby," Andrew replied nonchalantly, giving Blaine another hard shove against the wall.

"Back off, Drew, I mean it!" Kurt hissed.

"Don't be such a scene queen, Kurt," Andrew let go of Blaine with a chuckle. "I didn't hurt him. Much."

"You can't shove my friends around like that!" Kurt exclaimed, clearly outraged.

Even Blaine was intimidated by how furious his ex was. Also, he was amazed that Kurt was fighting for him.

"So, we're on friendly terms with him again, are we?" Andrew snarled at Kurt. "I bet he wants to be your best buddy again."

"It doesn't concern you who I choose to be friends with," Kurt snapped.

"It does when it's your disgusting and cheating ex-boyfriend," Andrew shot back, and added in a mean voice, "who by the way told me all about your freaky sex lives and how you used to _love_ to go down on him."

Kurt's eyes widened, appalled. "You told him what?" he barked at Blaine.

"I never said such a thing!" Blaine objected instantly.

"Your reaction's really funny, baby," Andrew said to Kurt, chuckling again. "So you used to go down on him, didn't you? You told me you were a total virgin, never seen a dick before, and I fucking believed you. But turns out you're a liar, just like the rest of them."

"Don't you dare comparing me to any of those _Babylon_ sluts," Kurt snarled at him. "I never lied to you. You knew what you were getting into with me right from the start. I told you I didn't want to have sex and you respected that. You just guessed I was a virgin and I never corrected you. I told you right from the start that I was useless boyfriend material, but you were so captured by my _pretty_ _face_ that you didn't mind."

"Whatever, Kurt," Andrew waved off tiredly. "Just get in the cab and let's go home."

"He's staying," Blaine interjected, stepping up next to Kurt. "He's definitely not going with you."

"Says who?" Andrew turned to Blaine. "The jackass who just made him cry a minute ago?"

"At least I'm not beating him up," Blaine shot back.

"Fuck you!" Andrew's fist was faster than anyone could have foreseen. He hit Blaine's chin and knocked him off his feet.

Blaine fell on his butt and was seeing stars dancing in front of his eyes. Sitting up, he felt dizzy. From the corner of his eye he could see Andrew coming at him again, but Kurt blocked the way.

"Touch him again and I'll kill you!" Kurt hissed.

"What? That piece of garbage is finally in the gutter where he belongs," Andrew said with a shrug.

"Shut up, Drew!" Kurt barked at him and crouched down next to Blaine. "Are you okay, Blaine?"

Blaine nodded, although he tasted blood and touched his jaw carefully.

"You coming or what, Kurt?" Andrew asked, annoyed.

"Give me a fucking second!" Kurt yelled back at him. "Get in the goddamn cab and wait for me!"

"Hey, no fighting in front of _Babylon_," the bouncer of the dance club took a step in their direction. "If you have to break one another's bones take your fight down the street."

"We'll be gone in a sec," Andrew replied to the bouncer and walked off towards the cab which he had hailed for Kurt and himself.

Blaine was glad to see The Boyfriend leave and grasped Kurt's hand again.

"Don't go with him, Kurt!" Blaine pleaded, on the edge of tears.

"I can handle him," Kurt replied, truly sounding like a broken record now. "Don't worry about me."

"Hey guys, what's going on? Is there anything I can do?" Chandler approached them carefully. "Blaine, are you hurt? I saw Andrew hit you and I'm a bit freaked out right now. Should I call an ambulance?"

"Chandler!" Kurt looked up at him in pure relief, as if he was a savior. "Please, get Blaine home! Take a cab and take him back to Bushwick! Don't leave his side, promise me!"

"All right," Chandler replied solemnly. "You can trust me."

"I know," Kurt said with a thin smile. "Thank you, Chandler."

"Don't go, I'm begging you, Kurt," Blaine said once more, not letting go of Kurt's hand. "Don't go."

"I'll call you tomorrow," Kurt promised and pried Blaine's fingers off to free his hand.

A faint smile on a tear-streaked face with black eyeliner smudges on the cheeks was the last image Blaine got to see of Kurt this night. Then he was gone and Blaine was left with the painful truth.

Andrew was abusing Kurt. There was a huge difference between thinking something and knowing the worst you had imagined was true.

Blaine hunched over, clutching his knees and taking deep breaths. He felt like throwing up.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

**There's going to be one more chapter with Blaine's POV before I change to Kurt's POV. **

**Please remember that this is not canon!Kurt. Some of you might not like Kurt's POV very much. It involves a lot of self-hatred and self-harm, so please remember the trigger warnings and please don't send me hate in case you don't like the way I write Kurt in this story. Thanks for your understanding. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello my dear readers! I'm so sorry for the delay! Life has kept me busy!**

**A big KISS to _HarmonyLover_ for just being incredible sweet and a great help with this chapter! :)**

**This is the last Blaine chapter (for now). Then there'll be a couple of chapters from Kurt's POV. **

**Prepare for a lot of angst!**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

"Blaine? Are you all right?"

The boy with the nerdy glasses and the green cardigan crouched down next to him, pulling Blaine back to reality.

"Yeah," Blaine replied automatically and gingerly touched his chin with his fingertips; it was already swelling up.

"Boy, Andrew really placed a huge one on you," Chandler continued to chat lightly, holding out a tissue for Blaine. "I've never seen anything like this in real life before! I thought these kinds of streetfights only happened in the movies."

Blaine accepted the tissue and tapped his lips and chin with it. There was no blood, although his tongue tasted bloody. He had probably bitten his own tongue or the insides of his cheek when Andrew's fist struck him.

"Do you need anything?" Chandler awkwardly put a hand on Blaine's back, trying to comfort him.

"A phone," Blaine murmured and searched his pockets. "I need my phone."

Blaine found his phone in the inner pocket of his jacket, right next to Kurt's CD, which luckily wasn't damaged by Andrew's fierce shoving.

Chandler offered his hand and helped Blaine to his feet. Taking a few steps away from the entrance of the dance club, Blaine hit the buttons and called the only person who he hoped could help him now.

"Blaine Warbler, what's going on?" Rachel sounded tired. Considering the late hour she probably had been asleep already. "Please don't tell me you need me to pick you up, 'cause I'm already in my PJs."

"I just need you to tell me where Andrew lives!" Blaine shouted into the phone, trying to make himself heard over the traffic noise.

"What? Why?" Rachel was utterly confused.

"I need to go there and get Kurt away from him!"

"But... I thought you were with Kurt at _Babylon_...?"

"We were, but we had a fight, kind of, and now Kurt's gone with Andrew, and I need to follow them!"

"I... I don't know where Andrew lives," Rachel admitted.

"What do you mean you don't know where he lives?" Blaine yelled into the phone. "How can you not know where Kurt lives?"

"I'm sorry, but he didn't tell me," Rachel replied defensively, but also with growing concern. "He has only lived there for a couple of weeks, and I've not been there yet."

"Dammit!" Blaine cursed loudly and paced up and down the street. "I should've taken a cab and followed them! Now they're long gone!"

"What's going on, Blaine?" Rachel asked with a shaky voice, sounding confused and shocked. "You're scaring me!"

"Andrew's a violent piece of shit, that's what's going on!" Blaine answered, not able to keep his voice down. "He just punched me, and he would've beaten me up if Kurt hadn't stepped in."

"Blaine! I told you not to pick a fight with him," Rachel scolded. "I can't believe you let your temper get the best of you!"

"It's just because I saw..." Blaine choked and had to take a deep breath to compose himself. "Rachel, I saw bruises on Kurt's neck and his arm. He's hurting him, Rachel," Blaine choked back another sob. "Andrew's hurting him."

"Are... are you sure?" Rachel stammered, clearly shaken by the news. Blaine could hear that she believed him, but didn't _want_ to believe it.

"When Kurt noticed that I saw his bruises he tried to brush it off," Blaine explained, turning around and looking down the street. It was in the middle of the night, but there was still so much traffic. He spotted Chandler just a few feet away, trying to hail for a cab.

"When I asked him if Andrew was responsible for them Kurt didn't deny it," Blaine went on, brushing a hand down his face. He felt his eyes sting as they filled with tears. "He didn't deny it, Rachel."

"I'll call him," Rachel promised. "He'll answer my call. I'm going to call you back when I've reached him."

"Okay, I'll wait here, and when you find out the address I'll go and get Kurt away from that asshole."

"No, you're not going anywhere tonight," Rachel said, sounding frantic. "You're coming home now, Blaine."

Blaine argued with her for a while. He insisted on staying where he was until Rachel found out the address of the lion's den so that he could go there immediately. But Rachel told him that she didn't want him to go there in the state of fury that he was in.

"Please, come home," she repeated insistently. "We'll figure out what to do when you're here, all right?"

"Okay," Blaine finally gave in. "Call him now, okay? Call him right now. I'll hang up." He didn't want to waste any more time by talking to her. Her job was now to check if Kurt was all right.

"Cab's waiting." Chandler stepped up next to Blaine, jerking his head into the direction of a yellow cab nearby.

"Thanks for your help," Blaine said with a tired sigh. "And sorry for dragging you into this mess. You really don't need to come with me."

"Au contraire," Chandler replied with a faint grin while rocking back and forth on his heels. "I do need to come with you, because I promised Kurt to make sure you get home safely, and that's what I intend to do." He gestured towards the cab, almost taking a bow for dramatic effect. "Our cab is waiting if you please."

Not knowing what else to do, Blaine followed him and they shared the backseat of the cab. From out of the corner of his eye Blaine glanced at Chandler, who was tapping his thumb against his leg. It was probably good to have Chandler come along, because Blaine needed someone to back him up, to confirm his story, or else Rachel would think he was exaggerating again.

For a long moment Blaine just stared out of the window, the neon lights of the city rushing by, but all he could see were the bruises on Kurt's skin and the pure sadness in the depths of his ocean blue eyes. Blaine wished he hadn't let go of him. Not now. Not ever.

"Here, take this," Chandler said, offering him another tissue. Only now did Blaine register that he was weeping. He took the tissue with a whispered, "Thanks," and wiped his eyes and damp cheeks.

"Why was Kurt crying on the stairs?" Chandler asked softly, keeping his voice low so as not to entertain the driver. "Not that it's any of my business," he added quickly. "But those bruises on his neck... God, if Andrew did this to Kurt..."

"You saw the bruises?" Blaine asked, looking up in surprise. Good, that was good! Chandler was an eye witness. Rachel would _have_ to believe them.

"I followed you downstairs," Chandler confessed, scrunching up his nose. "But then Kurt started crying on the stairs and I stayed away, because I didn't want to disturb you. When you took off his scarf it was hard _not_ to see the bruises and... and his wrist..." Chandler swallowed hard. "I thought things like this only happen on scary TV shows. I just can't believe this is happening to Kurt. I mean, he always seems to be so strong and I admire him for that, I just don't understand..." Chandler let his voice trail off and shrugged helplessly.

"You have known Andrew longer than I have," Blaine said to him. "What do you think is going on between them?"

"I told you Kurt is not very lovey-dovey around Andrew. In fact, Kurt is always yelling at him and telling him to back off. I had the impression that he was sick of Andrew and that it wouldn't be long until Kurt finally broke up with him. But tonight..." Chandler shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "I've never seen Andrew lose it like this. He's gotten jealous before when Kurt talked to someone else, but he had never actually hit someone and..." Chandler paused and took his glasses off, rubbing them with the seam of his cardigan.

"I would never have thought that Andrew would hit him," he continued with a shake of his head. "Kurt's so strong and he hates bullying. He helped me out once and scared some guys off who offended me. He's my hero, and I just can't imagine that he would let Andrew lay a hand on him without fighting back..."

They remained silent for the rest of the drive. Blaine paid the driver with Kurt's money and offered Chandler some of it to pay for his way home, too.

"Do you mind if I come with you for a little bit?" Chandler asked hesitantly. "I'm not really in the mood to return to my dorm and be alone for the rest of the night and worry about Kurt. If I could just stay until we have word that Kurt is okay?"

"Sure," Blaine answered, motioning for him to get out of the cab. "Come with me."

* * *

Pulling out his keys, Blaine led his guest inside the house and upstairs to Rachel's apartment. He quickly opened the door and stepped in, already calling out for her. He found the small brunette bundled up on the couch, her face red and blotchy from obvious crying.

"Did you talk to him?" Blaine asked anxiously, hurrying over to her.

"He's not answering his phone," Rachel said, sniffing and holding up her phone accusingly. "Something must be wrong!"

"Yeah, a lot is wrong," Blaine agreed, sitting down next to her. "But what are you refering to?"

"We have a pinky swear!" she cried, crunching up her face. "To always answer one another's calls, no matter where we are and what time it is. He swore! And now he's not answering the phone! He's not answering!"

She was about to fall into Blaine's arms, crying, when she caught a glimpse of Chandler who was lurking about in the entrance.

"Who are you?" Rachel asked, wiping her face, puzzled by the blond boy in a green cardigan, wearing big glasses and a timid smile.

"I'm Chandler Kiehl, nice to meet you." He stuck his hand out to her, but his smile turned awkward. "I'm sorry for intruding."

"You're bringing someone home?" Rachel raised her voice disbelievingly at Blaine and ignored Chandler's hand. "I can't believe you're thinking of sex at a time when Kurt's in trouble!"

"I _don't_... Chandler's _not_..." Blaine stammered, taken aback by Rachel's way of thinking. "Do you remember the boy that Kurt met at _Between The Sheets_?"

"Yeah, but what's that to do with anything?"

"This is him." Blaine jerked his thumb at their guest.

"_You_ are Chandler?" Rachel said in surprise, eyeing him up and down. "Kurt's secret text flirt? You wrote him cute things like, _you must be an astronaut because your smile is out of this world_."

"A cheesy line, I know, but it just fit so well with him." Chandler shrugged apologetically.

"I thought you were... uhm, taller." Rachel shrugged and then took a tissue out of a box and blew her nose loudly. "Never mind."

"Kurt told me to make sure that Blaine gets home all right, so that's why I came along." Chandler explained. "So you're a friend of Kurt's, too?"

Rachel nodded, but couldn't answer properly, because her face was crumbling up with tears again and she started wailing in despair. "We have a pinky swear! A pinky swear!"

Blaine gently rubbed her back. "Calm down, Rachel, it'll be all right."

"Just moments ago you said Kurt was being beaten up by Andrew!" Rachel cried.

"I don't know," Blaine confessed and slumped back into the couch. "I don't have a clue what's going on. Let's just keep trying to call him, all right?"

"Uhm, I guess I'd better go?" Chandler said, not wanting to be a disturbance. "I can see myself out."

"No, you can stay if you like," Blaine said, after checking with Rachel.

"Do you want a piece of apple crumble?" she asked, pointing to the cake on the coffee table. "It's Kurt's favorite..." Her words drowned in another loud wail. She stuck her phone to her ear and tried to call Kurt again, still muttering about their pinky swear.

"Why did you make this promise about always taking each other's calls?" Chandler asked while helping himself to a big piece of cake.

"Because he felt so bad about not answering one of Blaine's calls," Rachel replied, wiping her face with a tissue.

Blaine looked up. "What?"

"He told me that he didn't answer your call the night you won the student president campaign and called him to share the news," Rachel elaborated. "He was at a party with Isabelle and turned your call off. He really regretted it. After you broke up, he talked about nothing else for weeks until I told him to learn from his mistakes. So we did a pinky swear to _always_ answer each other's calls no matter what was going on around us."

"That's so sweet," Chandler said, stuffing cake into his mouth. "I wish I had a best friend like that. You guys must be really close."

"Actually, we've grown apart a little bit," Rachel confessed, her phone still pressed to her ear. "I love him dearly, but I feel like he's slipping away from me and I don't know why. It's gotten worse since he has been with Andrew."

Blaine leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and raking his fingers through his hair. He felt so miserable. Back then when Kurt had ignored his call he had been so disappointed and felt so lost that he had wanted to scream at his boyfriend. But he had never said a word about it to Kurt.

To hear now that Kurt had actually acknowledged his mistake and realized that he had hurt Blaine by not answering his call was getting to Blaine in a way that made his heart ache. If Kurt had felt that guilty about it, why hadn't he said a word? Why had he punished Blaine with silence all this time?

Ever since Kurt had moved to New York their communication had suffered a great deal. Although they had talked on the phone or on Skype every day, Blaine had the feeling they had constantly talked at cross purposes.

"KURT!" Rachel almost jumped out of her seat when finally her call was answered.

Blaine tensed up immediately, watching Rachel closely as she put her phone on speaker.

"No, it's me," they all heard Andrew's voice. "What gives us the honor of your call at three in the morning?" he asked disgruntledly.

"I want to talk to Kurt!" Rachel demanded strongly. Blaine was impressed by the way she was able to switch from being a sobbing mess to a fierce friend.

"I'm afraid he's indisposed right now," Andrew replied and there was something odd in his voice that had Blaine instantly on alarm.

"I don't care. I want to talk to Kurt _right now_!" Rachel insisted.

"All right," Andrew replied in a snarl. "I'll see what I can do."

Blaine squinted his eyes at the distant sound of a repeatedly banging coming from wherever Andrew was. The banging sound grew louder as Andrew moved around the place. Blaine could also hear a muffled but clearly angry voice. Kurt's voice? What was going on over there?

Rachel and Chandler heard it, too, and both exchanged confused looks with Blaine. Chandler had even stopped chewing as if not to miss one second of the call.

"Hey, your bestie is on the fucking phone!" Andrew suddenly yelled and there was another loud bang, sounding like a pounding on a door. "Are you going to behave now?"

"_Let me the fuck out of here, Drew!"_

All three of them tensed up when they heard Kurt's furious yell. Blaine's grabbed hold of Rachel's arm, and Chandler put his plate down, not daring to gulp down the piece of cake in his mouth.

"Just if you promise to behave yourself," Andrew repeated cooly. "Can you do that?"

"_Let me out and give me my phone!"_

Blaine was holding his breath as he listened to a key being turned in a lock and some shuffling, and then Kurt's menacing low voice. "Leave me alone, Andrew! I mean it! Let me talk to Rachel. _Alone_."

"Tell her she can't keep on calling you late at night!" Andrew snarled. "Decent people want to sleep!"

"She can call me whenever she wants!" Kurt hissed. "And you're far from being a decent person, Drew. Decent people don't start street fights like some neanderthal who can't control his shit."

"Whatever," Andrew replied. "You go fuck yourself, Kurt. I'll go back to sleep."

And then finally Kurt was on the phone, sounding hoarse from yelling. "Rachel? I'm so sorry, Rachel, I didn't mean to ignore your calls; the phone was in the other room and I guess I must have passed out for a while."

"Kurt, did Andrew lock you up?" Rachel asked in absolute horror.

"Just one of his stupid jokes," Kurt said.

"That's not funny!" Rachel was outraged. "Kurt, he can't go and lock you up!"

"He was just worried about his carpet," Kurt replied, as if this explained everything.

"His carpet? What?" Rachel couldn't follow his logic.

"I had too much to drink tonight and threw up, so he stuck me into the bathroom, all right?"

"What are you doing drinking anyway, Kurt? Ever heard of alcohol poisioning?" Rachel scolded him now. "Mr Schue told us all about it during alcohol awareness week. Okay, you were at Dalton at the time, but it was the week I had my first party and I kissed Blaine, and _that_ should give you enough reason to figure out what alcohol does to you. _Think_ before you drink, Kurt! People do the _craziest_ stuff when they're drunk!"

"Give me a break!" Kurt sighed. "I'm not a regular drinker, Rachel. I was just nervous, because Blaine was there. Is he with you now? Is he all right? Andrew hit him, Rachel!"

"I heard," Rachel replied. "Blaine's sitting next to me. He indeed looks damaged, but he's okay."

"You have to make _sure_ he's all right, Rachel!" Kurt insisted. "Blaine's one of those people who claim to be fine even when they're bleeding all over the place, and Andrew really hit him hard." Kurt's voice grew intense and angry again. "In the face, Rachel, he hit him IN THE FACE! He knows that the face is absolutely a taboo zone."

"Kurt, if you care so much about Blaine why didn't you make sure he's all right yourself?" Rachel asked confused. "Why did you leave with Andrew?"

"Because I made a total and complete fool of myself. Blaine must think I'm so pathetic. I wanted to show him how sexy I've become, but instead I got wasted and behaved like a maniac. God, he really must hate me."

"_Nobody_ hates you, Kurt!" Rachel said strongly. "We love you and we want you to be safe. Even this guy, your _Between The Sheets _crush from back in the days, he's getting the drama front row on our couch. In fact, the boys are listening in, just so you know."

"Great, just great," Kurt sighed, a grumble taking over his voice. "Who else is in on the show? Why don't you broadcast on nationwide radio? _The rise and fall of one insignificant gay boy from Ohio_. I bet it would make the top ten of _Who The Fuck Cares._"

"We care!" Blaine answered, leaning towards the phone in Rachel's hand. "And I don't hate you, Kurt, I could _never_ hate you. I begged you to stay! How could you think I wanted you to go with Andrew?" He tried to keep his voice calm and level, but he was afraid his concern was audible in every trembling syllable.

"We're all just really worried about you," Chandler chimed in. "Because we don't understand what's going on with you and Andrew."

"Nothing is _going on_," Kurt answered with a bitter laugh, sounding defensive. "We live together. We fight. Couples do that. What's so hard to understand? Why can't you all just mind your own damn business?"

"Kurt, please, tell us your address," Rachel took over the phone again and spoke calmly, keeping her voice light and friendly. "Just tell us where to find you and we'll be with you in a minute, all right?"

"What for? Just so you can yell at me and wake up the whole neighborhood?"

"Oh, I'll be yelling, but not at you," Rachel promised. "I'll have a few words to say to Andrew!"

"No need. I already did that," Kurt replied in a huff. "He's not going to lay a hand on Blaine again."

"Good, but what about _you_?" Rachel asked firmly. "I don't want him to hit you, Kurt."

"He's not..." Kurt started, but Rachel cut him off instantly.

"Truth time, Kurt. I'm just asking you to tell me the truth, _please_." Her bottom lip was quivering as she pressed the phone to her ear. "Did Andrew hit you?"

Blaine clenched his fists and stared at the phone, willing Kurt to admit it and let them help him.

"What does it matter?" Kurt finally said, drawing a deep breath to collect himself.

"_What does it matter?_" Rachel repeated in an outcry. "Are you out of your mind? He has no right to treat you this way. You're going to move out of there, do you hear me? You can't stay with him!"

"Rachel, you're being unreasonable. Andrew isn't my problem."

"Oh, I'm being unreasonable?" Rachel huffed. "Please, enlighten me, Kurt. If the guy who _hits_ you isn't your problem, then who is?"

"Clearly I am," Kurt replied.

"What are you talking about?" Rachel inquired. "Did Andrew talk you into feeling shitty about yourself?"

"Oh, come on, Rachel, you know what a bitch I can be, and Andrew has a bad temper, too. Sometimes we're fighting, okay? And when shove comes to push we're both in it. It's a far cry from that to actual abuse. I can handle him. I'm fine, Rachel."

"Bullshit! Don't tell me you're fine!" Rachel spat out, wiping more tears out of the corners of her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me about this? Why did you lie to me?"

"Yes, I lied to you and I'm sorry," Kurt said tiredly. "Now that we've established that I'm a liar, can we please talk about it tomorrow? I have a hell of a headache and all I want to do is sleep."

"Now _is_ tomorrow," Rachel pointed out. "It's past 2 AM."

"All I'm asking for is a couple of hours of sleep."

"Okay," Rachel said calmly again. "How about you tell us where you live so we can pick you up and take you home with us? You can sleep in your own bed! How does that sound?" Rachel coaxed him gently.

"No offense, but I really don't feel like being around you guys tonight," Kurt said.

Rachel and Blaine shared a confused look.

"Why not? We're your friends."

"Yes, you're my friends, Rachel, but I feel disgusting and crappy right now and I don't want you to look at me with all that pity in your eyes like I'm this abandoned kitten you've rescued from the street. I really need to get some sleep as long as the buzz lasts, because I'm out of _Ambien_ and it's so hard to fall asleep and..." Kurt started weeping. "Everything just sucks."

"I know, sweetie, I know," Rachel said softly. "We all have those days when everything sucks."

"But it doesn't stop, Rachel. It still hurts so much, Rachel, I just can't make it stop hurting."

"I know it hurts," Rachel murmured, close to tears again. "But we'll get through this together, right?"

Kurt didn't answer, but they could all hear him sobbing.

"Kurt, please don't cry," Blaine said, wringing his hands and wishing he could take Kurt in his arms and hug him right now. He just couldn't bear listening to Kurt cry. "You're not disgusting or pathetic, Kurt. You're beautiful and perfect and... and you're very sexy, Kurt. I just couldn't take my eyes off of you all night long."

"Me, neither," Chandler chimed in and when Blaine glanced at him he blushed and took of his glasses to polish them with the seam of his cardigan.

"I'm so sorry Andrew hit you, Blaine," Kurt said quietly, sniffing.

"Don't worry about me, I'm all right," Blaine replied, carefully touching the swell on his chin. "Andrew hardly scratched me. Besides, I would take any blow if it was for you."

"Sorry for ruining your first night out in New York," Kurt said, his voice still thick with emotion.

"You didn't. You didn't ruin anything. I loved seeing you. I _loved_ dancing with you," Blaine said, biting down on his lips as he remembered that wonderful embrace they had shared on the dance floor. "Actually, dancing with you was the most wonderful part about tonight. Thank you for that."

"I really liked dancing with you, too," Kurt admitted.

Blaine scrunched up his face in bliss and heartache all at once. He was so happy to hear this, but at the same time it hurt so much.

"Kurt, I hope you know that I can't live without you!" Rachel suddenly cried out. "Please, don't do anything stupid! Promise me!"

"Now, don't be dramatic, Rachel," Kurt sighed heavily. "If you're looking for drama ask Chandler for his _Gossip Girl_ collection."

"Kurt?" Chandler spoke up again. "Do you remember that night at _Babylon_ when I was there for the first time? When I wanted to leave, those guys started to make fun of me and you came to my rescue?"

"Of course I remember," Kurt let out a small laugh. "They wore the ugliest no name button down shirts I had ever had the displeasure of laying my eyes on."

"Have I ever told you that I was really, _really_ scared of them?"

"You needn't tell me, Chandler. I saw it. I know what fear looks like, believe me."

"But _you_ weren't scared at all, Kurt!" Chandler said excitedly and started gesturing wildly. "They were big like, bulls, and I was all alone, and before my inner eye I already pictured myself being raped and tossed into the Hudson River. But then you came, looking for me, and you chased them away with only your words and your bitchy attitude. Nobody ever did anything like that for me before!"

"Anytime," Kurt replied and changed his tune into a funny voice, "_Us New Yorkers gotta stick together, right?_"

Chandler let out a happy laugh. "You're amazing, Kurt Hummel, and I just want you to know that I admire you and I love you."

"Awww, thanks, I love you, too, Chandler."

Chandler blushed. He actually blushed! Blaine gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. He didn't know why, but seeing the way Chandler's cheeks reddened and hearing him exchange _I love you's_ with Kurt made him feel a pang of jealousy.

"All right, then we're all going to get some sleep and meet for breakfast at ten!" Rachel decided.

"Ugh, let's make that lunch time," Kurt negotiated.

"Brunch!" Rachel compromised. "We'll meet at 11 AM at the _Tic Toc Diner_."

"Make that 11.30 and I'll be there."

"Deal," Rachel replied satisfied.

"And Blaine?" came Kurt's probing voice out of the speaker.

Blaine almost jumped at being addressed. "Yes?"

"I know you stole my CD. You're not a very good thief and an even worse liar."

"Uh, I'm sorry, I ..." Blaine stammered and blushed. He felt incredibly ashamed at being caught. After all he wanted to show Kurt that he was trustworthy. Stealing stuff wouldn't help to do that.

"You can keep it," Kurt said with a sigh. "It's for you anyway. Although I'm afraid that it has lost its meaning by now. I recorded it a long time ago."

"Okay, thanks," Blaine replied, puzzled. "I'm sure I'll enjoy it, whatever it is."

"Good night, guys," Kurt said, and he was answered with a chorus of good nights in return before he ended the call.

"Oh my," Rachel sighed, sinking back into the couch. "I feel like I've just had the most scary ride on an emotional rollercoaster. I'm pretty sure I've gone through way more emotions in the past five minutes then in any of my acting classes. I'm so shaken right now, and I don't feel any wiser than before."

"I suppose Kurt feels the same way," Chandler uttered. "He seemed pretty confused, too. Let's blame it on the alcohol. He's had way too much of that tonight."

Blaine didn't say anything. He got up and took Kurt's CD out of his jacket. He had meant to listen to it in private, because he felt like Kurt had wanted to keep it private, too. But now that he knew that Kurt had originally recorded the CD for him Blaine just needed to know what was on it, and he didn't care that Rachel and Chandler were around.

So Blaine put the CD into the stereo and braced himself to accept the ache that listening to this CD would undoubtedly cause him. He assumed it to be some sort of love song. Probably Kurt had sung it before they had broken up and then never given it to him, of course.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and pressed the play button.

The piano started playing beautifully, slowly. After the piano intro, Kurt began to sing in a low, sad voice.

"Many moons have come and gone  
And this little heart's still holding on  
To what could be, maybe should be, baby  
Crazy is all it's making me

You've got 4 and 20 hours  
Just one day to prove to me  
That your love has got the power  
Make me believe  
That you're the man for me, baby"

Rachel joined him, wiping her eyes with a tissue. "He meant to send it to you around Thanksgiving."

"He wanted to send me this? At Thanksgiving?" Blaine asked, baffled. "He recorded this for me _after_ we'd broken up?"

"Yes, and he debated for weeks whether or not to send if off to you. He finally decided against it, because he thought it was arrogant of him to send you this. The song says that he gives you a chance to prove your love, but I guess after a while he felt like it was arrogant of him to ask you to prove your love, since he had made mistakes, too, and he probably was as guilty of the failure of your relationship as you were."

Rachel slumped back into the couch and Blaine just stared at her.

"Can I get a copy of the CD?" Chandler spoke up, startling Blaine, as he had forgotten that the boy was still around.

"You can get a kick in your butt on your way out," Rachel grunted, sounding extremely dangerous from underneath all the pillows she was hugging. A tired, freaked out girl on PMS was not someone to mess with.

Blaine just shrugged at Chandler. "I'll call a cab for you. We should all try to get some sleep."

* * *

Blaine couldn't fall asleep.

He moved the ice pack Rachel had given him from his chin to his cheek, he could still taste blood in his mouth. He had put the CD into a portable player with head phones and listened to Kurt's song over and over again.

"See the sands of the hourglass  
Are slipping through your hands  
Every grain has got to hurt you  
Takes you further from your chance

See everyday I walk out of my front door  
And I've been wishing and hoping  
That today is the day that you're gonna smile in front of my face

Tell me that you love me  
Tell me you gonna be a man"

He tossed and turned and couldn't get the events of the night out of his head. It was hard enough to think of Andrew kissing and touching Kurt, just being _near_ Kurt. But to _know_ that Andrew abused him was unbearable. Blaine wanted so much to prove to Kurt that he could be the one Kurt needed him to be.

"You got one day  
I will give you 24 hours, baby  
That's all you should need

24 hours should be enough for you, love  
Just make me believe  
That you're the man for me, baby

I gotta believe you, baby  
I'm gonna need more than flowers"

_More than flowers..._

Yes, he definitely had to do more than flowers. More than a song. It was time to get into action. After all, actions spoke louder than words.

"4 and 20 hours  
It should be more than enough for you"

* * *

**Songs in this chapter: **

**Joss Stone - 4 and 20**

* * *

**Please go and read "Hold On" from _HarmonyLover,_ because it's such a smart and beautiful turn on the Sadie Hawkins episode. :)**

**Thank you!**


	12. Chapter 12

Hello my dear readers and followers! Thank you so much for your support and your patience with my slow writing. I love you all so much. I can't believe this story already has 78 reviews! I didn't expect such a response! Thank you so much! :)

I'm aware that a story about coping with cheating isn't easy to read, especially for those of you who have been cheated on themselves, sadly including myself.

Some of you have been asking questions and/or written some comments. I want to answer you, because this is a very serious topic.

**1. Is this the kind of story where Kurt is in an abusive relationship so Blaine can be a hero?**

No, it's not. There's not going to be a hero in this story except for Kurt himself. In a story about abuse and violence there's never a hero, except for the person who is able to escape from their situation.

**2. True love should fight the wrongs and distractions and get back together. At least it is what should happen in Klaine**** stories.**

Klaine will get back together. I think Kurt and Blaine need to save each other – and Kurt needs to save himself, Blaine can't do that for him, he can just support him.

**3. Please don't be one of those Klainers who victim blames.**

I understand that this is a very sensitive topic and there are a lot of ways to deal with cheating and to think about cheating and cheaters. There is no absolute right and wrong. But this story isn't about why Blaine cheated. For the record, I hate that Ryan Murphy turned Blaine into a cheater, because I feel it's OOC for him. But, as it is canon now, I was inspired to write this little fic about Kurt being cheated on and how unfortunate he deals with it.

I agree that technically Kurt didn't do anything wrong and it was mainly Blaine's own insecurities that turned him into a cheater. But I don't want to put the blame on any of the boys alone. This story is about how the one who's been cheated on feels guilty and takes the blame on himself. Although Kurt isn't to blame for Blaine's cheating he _feels_ like he is. I think that's a huge difference.

My main motivation to write this is to figure out what would happen to Kurt if he was more of a vulnerable and insecure person. The Kurt in this story is not the idea I have of the Kurt in the show (or in my other fics for that matter). I think canon!Kurt is a much stronger and confident person than I portray him in this story.

* * *

This fanfiction is more or less the result of me trying to process my own painful break-up. This is my personal feelings wrapped up into a Klaine story. So the way Kurt thinks about himself and the way he blames himself for the failure of his relationship is mostly my own feelings. Sorry about that. But don't worry about me, I'm not in an abusive relationship and I don't harm myself. Writing is my way of dealing with things. ;)

Again, this story is not a statement or an opinion on about what should happen in canon or how I picture Kurt.

Also, thanks to those of you who like Chandler in this story. I wasn't sure at first if I wanted him to play a little part in this story, but then he practically wrote himself. Such a cute nerdy charmer! :)

**Trigger warning: depression, self-harm, violence, bad language**

**This is Kurt's POV.**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

"Are you okay, Blaine?"

Kurt crouched down next to his ex. He felt dizzy, and not just from the impressive alcohol level in his blood, but from seeing Blaine down on the ground like this.

Desperately clasping at Blaine's jacket, Kurt felt catapulted back into the past.

It was the _Bad_ battle with the Warblers all over again. Hit by a rock salt slushy or beaten by an asshole, what difference did it make? Blaine was hurt and it had been Kurt's fault back then; it was his fault all over again tonight.

If Kurt hadn't been hostile and bitchy to Sebastian right from the start, the Dalton boy would never have felt encouraged to act all mean himself. He should have shown some confidence in his relationship with Blaine. Instead, he had written the words "Please Don't Take Away My Boyfriend" all over his face whenever Sebastian had been around, and the smug son of a bitch had taken advantage of Kurt's insecurity.

If it wasn't for the way Kurt had talked about his ex, Andrew wouldn't have lashed out at Blaine. If he had never mentioned Blaine, Andrew wouldn't even know that Blaine was his cheating ex-boyfriend. But Kurt hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut, due to another night of drinking and feeling miserable and heartbroken. He regretted telling Andrew everything that he had told him about Blaine. He regretted talking about Blaine, and thinking of him and dreaming of him and still crying over him.

"Don't go with him, Kurt," Blaine was saying, grasping for Kurt's hand. "Don't go!"

For a second Kurt was tempted. He wanted to surrender. He wanted to take care of Blaine. He wanted to hold him all night long and soothe him and kiss his fears away. He wanted to believe that they could be something again and that the past didn't matter.

But it did. It mattered. If it didn't matter, then why did it still hurt so much? A pain that was impossible to ignore.

"Kurt, I'm begging you, don't go with him."

He heard Blaine's pleading, but he didn't really register the words. Kurt's mind was occupied with one thought only. Andrew would pay for this. Kurt wouldn't let him get away like he used to let Sebastian have his way.

Back then, at high school, Kurt had despised violence. He even remembered having talked with Santana about how much he wanted to punch Sebastian, but just couldn't approve of an eye for an eye. Literally.

Today the way Kurt handled things was a little bit different.

Violence was no more than an outlet for piled up frustration. You had to get it out somehow, right?

Blaine moved his jaw around, testing the damage. Kurt saw it and resisted the urge to cradle Blaine's face and stroke a finger across the swelling on his chin.

Instead Kurt did a quick check to make sure Blaine was all right. Shoved and hit in the face, yes, but not severely hurt or violated. No need for a hospital visit.

But he couldn't leave Blaine alone, either.

"Hey guys, is there anything I can do?"

Thank heavens, Chandler was there. If there still was any goodness in the world, it was Chandler Kiel personified. He was like a happy dog, heartbreakingly naive sometimes, but always the right person to cheer you up. Always first in line to do a friend a favor. He would do anything Kurt asked him to. Kurt knew he could trust Chandler with taking care of Blaine.

Funny, this thing about trust. It's quite easy with some people. Pure hearted, open-minded people who were too good for their own good sometimes. Kurt still didn't understand what made Chandler come back to _Babylon_ every Friday night. But he was grateful that he did, because at one point talking to Chandler had become the only thing Kurt had looked forward to all week long. Even if it had been based on Kurt's lies.

Sometimes you just needed a friend who would kind-heartedly overlook your shit and be a rock for you no matter what.

The grip of Blaine's hand tightened around Kurt's cold fingers. Kurt looked at his ex and found himself falling into the depth of those sad hazel eyes. Blaine was scared of the situation, and seeing this broke Kurt's heart. Blaine had dealt with enough violent shit in his life already – the Sadie Hawkins Dance, the Warbler's slushy attack. He didn't need Andrew's fit of jealousy to add to his list.

Kurt managed a weak smile, saying with his eyes, _Don't be scared, darling. There's nothing to be scared of. You'll be all right._

Blaine shook his head slightly; no, he didn't believe it.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he promised. It was all Kurt was able to give him now. The promise of a call. The prospect of staying in contact, although he knew it was probably wrong and he shouldn't be wanting it so much himself. But he still wanted Blaine in his life, hurtful as it was. Perhaps one day he'd finally learn to deal with the pain or to live with it.

Until then he had developed his own way to release some of it.

Gently Kurt pulled his hand out of Blaine's firm grip and got up on his feet. Leaving Blaine like this was harder than he'd thought, but there was enough rage in his blood to fuel his system. He'd make sure that Andrew wouldn't lay a hand on Blaine again.

* * *

Kurt got into the cab and closed the door with a bang that made the driver look up with a frown.

"Go!" Andrew instructed the driver and leaned back as the car pulled off onto the street.

Kurt clenched his fists to keep his hands from shaking as he stared out into the neon city lights, trying to keep his eyes focused despite being wasted.

Guilt and worry washed over him. What if Blaine wasn't all right? He could have some sort of concussion. He could be in shock. He could have internal injuries. Kurt chastised himself for not taking Blaine to a hospital to get him checked.

Kurt took out his phone to tap a message to Rachel, but his fingers were shaking so hard he couldn't type. He put his phone back into his pocket and clasped his hands in his lap, because he didn't want Andrew to see him trembling. He would contact Rachel later. If Blaine wasn't well Chandler would call an ambulance, and Rachel would watch over Blaine like a mother hen. She would notice if Blaine was seriously hurt.

"Oh, boy, you're going to have a hell of a hangover tomorrow," Andrew predicted with a low chuckle.

Kurt held up his hand, not looking at his boyfriend. "Don't talk to me!" Kurt said through gritted teeth.

"What?" Andrew asked, amused. "Am I in trouble?"

"Just wait til we get home," Kurt threatened.

Andrew chuckled. "Come on, what's wrong with you? You're really mad because I shoved your ex around a bit?"

"Yes, that's exactly what's wrong with me," Kurt hissed. "I've got a freaking headache and you're not making me any better by beating up my friends!"

"Friends?" Andrew puffed out a laugh. "You're really calling that cheating dwarf a friend of yours?"

"My history with him is none of your business!"

"It is," Andrew countered, raking a hand through his hair, "because ever since your fucking ex is in town you're acting all crazy."

Kurt crossed his arms. "That's still no reason for you to hit _him_!"

"He annoyed me," Andrew shrugged. "He made you cry."

"I cry whenever I want to cry," Kurt declared. "I don't need you or Blaine to _make_ me!"

"Good, because he's not worth any of your tears."

"I'm not crying over him," Kurt denied with a little humorless laugh.

"Then what was it you cried last night about?" Andrew asked smugly. "I'm telling you, it's not easy to fall asleep next to someone who breathes through his mouth because his nose is stuffed up."

"Bite me!" Kurt barked and shot a glance at the driver, who kept a straight face. Surely they weren't the first fighting couple in this cab.

* * *

Kurt hardly contained his rage on the drive. He watched Andrew tipping the driver and went ahead to the apartment building.

Once they were inside the apartment, Kurt snapped. He slammed the door and reached for the first thing he could find – a ridiculous bronze penis statue that had bothered him since he moved in – and hurled it against the wall.

"Hey!" Andrew shouted out. "Are you crazy? That was expensive."

"Are you kidding me? It's a piece of trash," Kurt replied with a snarl. "Just like you are!"

"I don't get why you're mad at me!" Andrew growled and went to pick up the statue. "I'm the one who's got a right to be furious. You've been lying to me right from the start, and I'm not sure if I can forgive you for this breach of trust."

"Trust? As if you'd ever put some trust in me. You don't trust anyone, Drew. It's the first thing I learned about you, remember?" Kurt snorted. "And you only believe what you want to believe."

"Okay, so you lied to me about not being a virgin, who cares?" Andrew said. "Once you've slept with me you won't want to be with any other guy again anyway."

"Oh, you're that great, aren't you?" Kurt snorted again.

"Want me to prove it?" Andrew came closer and stroked the tip of the penis statue down Kurt's chest.

"The hell I want you to touch me," Kurt said in disgust. He yanked the statue out of Andrew's grasp and held it up high, staggering backwards while threatening to throw it again. "I want you to apologize."

"What for? Hitting that gnome? Come on!" Andrew laughed out loud. "Your ex is a pathetic lapdog, and he's still so into you. Should've heard him talk about you, like you were an angel sent from heaven." Andrew smirked at that. "Makes me wonder if he's ever seen the angry side of you."

"Promise me you'll never hit him again, Drew!" Kurt insisted, raising the statue higher. "Because I swear I will trash this place if you ever lay a hand on him again. Are we clear?"

"Baby, you're really hot when you're all angry and stuff," Andrew half smiled and jumped forward, trying to take the statue away from Kurt.

With a grunt Kurt shoved Andrew away and smashed the trophy against the glass cabinet. With a loud shattering sound, the front burst into pieces, raining glass fragments on the carpet.

They both startled away from the mess.

"FUCK!" Andrew yelled, staring at the broken glass in disbelief. "Fuck, Kurt! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You! This! Everything!" Kurt shouted back hysterically, pointing accusingly at him. "Things are getting out of hand! I never wanted this to get out of hand!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't want you to hurt my friends!" Kurt yelled back at him. "How can you not understand that?"

"It's not about your friends," Andrew replied. "It's all about _him_, isn't it? Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I don't see the way you're acting around him? The way you slow danced together? You think I didn't see it?"

For a minute Kurt was at a loss for words. Funny, when he'd danced with Blaine he'd simply forgotten about everything. He had _wanted_ to forget everything and just let his mind drift off to someplace beautiful.

"Yes, I danced with my ex. So what?" Kurt shrugged.

Andrew let out a humorless laugh and approached Kurt slowly, backing him into a corner.

"Baby, he's making a fool of you and you're stupid enough to let him. He's probably laughing about you right now, about how easy it is to wrap you around his little finger again. Are you really falling for his cheap tricks?"

"You don't know anything about him," Kurt replied weakly, blinking away tears and hugging himself.

He felt sick and his stomach was cramping badly.

"That's right," Andrew confirmed. "And I don't _want_ to know anything about him. It's sickening me already to know that he's a cheater. But it's sickening me even more to see how much you still idolize him. He's a pathetic joke, but you treat him like he's a superstar."

"I do not..." Kurt started to say.

"Cheaters will always cheat, baby," Andrew said. "He's trying his best to make you trust him again, but you'd be a fool to believe a word he says, no matter how much he wants to impress you by fighting against me."

"He's just trying to be friends with me again," Kurt explained with a shrug. "And he's always been very protective of me."

Andrew huffed. "Well, I bet he's not feeling so heroic now that I let him have a taste of _The_ _Fury_!" Andrew held up his fist and smirked at Kurt.

For a split second Kurt just stared at him, unblinking, with shock written all over his face. He had once, in a weak moment, told Andrew about the bad times with Karofsky at high school. And this was how it was coming back at him.

"FUCK YOU, DREW!"

With a strangled cry, Kurt lashed out at him. Andrew fended off his attack, but Kurt kept throwing furious punches at him until his fist connected with something. Andrew made a gasping noise and then cursed.

He grabbed Kurt's shoulders and pushed him into the wall. "Stop it, Kurt! I mean it! You're behaving like a maniac!"

For a second Kurt's world was spinning before his eyes - whether from being wasted or from the impact with the wall, he had no clue.

Andrew kept him pinned against the wall and hurled insulting words at him, but Kurt didn't listen anymore. They sounded all the same, still echoing in his head.

Kurt hated when Andrew did that.

Strangely, at the same time he welcomed it.

Being smashed against the wall reminded him of times when he was constantly shoved into lockers. It fueled his fury, while at the same time it was soothing, because this kind of pain was familiar, something he was used to.

Andrew closed one hand around Kurt's throat to keep him still. "Are you done acting all crazy now?" he asked, but Kurt kept fighting him, struggling against him, causing him to tighten the grip on his throat.

"I'm not going to let go of you until you promise to behave," Andrew said with a superior glint in his eyes. "You're going to pay me back for the glass cabinet, you hear me?"

Kurt began dry heaving and Andrew reacted immediately. "Oh, no, no, no! You're not going to be sick on my carpet!" He half dragged, half carried Kurt down the corridor and shoved him into the bathroom.

Kurt stumbled towards the toilet and sunk to his knees. The room started spinning around him and sick rose in his throat. He tried not to throw up, but fighting the urge made it even worse. Finally, he hunched over the toilet and spat.

"You're disgusting, you know that?" Andrew was saying, standing behind him in the door. "You didn't seem to be a freak like this in the beginning, but the more I get to know you, the more it makes me want to take you to a mental facility."

Kurt didn't respond to that. He was hugging the toilet seat, hating the taste of vomit in his mouth.

"Also, if you can't hold your liquor, you shouldn't drink so much," Andrew said, all smart.

Kurt wiped his mouth with toilet paper and sat back against the tiled wall. "Fuck you," he murmured and gave Andrew a bitch glare.

Andrew disappeared and Kurt leaned his head back, feeling utterly exhausted.

His eyes wanted to shut. It would be so easy to sink into the haze and forget about everything. But he still had to call Rachel.

"Drew, bring my phone," he called out weakly.

But when Andrew returned he didn't carry his phone. Instead he threw a pillow at Kurt. "You're going to sleep in here. I've had enough of your drama. Also, you stink!"

Kurt didn't protest. He was too tired for that.

Stretching his arm out to grab his pillow, he ended up half lying on the bathmat. It was only when he heard the sound of a key being turned that his mind acted up again, but his body was too tired to follow. He'd call Rachel in a minute. Just needed to shut his eyes for a second.

* * *

**Thank you for reading. **

**If you're looking for another great Klaine fic I recommend to read "Blaine Absolutely Knew He Was In Love" from **_**Corriebird**_**! I absolutely adore it. Also the prequel "Blaine Didn't Know He Was In Love" is simply amazing! **


	13. Chapter 13

Hello my wonderful readers! :)

_ShizoCow_ pointed out to me that I made it sound like I believe that "strong" people don't get into abusive relationships. I agree that anybody – no matter how "strong" or "weak" they are – can get into an abusive relationship. By repeatedly pointing out that the vulnerable!Kurt in my story is not the usual strong canon!Kurt I just wanted to avoid receiving critics on how canon!Kurt would never fall apart like he does in my story. I didn't mean to imply that "strong" people are unlikely to be mistreated. This can happen to anyone and a person who is in such a situation needs encouragement and understanding and a helping hand. Thank you, _ShizoCow._

Thank you, nameless guest, for your wonderful positive review! :) It makes me proud to be your number 24. Hopefully also your 25th. ;)

A very BIG THANK YOU to _HarmonyLover_ for being my rock with this story! I couldn't do it without you!

Everyone, I'll be at the CHRIS COLFER BOOK SIGNING this Sunday in LONDON! If anyone of you will be there, too, please tell me! I'd love to meet anyone of you guys there! :)

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**Flashback**

_I can't stand to be apart from the person I love. _

"And the worst thing is that there's not one minute I don't think about everything. All the things you ever said to me are constantly running through my head over and over again. Like, do you remember when you said you couldn't stand to be apart from the person you loved?" Kurt let out a bitter laugh. "I didn't think you meant it _literally."_

Kurt crossed his arms in front of his chest, his voice suddenly sharp as a razor. "I guess what you _really_ meant was that you can't stand to be alone without somebody, _anybody_. You don't need _me_, Blaine. You just need _someone_ to pet you twenty-four seven."

Kurt raised his chin challengingly. "What? Is there anything you want to say to me?" he hissed, staring hard at his counterpart. "How about, tell me you're unhappy but don't cheat on me. How about that, Blaine?"

Kurt's voice wasn't more than an angry growl, his rage hardly contained as he spat out through gritted teeth. "Tell me you're unhappy but don't cheat on me! Tell me you're unhappy but don't _fucking_ cheat on me!"

Kurt slammed his fist against the mirror. A thin crack appeared.

Kurt stared at it, his eyes filling with tears.

It was just a tiny crack, but it would expand and grow wider and sooner or later it would break the mirror apart.

Kurt raised his hand to wipe at his eyes, and then he saw it. A trickle of blood ran down the side of his hand. "Oh, shit!" He brought his hand to his mouth and sucked it, checking for glass fragments. Only now the little wound started hurting. _It's always the aftermath_, Kurt thought and let out a snort.

Three weeks had passed since Blaine's surprise visit; since his confession. Three weeks and Kurt still felt like dying, rotting inside while he tried his best to look okay on the outside, because...

"Kurt? I'm back!" Rachel called out, shutting the door with a bang. "Are you home?"

"I'm here!" he called back and quickly cleaned the little cut on his hand and put a Band-Aid on it. Then he drew a deep breath to calm himself and shot a last dark glance at his reflection. He'd been doing this for a while now, hurling curses at the bathroom mirror. Words he wanted to throw at Blaine.

This was one reason why he didn't dare to call Blaine. He was afraid it would all come spewing out, all the mean words that gathered up in his head. He feared he would tell Blaine that he hated him, and as much as he spun the words around in his head, he knew deep inside that it wasn't true. He could never hate Blaine.

Still, at times he wanted to hurt Blaine, to cause him the greatest pain, and he got scared by his wish to harm Blaine, to see him suffer as much as he suffered himself.

No, Kurt couldn't talk to Blaine. Not yet. He was still so angry at him that he was afraid he might just SCREAM at Blaine or end up a crying, sobbing mess. He didn't want to say things to Blaine that he might regret someday.

"What happened to the mirror?" Rachel was checking her reflection and of course she noticed the crack.

"I… I cleaned it and rubbed too hard, sorry."

"That's okay. We'll get a new one," Rachel said off-handedly, before launching into an excited monologue about her day at NYADA while they started to cook dinner together. Kurt didn't mind her endless chatting. He knew that she needed something to distract her mind from her break-up with Finn, and he himself didn't feel like talking about his own misery.

The first week after Blaine's confession – after the initial shock wore off – Kurt had been in a state of denial, practically living in a happy pretend bubble. He didn't want to talk to Blaine because he didn't want to acknowledge what had happened, because it would make it real.

Blaine still texted him daily, wanting to talk, but Kurt wasn't ready for that kind of talk. Another reason why he avoided Blaine was that he didn't want to say goodbye to him. He dreaded a conversation that would end with an official, "This is pointless. Let's break up". He feared that Blaine wanted to officially end things. Neither of them had spoken the words out loud, but Kurt felt that this was what Blaine wanted. To be free to date someone else. Someone who could be there for him the way Blaine needed them to be.

And no, Kurt really didn't want to hear about Blaine happily dating another guy.

"How about we go out tonight?" Rachel asked him all of a sudden, and Kurt blinked at her, startled.

"Go out? Where?" he asked, not very excited about the prospect of leaving the apartment.

"Well, there's this gay bar we walked by the other day, remember? We said we would check it out sometime. How about tonight?" Rachel beamed at him.

"I'm not sure," Kurt sighed.

"I don't take no for an answer. I think after a hard week's work we both deserve to have some fun!" Rachel decided. "Come on, let's find something fancy to wear!"

Going through his closet and trying on clothes was always the best way to soothe Kurt and take his mind off things. It was only when he spend endless sleepless nights thinking about what went wrong that Kurt realized a couple of things.

First of all, he saw that he had been too focused on himself, on his new life in New York. He had wanted to share all the exciting news with Blaine. New York was the real hard life. McKinley High suddenly seemed like kindergarten to him.

He had become arrogant by putting his own life above Blaine's. He hadn't taken Blaine's cute problems seriously, like which bowtie to wear to a debate. Honey, it really doesn't matter which one you wear.

It didn't cross his mind that Blaine might have troubles, be miserable. After all, Blaine was still back in Lima, all familiar and easy, just having to get through another year of high school, blessed with success and popularity. What kind of problems could Blaine possibly have?

Kurt hadn't seen what was underneath the surface, hadn't bothered to look.

Now he realized that Blaine had needed him more than he'd expected to be needed.

But the thing was, Kurt had needed him, too. He had felt awfully lonely in those first few weeks in New York. Even with Rachel around, sometimes he had felt so incredible lonely that he couldn't breathe. He had been longing for their nightly Skype sessions all day long; sometimes it was all he was looking forward to. He hated it if he had to cut off Blaine on the phone when he was in the office. He heard the longing in Blaine's voice and it made Kurt miss him even more.

When they skyped Kurt put on a show, getting all excited, overexaggerating about how great everything was. He was cheerful then, but he only felt cheerful when he was talking to Blaine. When Blaine's face appeared on the screen, all of Kurt's troubles seemed small and unimportant and far away, because Blaine was near.

Blaine had so many victories to talk about, unlike Kurt. Blaine was so popular at school and participated in so many clubs. Kurt wanted to tell him all the great stuff, too. He wanted Blaine to know that he was successful in New York, even though he didn't make it to NYADA.

He hadn't told Blaine how lonely he truly felt, how hard it was to settle into the New York lifestyle, to feel at home when everything was so new and unfamiliar. New York was not a dream come true; it was hard work, it was rough and unfriendly on different terms than Lima was. He had needed seeing Blaine's face every night to feel loved and at home.

He had taken Blaine for granted. Simple as that.

He had taken their relationship for granted.

But was he to blame? They had already made so many plans for the future that the idea had never occured to Kurt that they would ever break up. Of course, he had been aware that there would be obstacles along the way. He was prepared to go through rough times, knowing that they would stagger and struggle sometimes, but he had never had a doubt that they would make it through. He would have forgiven Blaine anything. Anything but cheating.

"Why don't you just call him back?" Rachel would ask him when he turned off another one of Blaine's calls.

"No, not yet," was always the answer.

Picking up the phone to call Blaine? That was the hardest thing. He wasn't ready for it yet and wondered if he ever would be. Some nights he was tempted to just do it and desperate enough to put his pride aside and just beg for Blaine to come back to him and just forgiving him everything. He would stare at his phone for hours, contemplating, thinking about what to say, creating whole conversations in his head and wondering how Blaine would react, what he would answer, how they would end up.

But Kurt was scared.

He was scared that another confrontation would lead to an irrevocable ending. As long as he kept hovering he could pretend that they were... _something_, even though they weren't on speaking terms.

His phone buzzed with a text message.

Rachel stuck her head around the door of her closet to him with a questioning look. "What is it?"

Kurt checked his phone and let out a sigh. "A text from Blaine."

Her eyes turned misty and haunted. "What does he say?"

"Always the same," Kurt replied, staring at the few words on his display.

_I'm so sorry, Kurt. If only you'd let me explain. Please call me whenever you feel like talking. – B_

Kurt read the words over and over again. What's there to explain? Nothing can make this breach of trust undone, Blaine.

"Aren't you going to answer him?" Rachel asked quietly, almost timidly, still hiding behind her closet door.

Kurt nodded more to himself than to her. Until now he had ignored all of Blaine's attempts to contact him, but some part of him anticipated Blaine's messages, taking some comfort in the fact that Blaine was still thinking of him. However, every time he saw Blaine's name flash up on his phone it made him feel empty and reminded him of what he'd lost.

So he tapped out an answer, kept his thumb hovering over the send button for a while and then, with a single tear sliding down his cheek, sent it off.

_Stop texting me. – K _

* * *

**Present**

The faint sound of his ringtone jolted him back to consciousness. Kurt strained his ears and slowly sat up, every muscle aching with the effort. It was his phone playing _Don't Rain On My Parade_. Barbra was telling him that Rachel was calling.

He scrambled to his feet and made his way to the door, just to find it locked. "Drew!" he called out, but his voice was raspy and he had to clear his voice. He banged his fist against the door.

"Drew, let me out. Rachel's on the phone! Drew!"

There was no answer.

Kurt sat down on the closed toilet lid and held his head with both hands to keep it from spinning. He felt like throwing up again.

The ringing stopped. Rachel had given up.

Kurt inhaled deeply through his nose. Everything was going to be all right. He would call Rachel back in the morning. He could say he'd been fast asleep and it wasn't his fault he didn't answer her nightly call.

Kurt tugged at the scarf strangling him, then fumbled with the buttons on his vest. He carefully took it off and draped it over the back of his vanity chair.

Then Kurt ripped the scissor brooch off his vest, smoothing his thumb over its surface. He had wanted Blaine to see it. He had wanted to make Blaine think of the night of their first time. He knew Blaine would remember. Kurt didn't know what he'd wanted to gain by making Blaine remember what they'd lost. All it did was making him feel childish and mean to torture Blaine like that. To pay him back some of the torture he was going through himself.

But Kurt didn't want to be like this. Bitter and mean.

Kurt dropped the brooch into his small accessories pouch.

He carefully rolled up his sleeve and midway up his forearm he could see the bluish-black edge of a new bruise coming into view. Kurt touched the center of the bruise with his finger, smoothing over its width. It hurt, but he pressed harder, increasing the pain until he had to blink back tears, his fingers lingering on the abused skin.

Then he checked the damage on his wrist. It had gotten worse. The skin was still sore, red and puckered from the tight rubber band he used to wear. The numb twinge was always present, but the slightest touch turned it into a sharp pain.

Blaine had seen it.

Kurt let out a deep breath.

In only one night Blaine had pretty much figured everything out. It was only a matter of time until he told everyone what kind of a mental case Kurt had become.

Yes, Kurt was aware that he'd gotten himself into a mess and that perhaps he needed help to get out of it again. Yet he wasn't ready to admit to anyone what a mess he was; even worse, he wasn't ready to stop doing what he was doing.

A look into the mirror made him feel even worse.

Black lines stroke down his cheeks; he'd forgotten about his stupid eyeliner. He rubbed the make-up off his face with a wet washcloth and then forced himself to look at his reflection in the mirror, really looking at himself, something he had avoided doing for a while.

It was as if he was staring at someone else, a person he hardly knew. He had to tell himself that this was what he looked like. Worse than on the worst days of bullying at McKinley when he used to have a bruise here and there from locker slams and dumpster throws.

_This is me now_, he told himself and forced himself to look into his own eyes. _If anyone saw me like this... They can never know. It'll heal. Soon no marks will be left, no visible scars will stay. No one will know. But myself. _

"Take a look at me now," he sang in a low murmur. "There's just an empty space..."

He broke off and looked over at the cupboards, wanting to focus on something else other than his reflection. His eye caught his collection of skin care products and ointments and he reached out for it.

Every night Kurt treated his bruises responsibly, rubbing ointment in slowly, taking count of each bruise and its healing process. He knew exactly how each of them came on him and which ones he'd caused himself and those Andrew had given him.

Each morning he dressed cautiously, all buttoned up, careful to never let anyone see his bruises, not even Andrew. He made sure that he was buttoned up in his pajamas every night, and he never let his boyfriend see him naked. He knew he couldn't fool Andrew forever. Although Andrew was a big egomaniac, he had started noticing that Kurt acted weird.

And now that Blaine was in New York things became even more difficult.

Blaine tried to reach out to him and Kurt couldn't help feeling drawn to him.

Andrew had always been jealous, more or less, but now with Blaine in the picture Andrew became unpredictable.

Kurt stared at his tired self again. Ashamed that this was what Blaine had been seeing this night. A miserable shape of who he used to be.

"I wish I could just make you turn around," Kurt resumed his low singing. "Turn around and see me cry, there's so much I need to say to you..."

But how could he say it? What difference would it make if he said anything?

"And you coming back to me is against all odds," Kurt's voice turned bitter again. "And that's what I've got to face."

But then he remembered seeing Blaine that day in the coffee shop for the first time since forever.

Talking to Blaine had felt like loosening a barbed wire around Kurt's heart. Blaine was still so handsome, beautiful even, his eyes too intense to look into, his curly hair so enticingly to touch. Instantly Kurt had wanted him back in his life and at the same time didn't. He was afraid that the pain wouldn't ever go away. Then again it hurt every day anyway, whether he saw Blaine or not. So why not see him?

Andrew had called him a fool, and maybe he was, but Kurt knew he couldn't go on like this. It was either go on fooling himself or be fooled by everyone else. Perhaps it was time to start trusting again. So why not put some trust into the person who used to be his soulmate?

"So many reasons why you're the only one," Kurt murmured and traced a finger along the curve of his lips, "who really knew me at all."

In the other room his phone started ringing again, reminding him that Rachel was somewhere out there trying to reach him. She had been his rock in the past few months; she had distracted him from his heartache, although she had been hurting, too. He didn't want her to know that he had failed; he didn't want her to think that he was anything but okay.

With a leap Kurt was at the door, trying the handle and then banging his fists against the door.

"Drew! Let me out! You hear me? Open the door! I need to answer my phone!"

* * *

**Songs in this chapter:**

**Phil Collins – Against All Odds**

* * *

**Thank you for reading! **

**To those of you who will be at the Chris Colfer book signing this Sunday in London! Please contact me, maybe there's a chance to meet! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Flashback **

**Forgive-me Flowers**

"He cute?"

"The cutest."

His co-worker gave him a symathetic smile and left Kurt staring at the bunch of yellow and red roses.

And that was when it hit Kurt. Yes, Blaine was the cutest guy in all of Ohio. How could he ever have thought that he was able to keep him?

Perhaps he had underestimated Blaine's pull on others. Blaine was gorgeous and popular, so of course there would be other guys to woo him, like Sebastian had. But Kurt had been so sure that their love was strong and Blaine would resist. How could Kurt have been so mistaken? Was the bond between them even real? Could it be that Blaine had never been as devoted to their relationship as Kurt had been? Could it be that, being a silly romantic, Kurt had just made it all up in his head?

Kurt hid his face in his hands, biting his lips hard and trying hard to fight back the tears.

"What's wrong, honey?"

Kurt looked up to see Isabelle standing in front of him with concerned eyes.

Kurt couldn't answer; his throat was too tight. But Isabelle was a mind-reader. She just took a look at the flowers and Kurt's miserable state and understood.

"Do you need the day off?" she offered.

Kurt considered this for a second before fiercely shaking his head. "No," he said at last. "No, work helps to keep my mind off of things."

"All right," Isabelle agreed. "But let me know when things are getting tough, okay?"

He nodded with a thin smile and watched her walk away. Then his eyes rested on the yellow and red roses again. Yellow and red. Friendship and love. His eyes filled with unwanted tears and he had to take a deep breath and swallow hard to regain his composure. "Agnes," he called out to a co-worker who was just walking by. "Could you please take these with you?"

The girl with the brown short hair and blue eyes stared at him inquiringly. "The roses? Where should I put them?"

"I don't know," Kurt said with a one-sided shrug. "Hand them out to guests maybe. I don't want them. I can't stand their smell."

"What a pity," Agnes said, taking the bunch of roses from his desk. "They're beautiful." She carried them away and Kurt bowed his head, feeling guilty all of a sudden, as if he had betrayed Blaine by rejecting his forgive-me gift. But then he raised his head up high and gave a snort. What was rejecting a bunch of flowers compared to rejecting their whole relationship?

Kurt took over shifts of his co-workers, took double workloads to be able to stay in the office as long as possible. He dreaded going home. Dreaded the sleepless nights. Hated Rachel talking about NYADA and reminding him that he was missing out on something that he used to want. He loved Rachel; she was his best friend and he didn't know what he would do without her. Still, she wouldn't stop bugging him about applying to NYADA again.

He still loved singing, yes, sometimes he still hummed or whistled a tune. But Broadway had always been Rachel's department and being on stage in the spotlight had been Blaine's metier. He never had minded Blaine's success; he had always been proud of Blaine as long as he had been his best friend, his boyfriend, his partner in crime, the love of his life. What were they now? What could they be?

Kurt loved designing clothes. Always had. Always would. Lately it had become some kind of rescue. He could lose himself for hours into designing. He wasn't as good at sketching his ideas with pen on paper, but he was good at envisioning and bringing up to life his ideas by stitching up samples with an exclusive assortment of fabrics and needles and scissors close at hand.

Isabelle allowed him to fool around, work on his own ideas, be creative with leftovers in the dress design department. He loved stitching fabrics up, putting pieces together into something new and beautiful, something bold and flamboyant. It took his mind off of things. It made him feel useful, successful even with Isabelle's praise. Yes, fashion was his own thing.

He couldn't remember a time when he hadn't planned his outfits, always creating his own clothes.

Even when he had been a small kid he had played dressing up together with his mom. He had told his mom what to wear and which accessories to take. He had been lonely when she had died. So he had occupied himself by planning outfits for himself. Dressing up. Looking the best he could.

He would be in the design room of Vogue all by himself, no radio, no music, just the noise of the New York traffic coming in through the windows and the cutting of scissors through fabric and the sound of the sewing machine. He didn't mind being alone in those hours. Sometimes Isabelle stopped by to examine his progress, admire his ideas, and give him helpful advice on how to breathe life into his ideas.

Kurt was still in the office late one night, working on an outfit. He wore a wrist pin cushion to stick needles and other working devices into and have everything ready to hand. The strap was fastened tightly around his wrist, but he didn't mind.

"Watch out, sweetie," Isabelle said, pointing at his wrist. "That strap seems awfully tight. You don't want to bruise your wrist."

"Thanks," Kurt replied. "See you tomorrow."

She blew him a kiss and was gone.

Kurt took the wrist strap off and made a wordless exclamation of pain. He hadn't been aware of how deep the strap had cut into his skin, making it sore and red.

It did hurt, and when Kurt got home he spend the rest of the night treating his sore skin with ointment and staring at the bruise, until he realized that the lingering pain on his wrist took off his mind of the pain in his heart.

He settled back under the covers, crying into his pillow, not caring about puffy eyes in the morning. He would use the allergy excuse, it had worked before. It was just that he felt so vulnerable and lonely and pathetic and guilty, a bad mix of everything.

How was one supposed to recover from something like this?

How was one supposed to just move on?

Kurt hadn't thought that he was so easy to replace. Of course it would be easy for Blaine to find someone new – he was gorgeous and popular – but that he'd actually go and look for someone. Kurt hadn't expected that.

* * *

**Flashback **

**Grease**

_Relationships are about trust and I don't trust you anymore._

Seeing Blaine on that stage, dressed all in white, the innocent teen angel – it sickened Kurt. Yes, Blaine had been Kurt's teenage dream right from the start. Perhaps that had been the problem.

Kurt had been drunken with Blaine's attention, the attention of a guy who – let's face it – was out of his league. Of course other guys would be chasing Blaine. Kurt wasn't the only one who could see how stunning Blaine was. And when Kurt hadn't been around to tell him how awesome he was, Blaine had looked for affirmation elsewhere. That's it. That's the whole story. Right? It was simple as that.

It didn't matter how sorry Blaine was after his cheating. He had betrayed Kurt's trust, and more than that, he had fed Kurt's insecurities. Once more Kurt felt like he wasn't good enough for anything or anyone.

It hurt to watch Blaine on that stage, singing as beautifully as always. It hurt to see him. It hurt so much Kurt couldn't breathe. When the show was over, Kurt almost literally jumped out of his seat, fleeing out of the auditorium, just away from this place. This place that used to be his home and was nothing but a place of mistrust and betrayal anymore.

He was grateful that Rachel was by his side, staying close to him, although she had to fight her own demons with Finn. When Blaine went after him, Kurt just wanted to run away. He was scared of the confrontation, although it had been what he had originally come for.

"Kurt, I need to talk to you."

Blaine had put on his sad puppy eyes, as if he was the one hurting, as if he was the one who had been wronged.

"I'm not interested," Kurt replied. He dug his nails into his palms to keep himself from crying and screaming, it was all he could do to keep his voice level and appear superior although he felt small and beaten. He wanted to keep at least some little bit of dignity when standing before Blaine, but it was hard to even look him into the eye. So he turned and walked away.

Blaine went after him. "I never told you about what happened..."

Kurt didn't want to hear a thing about Blaine and this _guy_. He didn't want to know any details that would go round and round in his head. Also, he didn't want to have any blame thrown his way, to hear Blaine making accusations and telling him how shitty a boyfriend he had been. Offense is the best defense. So Kurt decided to play it strong and not give Blaine a chance to get his say.

"Relationships are about trust and I don't trust you anymore."

He turned his back on Blaine and ran.

Had Blaine really expected him to listen to the details of his infidelity? He didn't want to know a thing, but not knowing allowed his imagination to run free. He started torturing himself by picturing Blaine with this nameless, faceless guy who in Kurt's wild imagination was all hot and experienced and exciting. Probably the same type as Sebastian.

What had it felt like for Blaine to kiss this guy, to touch him and be touched by him? Was it way different than the way he had been with Kurt? The guy must be a sex god, impossible to resist, to be able to turn Blaine into a cheater.

But what if it was just some regular guy? Just somebody available? Had their relationship been that insecure that anybody had been able to snatch Blaine away from him?

The more he twisted it around in his head, the more paranoid he became.

_Stop it!_ he scolded himself. _Stop thinking about it. _

He still wore a tight rubber band around his wrist to pinch himself whenever his thoughts wandered off, forcing his mind to go blank.

Once he and Rachel were back in the car, she turned to him. "Are you all right?"

He just nodded. He couldn't speak out loud what was going through his head, because it was dark and miserable and hateful.

* * *

**Present**

**At the Tic-Toc Diner**

When Kurt saw them sitting at the table, his initial impulse was to turn around and walk right out again. He didn't want to face them and be the subject of interrogation. But they were his friends; they worried about him and deserved to know what was really going on.

He loved both of them so much. Rachel was his rock, his best friend no matter what. Blaine had been his confidant and his lover, his soulmate. They both knew him in a way no one else did. Which made it even harder for him to deal with them.

He was afraid to disappoint them and shatter the way they saw him. He had been able to fool them so far, especially Rachel. What would they think of him once he revealed the ugly truth? He didn't want to make them uncomfortable or awkward; he didn't want to make them feel guilty on his behalf.

For a long second Kurt hid behind a plant, watching his waiting friends.

Rachel's hair was tied up in a messy ponytail, her face serious and sorrow-stricken. It gave him a pang in the heart to see her like that. He had moved out to spare her the pain of seeing him at his weakest, but still she had found out.

Blaine looked tired and unshaven, yet wide awake and fidgety. His fingers were flicking through the menu restlessly, but his eyes didn't follow.

_Still the cutest_, Kurt thought by himself._ Especially with stubble. _

Kurt instantly knew that it was pointless to put up a fake cheerfulness, so he didn't bother to try. His boots felt heavy as if they were iron-made as he crossed the last few steps towards the table.

Rachel looked up with such an expression of pure relief that Kurt felt guilty immediately.

"Kurt! You came!"

Kurt slumped into the bench next to Rachel. "Yes, here I am, as promised."

"Are you all right?" Rachel asked him with concern-filled eyes.

"Dealing with a hell of a headache, but fine otherwise," Kurt replied, shooting a glance over to Blaine who had his lips sealed to a thin line and remained silent.

"Sorry for spoiling your Friday night," Kurt went on. "I didn't mean to be such a bother to you, guys. I can understand that you're mad at me."

"No one is mad at you, Kurt." Rachel's face mellowed, but her worry was still palpable. "Do you mind taking your shades off?" Rachel asked, pointing at his sunglasses.

"I'd rather not. It was a rough night and I don't look my best."

"Kurt, please," Rachel begged.

Hesitatedly Kurt took his shades off, revealing heavy-lidded eyes with dark circles.

"Oh Kurt, you look awful!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Thank you very much," Kurt replied. "I'd like to remind you that you didn't look any better in the mornings after crying yourself to sleep after you and Finn broke up."

"That was a year ago," Rachel said, but then she looked up as if just realizing something. "And come to think of it, I never saw _you_ cry back then. I mean, you guys broke up at the same time," Rachel said with a nod towards Blaine.

"Well, it would have been too much if we both had been bawling our eyes out, don't you think?" Kurt said dismissively. "Someone had to keep a clear head to help you through your heartbreak, Rachel."

"Are you saying you stepped back to be my friend?" Rachel asked, obviously baffled. "Oh, my God. How did I not see this? You must have bottled up all your pain and now it hits you one year later."

"Rachel," Kurt tried to cut in.

"I've just been focusing on my own heartache instead of helping you with yours," Rachel went on. "I guess I just always thought you guys would get back together in no time."

"Do we really have to discuss this now and here, Rachel?" Kurt asked with a significant glance towards Blaine.

"If you want me to leave, I'll leave," Blaine offered. It was the first thing he'd said.

Kurt found he was taken aback. Was Blaine really just concerned that he was making Kurt uncomfortable? Or was it rather that Blaine didn't want to be here and was looking for a way to escape? Clearly, he must have had enough of Kurt's drama.

"You can leave if you want to," Kurt replied with a weak voice, hating himself for sounding so beaten.

"No, I want to stay," Blaine said quickly, after realizing his unfortunate choice of words. "I just don't want you to feel like we're teaming up against you, because we aren't."

"We're just worried about you," Rachel confirmed with a nod.

"Yeah, I got that," Kurt replied, putting on a thin smile. "And I'm thankful for your concern. I admit that I got myself into some kind of mess, but I'm already working my way out of it. I understand that you want to lend me a hand, but, the thing is, I have to figure this out on my own."

"No, you don't." Rachel shook her head fiercely. "We're going to help you. You can rely on us, Kurt."

She covered his cold hand with her warm fingers, making him shiver and notice how cold he was. "Please come back home. It's not good for you to live with him."

"Andrew isn't my problem," Kurt replied gently.

"Yeah, so you say, but he's definitely part of it," Blaine interjected. „What does your dad say about Andrew? Does he like him?"

Rachel scoffed. "Doesn't know about him more likely."

Kurt shot Rachel a look. "My dad's got more important things on his plate than listening to me going on about my love life."

"I'm sure he'd at least want to know that you're living with someone whose name isn't Rachel Berry," Rachel said with her eyebrows arched.

"Are you threatening to tell him?" Kurt asked, frowning.

"No need, because you'll be coming back," Rachel said resolutely.

Kurt let out a deep sigh of surrender. He needed to take control of the situation, but it was hard once Rachel Berry had her mind set on a goal.

"I don't think so," Kurt replied stubbornly. "I told you, I'm saving money and my workplace is just around the corner. Why should I give that up?"

"Okay," Rachel said. "I'll leave you alone if you can answer one question."

"All right, I'm listening," Kurt turned to look at her.

"What are you hiding underneath your scarf?" Rachel asked gently.

Feeling nervous and exposed, he blurted the first thing that came to mind. "I think you've seen hickeys before, Rachel."

"I've seen hickeys, yes," Rachel said. "But strangling bruises, no."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kurt replied, avoiding her gaze.

"Then what were the bruises I saw on your neck yesterday?" Blaine asked carefully.

Kurt huffed. "I'm not going to tell you details of my sex life."

"A sex life which is non-existent as Andrew complained to me last night," Blaine interjected.

Kurt wrung his hands, but his face revealed nothing. "You're not here to team up against me, huh?" he remarked in a dry voice. Kurt did his best not to shift in his seat restlessly. He knew he shouldn't feel uncomfortable around them. They were his friends, but still he felt like this was an interrogation.

"Kurt, please," Rachel said, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "We're not here to attack you. We're here to convince you that it's best for you to leave Andrew."

Funnily, Kurt could tell that they had rehearsed this conversation. He smiled for good measure. "I know that you mean well, Rachel. But you have to trust that I know what I'm doing."

Rachel shook her head, slowly, sadly. "I can't trust you with this."

"Look," Blaine cut in again. "What would you advise Chandler to do if his boyfriend abused him?"

"Chandler doesn't have a boyfriend," Kurt replied matter-of-factly.

"Hypothetically speaking."

"I'd tell him to have some self-respect and get rid of that jerk."

"There you go," Rachel said. "Here's your answer, Kurt."

"I'm telling you, it's not like that," Kurt argued.

"Then tell us what's going on, please," Rachel pleaded, still clutching Kurt's hand.

It remained silent for a long moment in which Kurt just couldn't find the words to talk about what was happening to him.

"May I see your wrist?" Rachel asked gently when it was clear that Kurt couldn't speak.

Slowly Kurt pulled back his sleeve. He noticed how Blaine inhaled deeply, preparing for the sight of the ugly bruises. Instead Kurt revealed a neat white bandage, wrapped tight around his wrist, secured with a little metal clasp.

"There's nothing to see, really," Kurt said to Rachel. "I hurt myself, but it's healing already, and it's got nothing to do with Andrew."

"How did you hurt yourself?" Rachel asked.

"I…" For a moment Kurt stalled for time. He rubbed his lips together, wetting them. "It was stupid, really," he confessed. "I know that now. But at the time I was just trying to do something to release the pain."

Alarmed, Rachel's brows shot up. "Did you cut yourself?"

"No, not like that." Kurt shook his head. "I wore a rubber band and then later some kind of wire."

Rachel's eyes widened at that. "Oh, my God. Why did you do that?"

"I just…" Kurt's eyes flickered from Rachel to Blaine, his cheeks burning with shame. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," Rachel urged in a soft, gentle voice.

"I can't," Kurt said, shaking his head. "But I'm not doing it anymore, all right? I'm not hurting myself, I promise."

Kurt flinched when Blaine reached across the table and took hold of Kurt's other hand. Blaine gently stroked his thumb over the back of Kurt's hand and looked at him with sincere eyes.

"We'll get through this," Blaine said hoarsely as if he was about to cry. "Together. I'm here for you."

Kurt stared at Blaine's hand on his and felt paralyzed. He found he couldn't move, or didn't want to. He felt drained and empty and just wanted to surrender.

"All right, then it's settled," Rachel declared.

Kurt looked up warily. He had lost the thread of the conversation. "What is?"

"You're coming with us," Rachel decided. "We'll bring you home and get your stuff out of Andrew's apartment later."

"No," Kurt said, retrieving his hands out of both his friend's grasp. "Not today."

"Why not?" Blaine asked, clearly taken aback by Kurt's fierce reaction.

"Andrew's waiting outside for me," Kurt explained and got up. "He's taking me to go shopping. I have to go now."

"Screw him!" Blaine said and rose from his seat as well.

"Blaine..." Kurt stared into those hazel eyes for a long second in which both boys were holding their breath. Then he turned on his heel and headed to the door, sliding his sunglasses back on.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! :)**

**Reviews?**


	15. Please vote for me! :)

**Hello my dearest wonderful readers! ****Can I just say that I LOVE YOU ALL! :D**

**I just got the exciting news by the host of the 2013 Glee fanfic awards that I have been nominated enough times to be named a finalist for BEST MYSTERY FIC (No Regrets) and best mystery fic writer! I didn't even know there was such a thing! **

**I can't tell you how proud I am to hear this! I may have cried when I read the message. I feel like Kurt felt when he learned that he was a NYADA finalist! So happy! :D**

**Thank you all of you guys a million for VOTING for me and considering my story worthy an award! I can't tell you enough how much this means to me and it definitely encourages me to hurry up with my updates! Thank you so much for your support! :)**

**~ . ~**

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**It looks like I am the ONLY KLAINE fanfic writer! I'm up against stories about Brittana, Finchel, Sam/Quinn and Sam/Mercedes.**

**I can't believe I am the only Klaine fanfic writer nominated for this! Wow! O.o**

**~ . ~**

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	16. Chapter 15 - Pursuit

**Thanks everyone for your love and support and your patience with my slow writing! :)**

**This is Blaine's POV again.**

* * *

******Chapter 15 - Pursuit**

**Present**

Blaine just stood there, motionless, watching Kurt leave.

He didn't know what to do. Hell, he didn't know what to _think_. What had just happened? What did Kurt just confess? Was it what Blaine was thinking? Was Kurt actually _hurting_ himself? Was he _allowing_ Andrew to hurt him?

Blaine wanted to run after Kurt, but his feet were glued on the floor while his thoughts were running in circles. He was in no position to judge Kurt. They weren't best friends anymore; hell, they weren't _anything_ right now. He could only offer his hand, but he couldn't make Kurt take it. And it was obvious that Kurt didn't trust him; why should he listen to what Blaine had to say? Perhaps he should go and kidnap Kurt and bring him to Rachel's for shelter. But Kurt might scream blood and murder if he tried. What was he supposed to do?

Blaine's internal dilemma only lasted a couple of seconds before he was brought back into action when Rachel grabbed his hand and pulled him along.

"Come on, don't just stand there," she murmured and headed towards the exit. Once again Blaine was grateful for her decidedness. Without her he probably would have mulled over his options for hours. Besides, she was Kurt's best friend. She was in a position to call him out on his facade.

They left the diner together. On the street Blaine caught a glimpse of Kurt getting into the passenger's seat of a car. Blaine recognized the car as Andrew's BMW. Again, before Blaine could think about what to do Rachel was already hailing a cab and shoving Blaine inside.

"Follow that car!" she instructed the driver. "The black BMW!"

"But don't make it look like we're following them," Blaine added.

"Ignore red lights if you have to!" Rachel declared.

The driver gave them a look that clearly stated that he couldn't care less about their rally and slowly turned into the street.

Rachel was on the edge of her seat, her gaze set on the BMW further down the road.

"Blaine," Rachel said, her voice low and serious while she was squeezing his hand hard. Only now Blaine noticed that she was trembling all over. Despite her bravery she still needed his hand to anchor herself. "Things are way more serious than I'd imagined. I had no idea," she whispered and turned to look at him. "I noticed that something was wrong with him, but I didn't think it was anything like _this_."

Blaine nodded. He understood what she was saying, but he felt weirdly out of it. Everything felt surreal, like he was stuck in a nightmare. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Kurt was harming himself. Kurt, who had always been the strongest and bravest and most confident boy Blaine had ever met. Of course, he also knew about Kurt's insecurities and his occasional self-doubts. But everybody has bad days; you just shouldn't let them turn into weeks and months.

"Don't lose them!" Rachel shouted, and Blaine flicked back to reality in time to see that the BMW had just turned a corner and their cab was stuck in traffic.

"Go on! Drive!" Rachel yelled, but the driver just shrugged and motioned to the jam in front of them.

"Drive over the pavement!" Rachel shouted angrily, making Blaine jump. The driver didn't seem to think Rachel's command was worth any reply. Instead he turned the radio on.

"Fine, we're out!" Rachel threw a couple of dollar bills into the front and then jumped out of the cab to continue their pursuit on foot. Blaine had to hurry to keep up with her. They turned around the corner and saw the black BMW vanish inside of a parking garage.

"Thank God, the mall," Rachel said, hurrying along, glad she wore her sneakers. "They're going shopping. We'll find them there."

"Rachel, wait," Blaine linked his arm through hers to keep her by his side. "What are we going to do when we find them?"

She looked up at him, pure desperation in her dark eyes. "I don't know," she replied with a slight shrug. "Something. _Anything_."

They approached the entrance of the high building, leading into the mall. The hallways were surprisingly crowded for a Saturday morning. "Tourists," Rachel muttered bugged out, trying to see over the head of people walking in front of her.

They resumed holding hands to not lose each other in the crowd, but also Blaine had the feeling that Rachel kind of needed physical contact right now. She had been craving a friend since Blaine had arrived. Obviously she missed being close to Kurt. Blaine knew the feeling.

Blaine watched her when Rachel got her phone out with her free hand and looked through her contacts.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked nervously. "Who do you want to call?"

"Do I sound calm?" Rachel asked him in a panicky voice, with the phone on her ear. "I need to sound calm. I can't sound like I'm freaking out."

"Whom are you calling?" Blaine repeated his question.

"Hello, Burt!" Rachel said into the phone, sounding like she was hyperventilating. "Hi, it's Rachel. How do you do? Gosh, we haven't talked for ages!"

For a split second Blaine was irritated that Rachel was pulling Kurt's father into this mess. But then he realized that this was the only right thing to do. Burt had to know what was going on with his son.

"No, everything's fine," Rachel just chirped. "Say, how fast can you get on a plane? No, nothing happened, I'm just calling because I think Kurt needs you. He wouldn't admit it or ask you to come, but I really think he needs to see you. So, if you could arrange to come within the next couple of days that'd be great. And don't tell Kurt you're coming! Make it a surprise, all right?"

She hung up after Burt promised her to be on his way. "Did I sound frantic?"

"I think you just scared Burt to death." Blaine smiled at her, feeling utterly relieved now that a grown-up was coming to talk some sense into Kurt. "But it was the right thing to do, Rachel."

"Well, he's coming, that all that counts."

"I can't believe that Burt doesn't know about what going on in Kurt's life," Blaine said, stepping on an escalator. "I mean, how come he doesn't even know that Kurt moved in with Andrew?"

"It's complicated," Rachel said, puffing out a breath. "They're not really on speaking terms."

"_What_?" Blaine did a double take and stared at Rachel in utter disbelief. "Did you just say that Kurt and his dad aren't talking?"

"Well, no more than small talk that is." They reached the top and paused at the railing, surveilling the mall's customers below in the hope of finding Kurt.

"Tell me what the deal is with Kurt and his dad," Blaine insisted, shuffling close to her while resting his arms on the railing.

"It's pretty bad to tell the truth," Rachel let out a sigh and brushed some loose curls back behind her ears.

"A few days after you guys broke up Kurt talked to his father and, well, apparently Burt said something like that you both were too young to be seriously committed to each other anyway and that it was only natural to look around at that age. He said that he had had a dozen girlfriends before he finally met Kurt's mother. Kurt was really upset about it, saying that he didn't need to fool around with other guys because he already knew that you were the one for him. But if you needed to get a taste of other guys, then he refused to be second choice."

Blaine cringed at hearing this. "He's never been second choice," he muttered. "If anything then my slip with that guy taught me that Kurt will always be the only one."

"The thing is that Burt defended you," Rachel went on. "Well, of course he wasn't okay with you cheating on Kurt, but he was sympathetic and told Kurt that perhaps you two just needed a break to figure things out. Oh, and Kurt was so angry, telling me something about Burt once saying that Kurt shouldn't throw himself around and now he was basically telling Kurt the opposite. But Kurt didn't want to date different people just to find out that he only wants you in the end," she paused, sucked in some air and gave him a crumbled look, "which of course he'd never admit to you after what you'd pulled."

"And then _you_ encouraged him to date other guys," Blaine finished, not in an accusatory but resigned way. "And he met Andrew."

"How could I have known that Andrew was an asshole?" Rachel replied defensively, but sounding guilty anyway.

"So, Kurt hasn't talked to his dad since?" Blaine asked in disbelief.

"Burt called me a couple of times after that because Kurt would ignore his calls," Rachel explained. "I was able to convince Kurt to stop acting like a pouting three-year-old and speak to his father again, but as far as I know they never really talked things out; it's only bla bla and unimportant small talk now."

"That's pretty bad," Blaine said, slumping forward against the railing.

"It is," Rachel confirmed. "That's why I hope that Kurt will break down his walls when they're face to face. He needs to start trusting his dad again. To tell the truth I've been toying with the idea of inviting Burt for a while now, but I've never had a good enough reason to interfere. Now I wish I'd done it sooner."

"Do you think Burt could have prevented any of this?" Blaine made a vague gesture, capturing the whole of the mall in front of them, but refering to the mess that Kurt had admitted to be in.

"I don't know," Rachel shrugged. "But when I'm feeling blue my dads always make me better. And Kurt still loves his dad, but I guess right now he's pushing everybody away."

Blaine was about to reply to her when he caught a glimpse of the blue military jacket Kurt had been wearing earlier. He squinted his eyes to see better into the distance and quickly scanned the guy wearing it – big sunglasses, neatly coiffed hair, a pokerface – and was positive it was Kurt.

"Down there!" he pointed over the railing and grabbed Rachel's arm. "Hurry before he's lost in the crowd."

"Is Andrew with him?" Rachel asked as they elbowed their way towards the escalator again.

"Didn't see him, but quite possible."

Of course Andrew was close to Kurt, not stepping an inch away from him as they strolled through the mall. Blaine and Rachel kept track of them, but also kept a distance and hid quickly whenever Andrew turned around.

Finally they followed Kurt and Andrew into a store for men's clothes and hid behind the racks, watching them from behind shirts and jeans. Blaine knew that his behavoir was stalkerish, but Rachel was with him as his partner in crime.

"What are we doing?" Blaine whispered next to Rachel's ear, leaning against a pillar.

"Wait til we get him alone," Rachel replied. "Andrew can't stick on him forever."

But it looked exactly like that. Andrew was a very touchy-feely person and his hand seemed to be constantly stuck on Kurt's back or his arm. Blaine knew that Kurt didn't like to be touched very much, at least not in public. But perhaps that had only been the case in high school in Ohio. Perhaps in New York Kurt had become more relaxed about allowing PDA.

Blaine wished he could be the one experiencing this with Kurt. He wished that someday he could hold Kurt's hand in public. They had never had the chance to do so back in Lima.

Kurt half-heartedly selected some shirts and Andrew fetched him some more, pointing out how good they'd look on Kurt. Blaine dug his nails into his palms to stop himself from letting out a frustrated yell.

Kurt went to the row of changing cubicles and finally Andrew left him alone to go fetch some more clothes. Blaine saw his chance. He hurried over to the changing room Kurt was in and snuck in without any warning, drawing the curtain shut again behind him.

Kurt let out a yelp of surprise. "Blaine! What...?"

But Blaine was just as struck as Kurt was, staring open-mouthed at his ex's naked chest.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kurt hissed at him, quickly holding the shirt he was about to put on in front of him as if hiding in modesty. But it was too late. Blaine had already seen the bruises covering his bare chest and his arms. "Oh, my God, Kurt..."

Kurt's face changed into a mask of stone. "Get out, Blaine!"

"No, Kurt, did... did Andrew do this to you?"

"Stop following me around, Blaine, that's creepy!" Kurt whisper-shouted, clutching the shirt in front of him and backing into the corner of the cubicle. "And don't you dare judge me!"

"I'm not judging you," Blaine whispered back, "but I'd like to get my hands on Andrew for bullying you."

"He's not..." Kurt started for the hundredth time, but Blaine cut him off.

"He shoves you up against walls, he grabs you so hard it leaves bruises, he physically hurts you, Kurt, that's bullying! You can't hide it anymore; he's hurting you. I remember you giving that amazing speech about how you refuse to be bullied, how you refuse to let anyone be bullied. What's become of that?"

"It's not bullying if I _want_ it that way," Kurt replied in a low voice, and for a long second they stared at each other, both shaken by the words.

"Maybe I'm a masochist, who knows?" Kurt went on with a shrug, sparing Blaine the question why he would want to get hurt. "All I know is that the physical pain distracts me from the pain inside."

Blaine slowly shook his head in disbelief as tears pricked his eyes. "If you're asking for it... that's like self-harm," Blaine said in a murmur.

Kurt opened his mouth to say something, when they suddenly heard a high-pitched woman's voice singing _If My Sister's In Trouble_ from _Sister Act_.

Kurt looked up alarmed.

"Is that Rachel?" Blaine wondered with a puzzled look, but already Kurt shoved his jacket over Blaine's head and pushed him down by the shoulders. "Get down," he hissed, and Blaine hunched down on the low chair.

A second later there was Andrew's voice from outside the changing rooms.

"Kurt, babe? Where are you?"

Blaine peeked from underneath the jacket and Kurt put his finger on his lips to signal Blaine to keep quiet.

"I'm in here," he called out and stuck his head out, holding the curtain so that Andrew couldn't look inside.

"Look what I've found, something glittery! You like it?"

"The color's not very flattering," Kurt replied drily.

"Have you changed into the jeans? Let me take a look at you," Andrew was grabbing the curtain but Kurt held on tight. "Don't! You don't want people to see me half naked, do you?"

There was something in Kurt's voice. It wasn't a flirty remark, it was what it was. You don't want people to see the bruises you left on my body.

Kurt took a pair of pants on hangers from the hook behind him and shoved them at his boyfriend. "Can you go and get me these one size smaller? And look for a matching belt in the last aisle, will you?"

"Anything for you, babe." Andrew disappeared again and Blaine let out the breath he had been holding. When Kurt had turned his back to him to talk to Andrew, Blaine could see the bruises on his shoulders and down his spine and his sides. Some were already yellowish, fading away, others were shining in bright purple and blue, making Blaine feel sick just from looking at them.

Kurt turned to face him again and noticed the distressed expression on Blaine's face.

"Turn around," Kurt instructed him and when Blaine didn't move, Kurt shot him a death glare. "Turn around and let me get dressed!"

Hesitantly Blaine did as he was told. "What was that singing about?" Blaine asked, still bewildered.

"Oh, Rachel and I have a secret warning code," Kurt informed him with a little chuckle. "Any song from _Sister Act_ means immediate danger.

Blaine had to laugh, but it was nerves and tension rather than happiness. "Why _Sister Act_?"

"It's just an excuse to burst out into song and we both love _Sister Act,_" Kurt replied, buttoning up his shirt as Blaine could see from out of the corner of his eyes. "Also, it reminds me of Mercedes and how strong she is and it kind of encourages me to be the same. Jacket, please."

Blaine turned around and helped Kurt into his jacket, placing his hands on the top of his shoulders and looking into the narrow mirror in front of them. Their eyes met in the reflection.

"I want you back, Kurt," he whispered close to Kurt's ear. "I don't want to live without you. The past year has been hell without you. I tried to respect your wish not to talk to me, but I missed you like crazy. Every day was torture."

"That's all I wanted, too, back then," Kurt said, his voice husky. "I only wanted to be with you, Blaine."

"Then give me 24 hours," Blaine begged, "to prove to you that I love you."

Kurt stared at him in the mirror, a smile forming on his lips. "Just like the song?"

"Just like the song," Blaine repeated.

"You haven't changed a bit," Kurt said, and it sounded wistful. "You're still the boy who won me over by singing _Teenage Dream_. But I have changed," Kurt stated matter-of-factly. "I'm not the same person anymore."

"I know," Blaine said, squeezing Kurt's shoulders tighter. "And I love you just as much as I loved you back then. Because no matter how much you change, deep within you'll always be Kurt Hummel, the son of a mechanic from a cowtown in Ohio. You'll always be the boy with big dreams and the need to break free and create a world that's all yours."

"I'm tired of dreaming," Kurt let out a sigh and turned around, facing Blaine. "Reality is a bitch and the big dream is no more than a stupid illusion."

"Twenty-four hours, that's all I'm asking for," Blaine murmured and shuffled closer. "Starting now."

Blaine framed Kurt's face with both hands, ignoring the way Kurt flinched slightly, eyes wide and alarmed.

"I'm going to kiss you now," Blaine breathed and closed the last inch of space between them by laying his mouth on Kurt's.

Kurt stiffened, but he didn't move away. Blaine increased the pressure on Kurt's lips, getting delirious on the taste of his ex-boyfriend while his body was remembering a whole lot of the physical that had happened between them. He could feel that Kurt was melting, surrendering into the kiss as if he remembered, too, and was eager to revive those memories and turn them into something real again.

Kurt's right hand moved up to touch the side of Blaine's face, lingering on his skin in a gentle caress, scratching the stubble on Blaine's cheek and chin as if he had been yearning to touch it. Blaine leaned into Kurt's hand, loving the contact, but the hand was moving on up with Kurt's fingers digging into Blaine's hair, pulling at it lightly.

Blaine pressed himself against Kurt, breathing hard and savoring the way Kurt's mouth moved on his own and the way Kurt's hands now both clung to Blaine's arms, his fingers painfully digging into his flesh, but Blaine didn't mind the pain as long as Kurt was the one causing it.

Blaine didn't let go of Kurt, waiting for the inevitable moment when Kurt had to gasp for air. He conquered Kurt's mouth, still so familiar with the wonderful warmth and the softness of his ex-boyfriend's tongue and the way they used to toy around, kissing for hours and hours, losing themselves into exploring each other, never getting enough of the taste of one another...

Kurt let out a whiny noise, pulling away from Blaine and stumbling back against the wall with a look in his eyes that was pure heartache.

"Kurt..." Blaine started saying, but Kurt shook his head once, then grabbed his sunglasses and put them back on.

"Don't let Andrew see you," he muttered and slid out of the changing room.

Blaine instantly followed him, not letting him get away that easily again.

Hurrying down the aisle Blaine saw that Rachel was holding Andrew up by asking him for advice on accessories. Before Andrew could turn and see them Kurt turned around again and grabbed Blaine by the arm, pulling him out of sight. "I told you don't let him see you," he repeated frantically.

"I'm not hiding from him any longer," Blaine said stubbornly. "Let him punch me again, I don't care. I'm not backing off."

Kurt scoffed. "That's not bravery, that's stupid, Blaine. You already have a reminder of your last encounter with him on your face." Kurt lifted his hand as if wanting to touch the small bruise on Blaine's chin, but decided against it, pulling his hand away as if burned.

"I won't let you leave with him," Blaine insisted.

They stared each other down until Kurt let out a resigned sigh.

"I'm not leaving, okay?" he promised. "Just let me get rid of him for a while so he won't interrupt us. Sound good?"

Blaine nodded. It was more than he could have hoped for.

"Stay here!" Kurt instructed, like Blaine was a dog, and shot him a stern look before he turned to walk down the aisle towards Andrew and Rachel.

"Rachel!" Kurt greeted her with a quick hug and a wink. "I know I promised you a helping hand with the bra section over at Victoria's Secret. Andrew, do you mind if I go with Rachel for half an hour?"

"Not at all," Andrew replied with a charming smile. "But I won't join you. No offense, Rachel, but I'm not interested in bras and stuff at all!"

"How about you go ahead to Starbucks and get me a strong coffee?" Kurt asked his boyfriend. "If I don't get any caffeine soon I'll fall asleep walking."

Blaine watched the small group leaving the store with Andrew turning right towards the coffee shop and Kurt linking arms with Rachel and heading to the woman's underwear store.

Blaine quickly crossed the hall and caught up with Kurt and Rachel between the white negligees and nightwear section of Victoria's Secret, hearing Kurt talking in a low and urgent voice to Rachel.

"Please stop following me, Rachel. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I don't want you to get hurt, either, Kurt," Rachel said, sniffing. "You know that Andrew is capable of hurting people, yet you stay with him."

"It was the reason I _chose_ to stay with him," Kurt confessed in a whisper. "It was the only thing that attracted me to him. See? It's my own fault. But I don't want him to hurt my friends, and if you and Blaine keep this up he might get angry and lash out at you, too. I'm going to deal with him myself. I want you guys to stay out of this."

"You can't seriously expect us to leave you alone with this, Kurt," Blaine said, stepping around a rack. "We'll help you through this. That's what friends are for."

"I couldn't have said it better," Rachel gave Blaine a conspiratorial wink.

Kurt straightened up, his face carefully set. "Then why do I feel like you two are drowning me? I get it that you're worried about me, but that's unnecessary. Andrew doesn't hurt me when I don't give him a reason to."

"All right. So, what kind of reason does it take?" Blaine asked challengingly. "Like when you forget to re-cap the toothpaste or you're sneezing too loud?"

Kurt lifted his chin and put his stubborn face on. "No, more like when he finds out that my ex-boyfriend kissed me in a changing room."

Rachel's eyes widened with joyful excitment. "You guys kissed?"

"Rachel," Kurt said, dragging out her name in annoyance.

"The point is," Blaine went on, dead serious, "I can't take the risk of him hurting you again, Kurt. No matter the reason, I can't let him lay a hand on you ever again."

Kurt shot a glance to the ceiling, doing his best not to roll his eyes. "Don't be all that dramatic! Look, I know you guys mean well, but right now you're complicating things for me. Please stop pressuring me about this. Please! I'm really worn out and tired. I can't argue with you about this now."

"Then stop arguing and come home with us," Rachel said matter-of-factly.

Kurt's face crumbled and he let out a shaky breath. "I can't just run away," he said in a raspy voice. "I have to talk to Andrew and face my problems."

"We're here for you," Rachel replied with a tight throat. "I'm going to hug you now," Rachel said put her arms around Kurt's middle, squeezing him tight. Kurt put his chin on her head and closed his eyes, hugging her back.

"I'm going to talk to Andrew today," Kurt murmured into Rachel's hair. "I'm telling him that I'm moving out again. He'll probably be glad, because I'm a danger to his furniture and he can't afford more broken stuff."

"One condition," Rachel said, holding Kurt at arm's length. "You're telling me Andrew's address. I need to know where I can send the cops to."

Kurt let out a raspy laugh. "All right, I'll tell you, but no cops, Rachel. We're not in a movie."

Kurt tapped his address into Rachel's phone and then hugged her goodbye. "I'll call you later."

"No, no, no," Blaine cut in. "You're _not_ going back to Andrew's at all!"

"It's not fair to him if I just disappear," Kurt replied. "Also, he knows where Rachel lives. I have to talk to him."

"No, you don't!" Blaine countered. "And who cares what's fair to a bully! There's no use talking to a guy like him! Just get out of there!"

"Stop it, Blaine," Kurt growled. "You're not the hero in this story and I'm not a damsel in distress. I don't need to be rescued, especially not by you."

With this Kurt turned on his heels and marched out of the store. Blaine couldn't help following him.

"I know I'm not a hero, Kurt!" he called after him and Kurt quickened his pace. "I'm just the stupid fool in love who made a mistake and I understand that you hate me!" Blaine caught up with Kurt, oblivious to the fact that people were starting to watch them. "But I can't watch you walk right back into the dragon's lair."

Kurt stopped in his tracks and took off his shades to give Blaine a very annoyed look, but when he looked into Blaine's sincere worried eyes his face softened.

"I don't hate you, Blaine. I never hated you," Kurt corrected, allowing him to see his vulnerability. "I wanted to, but I couldn't. I guess I loved you too much to ever be able to hate you."

"So instead of hating _me_, you started hating _yourself_?" Blaine tried to put the puzzle together.

It pained Blaine to see Kurt struggle to answer that question. He rubbed his fingertips against his eyebrows as if thinking, but Blaine sensed that Kurt just wanted to cover his face from his view.

"I really have to go, Blaine. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" Kurt started to walk away again, but Blaine moved quickly to block Kurt's way.

"How can you ignore the fact that I love you, Kurt?" Blaine said with his arms open wide, a desperate edge in his voice. "I'm here, standing in front of you and telling you that I LOVE YOU and that you're the most important person in the world for me. How can you just walk away?"

"You just say that, because you feel sorry for me," Kurt replied, acting unimpressed by Blaine's love declaration, but the slightest quiver in his voice betrayed his coolness.

"No!" Blaine let out an exasperated sigh. "To tell the truth right now I feel sorry for _myself,_ because you're too stubborn to believe me."

This response was unexpected, and Kurt couldn't help smiling. "You're such an idiot, Blaine Warbler," he replied with a grin.

"I know," Blaine replied. "I'm an idiot and I'm desperate. Yes, I made a mistake. A huge one. But I'm begging you, Kurt. I don't want you to become just somebody that I used to know. "

"What do you want to hear from me?" Kurt asked, exasperated. "I can't give you any promises."

"Give me a _chance_," Blaine pleaded. "Tell me what I can do to make you see that I'm serious. Anything, Kurt! I'd get the moon and the stars for you."

Kurt folded his arms in front of his chest. "I don't want the moon and the stars," he said, "but..."

"Yeah?" Blaine was all eager like a puppy.

"Do you remember my hippo brooch?"

"What? Yes, sure. Why?"

"Get it back for me," Kurt answered sternly.

Blaine furrowed his brows inquiringly. "What do you mean? Have you lost it?"

"Andrew took it and hid it somewhere, because he thinks it's ugly and doesn't want me to wear it," Kurt elaborated.

"All right," Blaine accepted the quest. "I'll get it back for you."

"Don't bother," Kurt said drily. "I already searched the whole apartment. I have no idea where Andrew hid it. Quite possibly he has thrown it into the trash already."

"Sounds like an impossible task then," Blaine tilted his head, narrowing his brows.

Kurt just shrugged. "No more impossible than the moon and the stars," he replied smugly and moved on towards the coffee shop where Andrew was waiting for him.

Blaine wanted to follow him, but Rachel came up to him and caught his arm. "What are we going to do now?"

"I have a plan," Blaine said slowly. "It's not a good one, not even very clever, but it's a plan."

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**Reviews? :)**


	17. Chapter 16 - Meeting Andrew

**Hello everyone! This has been a hard week. I'm still shaken and heartbroken about Cory. I'm sure most of you feel the same way. But looking at all of your wonderful tumblr blogs and seeing the way all of you guys spread love and support and words of comfort makes me proud to be part of the Glee fandom. Whatever happened to Cory please don't judge. Please continue to love, support and respect Lea and the cast. :) **

**Love and hugs to all of you! Please don't ever let life bring you down. Take care of yourselves! :)**

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******This is Kurt's POV.**

**Chapter 16**

**Flashback - Meeting Andrew**

"Sorry, but you can't get in. It's men only," the bouncer repeated strictly, crossing his arms as if to underline his statement.

Rachel looked beaten.

"Men only! What kind of a stupid rule is that?" she argued with the big man. "Let me in or I'm going to scream!"

"Come on, Rachel, it's okay," Kurt said, linking arms with her to steer her away. "I'm not in the mood for dancing anyway."

"That's a pity," someone behind them said.

Kurt and Rachel spun around to take a look at the man with the dazzling pleasant voice. It was a tall young guy with brown hair who had his gaze fixated on Kurt.

"Because I'd love to see you dance, sugar."

Rachel let out a joyful but rather embarrassing squeal, tightening her grasp on Kurt's upper arm and then whispered into Kurt's ear, "Gosh, he's cute!"

"Hi guys," the handsome man said nonchalantly and took a couple of steps towards them. "I'm Andrew."

"Hi!" Rachel breathed, batting her eyes at him in awe.

"This is Rachel," Kurt said, pointing at his brunette attachment. "I'm Kurt."

"Kurt? Really?" Andrew let out a little snort. "What kind of a stupid name is that?"

Kurt straightened up and gave him a bitch glare. "Excuse me?"

Andrew smiled at him wryly. "Don't worry. Apart from your antediluvian name you're really hot. Want to come along?" He nodded towards the _Babylon_ entrance.

"I'm not going anywhere without her," Kurt said, putting his hand above Rachel's that was still clinging to his arm.

"Oh, don't mind me!" Rachel said quickly. "Just go ahead, Kurt. Have fun! You deserve it."

"Listen to your friend," Andrew said with a grin. "I can show you around. The first time in the club can be a bit overwhelming, especially when you're from the country."

"I'm not from the country!" Kurt felt the need to point out. The guy was already annyoing him. Granted, he was curious about the club. Apart from the rather harmless Scandals in Lima he'd never been to a gay bar before. But he wasn't sure he wanted to go in there with a total stranger, so he quickly came up with an excuse. "Besides, I'm not 21 yet."

"No problem at all." Andrew presented a couple of fake ID's out of his shirt pockets. He flicked through them and then handed one to Kurt. "There you go. Your name for tonight is Justin Beaver."

"You've got to be kidding!" Kurt snitched the ID out of Andrew's hand to take a look at it. Indeed the name said _Justin_ _Beaver_. To his further astonishment Kurt had to admit that the guy in the picture resembled him.

Impressed, Kurt raised an eyebrow, but he couldn't hold back a snarky comment. "Say, do you traffic in human beings, or is this some kind of hobby of yours to always have an extra ID on you?"

"It's just for charity's sake," Andrew replied with a grin, clearly liking Kurt's witty mouth. "I have a big heart for gay kids that get left behind." Andrew leaned forward in a confidential manner and added with a wink, "But only the hotties."

Kurt pursed his lips skeptically. He wasn't used to being called a hottie.

"That's so exciting!" Rachel said. "Kurt, you need to go and tell me all about it afterwards!"

"I really don't want to leave you alone, Rachel," Kurt repeated and scrunched up his face.

"I'll be fine," Rachel assured him with a smile. "And it looks like you're in good hands, too."

"No worries, we're one big family," Andrew said charmingly. "We're watching out for one another."

"So, it's settled! Have fun!" Rachel gave Kurt a nudge. "I'll go home, read a book."

"Come on, _Justin_," Andrew said and unexpectedly grasped Kurt's hand.

For a second Kurt was too perplexed to free himself. He let Andrew hold his hand and followed him inside. Somehow it was nice to be holding hands with someone again. But it also made Kurt feel uncomfortable, so he wriggled his hand out of the man's grasp once they were inside the club.

"Stay close to me," Andrew said, and although Kurt didn't want to, he did as he was advised, because he was intimidated by the crowd. He'd never seen so many young gay men at the same place. But the closer he looked around and took in the scenery, the more disgusted he became. They were all checking one another out, looking for the best score, clearly just having one thing in mind. Always looking for the next one-night-stand.

Instantly he felt like a boy from the country indeed. Probably Andrew considered him easy prey. Then again, Andrew was extremely good-looking and could have anyone he wanted; why should he bother hitting on someone like Kurt? Perhaps it was the challenge. Or he already had done everybody in the room and wanted to taste new flesh?

Kurt shuddered at his own thoughts. Either way, he wouldn't let Andrew treat him like the next one-night-stand in line.

"Hey, don't wear your nose that high," Andrew smiled at him. "It makes you look like an arrogant bitch."

"Well, I _am_ a bitch," Kurt said off-handedly. "Better get used to it."

Andrew laughed at that. "Boy, I like the way you talk, Kurtsy."

"My name's _Kurt_," Kurt corrected him. "I don't like nicknames."

"Oh, come on, you're too extraordinary to have a boring name like that!" Andrew exclaimed.

"What makes you think I'm extraordinary?" Kurt raised a brow at him. "You've only known me for a couple of minutes."

"I can see it", Andrew replied with half a grin. "You're not like the others, you're _exotic_. I bet you like to be _adventurous_." He bend down to breathe into Kurt's ear. "If you stick with me I can promise you a night you'll never forget."

"You're the worst haruspex I've met so far," Kurt replied unimpressed, but highly amused. "Do you always flatter the new guys to get them to like you?"

"Woah, you didn't exaggerate when you said you were a bitch," Andrew laughed. "Let me introduce you to the gang."

Kurt bit down on his lips to hide his smile. He liked Andrew's bold speech. Also, he talked absolute bullshit; he didn't hit on Kurt by plain sweet-talking to him. He said out loud what he was thinking, just like Kurt did. Kurt didn't have to worry about saying the wrong things or unintentionally offending him.

So, he followed the tall guy to a small group of skinny guys wearing colorful shirts and knowing grins.

"Hey guys, this is Kurtsy." Again Andrew draped his arm around Kurt's shoulder to draw him near. "He's new in our little gaytown and I saw him first, so everyone keep your hands off!"

"Enchanté," one of them said and stepped forward to shake hands with Kurt.

"Pleasure," Kurt stuck out his hand, but Andrew quickly grasped it before his friend could and interlaced his fingers with Kurt's, pulling him close. "Don't bother learning their names, baby. We won't hang around with them very much."

Kurt blinked, irritated, but Andrew's friends seemed to be used to this kind of behavoir and were just rolling their eyes and laughing about it. "You're such a fucker, Drew!" one of them called out.

Before Kurt knew what was happening Andrew had led him into the midst of the dance floor where they were engulfed in the heat of the bodies surrounding them and the deafening beat of the music.

Andrew never let go of his hand and never broke eye contact as they danced, his eyes penetrating fiercely into Kurt's. After a minute of dancing Kurt was all sweaty, his hands, his neck, he even felt the sweat creep down into the small of his back; it was disgusting, but at the same time exciting.

Dancing in this club was dazzling, it was confusing, it was like the weirdest dream in which Kurt was the superstar of gaytown. He could feel everyone's eyes on him just as clearly as he felt Andrew's hands on him, exploring the shape of his arms, his back, his waist...

And it was too much! Too close! Too fast!

Kurt jerked away, blindly elbowing his way out of the crowd, wanting to vanish and never be found. Not by this guy. Not by anyone. Not ever.

He stopped at the counter, taking a deep breath, fighting the panic down. He wished he'd gone back home with Rachel, who was probably enjoying a hot chocolate on the couch and watching some chick flick. He climbed on a barstool to give his shaky legs some rest and gather his thoughts.

"Hello, handsome." Suddenly a guy with black hair, heavy stubble, and an oversized denim vest appeared at Kurt's side, flopping his butt on the stool next to him. "Haven't seen you before."

Before Kurt could tell stubble face to get off someone else grabbed the awful denim vest by the back and yanked the guy backwards, causing him to slip off the barstool and flailing with his arms to keep balance. Kurt was as startled as the guy was.

"This seat is already taken!" Andrew grumbled with a stern voice and claimed the seat next to Kurt for himself, ignoring the guy he'd just shoved around and waving for the barkeeper.

Kurt watched stubble face walk off, clearly not wanting any trouble. Then he rested his gaze on Andrew, who now sat next to him, all self-pleasing.

"Do you always treat people like that?" Kurt asked disapprovingly.

"No," Andrew replied all serious, looking straight into Kurt's eyes again. "But he was after something that I want, too, and I couldn't let him have it."

"Just so you know, I despise violence," Kurt stated.

"Me, too," Andrew replied quickly. "But sometimes action speaks louder than words and this dickhead's not worth talking to you."

"And you get to decide who's worth talking to me?" Kurt asked, baffled and amused.

"No," Andrew said calmly, "but you deserve to be with someone who can appreciate your beauty."

"And that would be you?" Kurt asked, trying to hide his amusement. Apparently his gay bar guide was big with words.

"At least I can recognize a pearl among marbles, and you're the most shiny pearl I've ever seen," Andrew replied and somehow managed to make such a cheesy line sound dead serious. "Call it crazy, call it fate, as long as you call me yours."

Kurt was repulsed and at the same time attracted by the straight-forward and confident way Andrew acted around him. They had only known each other for an hour and yet Andrew wooed him like Kurt was the brightest star in the room. It made Kurt think of how he had pined after Blaine for months until Blaine had realized they could be more than just friends. This was a guy who knew what he wanted straight away. Even if all he wanted was a one-night-stand.

"Let me get you a drink," Andrew said. "The cocktails in this joint are actually quite decent."

Kurt wasn't very fond of alcohol, not since the spectacular incident involving Ms Pillsbury's shoes anyway. But tonight was about leaving the past behind. It was time to grow up and do what grow-ups do. Isabelle kept talking about her fancy cocktail parties. He wasn't 21 yet, so what? It was just one drink.

"What do you recommend?" he asked, resting his chin on his hand.

"Definitely a _Kir Royale_ for you," Andrew replied. "Because you have the air of someone with royal blood."

"Really?" Kurt let out a laugh, not hiding the fact that he was enjoying himself anymore.

Andrew grinned at him. "You're graceful and elegant and you look down at everyone like they were your minions. Yes, definitely royalty."

"As much as I like being compared with such perfection as Kate Middleton, I'm afraid I have to disappoint you," Kurt replied jokingly. "I'm not a prince in disguise."

"Oh, you are," Andrew said, dropping his voice into an enticing low growl. "You just don't know it yet."

"Go on," Kurt replied in a flirty tone. It was nice to have someone tell him compliments, although he knew they were lies. "Tell me all your favorite hook-up lines."

After his second cocktail Kurt was laughing about everything that left Andrew's big mouth, no matter how stupid or cheesy or dull. He was still sitting on his barstool, but now leaning back against the counter and facing the dancing crowd while Andrew commented on everything and everyone, making Kurt feel like he already knew everybody's most embarrassing secrets.

"Just look at these deadheads," Andrew tsked and jerking his thumb at his so-called friends on the dance floor nearby. "They're always moving in on one another's boyfriends."

"It doesn't sound like you trust your friends very much," Kurt observed.

"I don't trust anyone," Andrew said, shrugging. "Especially not these manwhores lurking about in _Babylon_."

"Look who's talking," Kurt said, sipping his third cocktail. It was too sweet for his liking, but at the same time it was delicious.

Andrew raised a brow at him. "You think I'm like them?" He jerked his head around, capturing the crowd.

"Aren't you?" Kurt challenged.

"I have taste," Andrew replied. "I'm not fucking just anybody."

"Hear, hear," Kurt said, not very impressed by the guy's choice of words.

"I'd fuck you, though," Andrew said, grinning.

"That's very flattering," Kurt replied coolly and unimpressed, not taking Andrew's advances seriously. This guy was no more than a huge jerk.

"You know what would look stunning on you?" Andrew leaned closer, trailing his finger down Kurt's cheek until Kurt jerked away from the touch. "Some black eyeliner. Something to emphasize your eyes, because your eyes are amazing, especially with that dirty look that constantly tells me to go fuck myself."

A grin spread out on Kurt's face. "Exactly."

"See, we've only met and already I can read your mind," Andrew said, his left hand once more resting on Kurt's knee.

Kurt just rolled his eyes; he was annoyed by Andrew's persistence, but at the same time it was refreshing meeting someone who knew what he wanted and had the confidence to say it out loud. Unlike other people by the name of Blaine Anderson.

"You're playing hard to get, I like that in a man."

Kurt gave a snort. He wasn't playing a game, or was he? Was he actually flirting with this guy? If so, it wasn't serious. Granted, Andrew was good-looking, but he wasn't Kurt's type at all.

Kurt didn't know how much time had passed when he found himself kneeling in front of the toilet, puking his guts out. All he knew was that he'd been dancing and it had been fun losing himself in the crowd and the deafening music until the DJ put on _Teenage_ _Dream._ Suddenly he had felt sick to his stomach. It had all come rushing back when he'd least expected it, the missing, the guilt and hurt and sorrow, but mostly the need and the longing.

Katy Perry's voice turned into Blaine's soft yet strong tenor, and instantly he wished so much for Blaine to show up and take his hand and dance the night away.

Instead there was this tall brandmark New Yorker lurking about who didn't miss a chance to grab Kurt's ass and say something sleazy. More than once Kurt had to shove Andrew off or punch his fist into Andrew's shoulder to make the guy stop.

"God, yes, make me your personal punching bag," had been Andrew's answer when Kurt had smacked his chest again, hard, to keep him at bay.

Slowly Kurt rose to his feet and left the stall with wobbly legs. He washed his mouth at the sink and ignored the constant chatter of Andrew who wouldn't leave him alone, not even when he was throwing up.

What a score! First night in a gay club and he ended wasted. At least this Andrew guy knew what he'd gotten into. Surely he wouldn't want to see Kurt again.

"Was it the _Kir Royale_ or did my presence sicken you?" Andrew asked, obviously amused.

Kurt looked up at Andrew who was leaning in the doorway.

"Neither," Kurt answered, wiping his mouth with a paper towel. "I just can't stand Katy Perry."

"Katy Perry? Really? Why don't you like her?" Andrew was intrigued. "Big round eyes, blue hair. What's there not to like?"

"My ex cherished her," Kurt blurted out.

"Ah." Andrew shuffled closer to take a good look at him. There was something in his eyes, something like understanding and sympathy that surprised Kurt.

"Screw her," Andrew finally said with a shrug. "Screw _him_."

For a second Kurt felt like crying. His throat tightened and he just wanted to hide somewhere and bawl his eyes out. It took all his willpower not to break down in front of Andrew.

"Here, take a mint or two," Andrew said, offering a box of peppermint candy. Kurt accepted them gratefully.

"Let me take you home," Andrew said. "I think you've had enough for one night."

"Thanks, but I can get a cab," Kurt said and made his way towards the exit.

"Cab drivers can't be trusted," Andrew said. "They'll overcharge you, babe. I'll drive you home. Resistance is futile." Andrew winked at him, and Kurt was just too tired and indifferent to argue.

It was only when they had already driven five minutes in Andrew's black BMW – it was a brand new car! Who was this guy? – that Kurt realized something. "Wait up! You can't drive!" he told Andrew. "You've been drinking, too."

"Only a few beers. Nobody gets drunk from a couple of beers."

"Are you sure? I know somebody," Kurt blurted out again, and scolded himself internally. _Stop thinking about Blaine all of the time!_

Andrew was talking and talking, but Kurt wasn't listening. He just couldn't wait to get home and into his bed and sleep.

"You can stop over there. I live here." Kurt pointed at the apartment building.

Andrew parked the car in front of the house and leaned over to Kurt. "I had a great night," Andrew said, tilting his head like he was expecting something.

"I think I'm going to regret the third cocktail tomorrow," Kurt said, still feeling dizzy.

"Life would be boring if you never did things you're going to regret later on," Andrew replied and Kurt nodded, contemplating. That actually made sense.

Then however, something happened that didn't make sense at all. Andrew kissed him. The man leaned over and pressed his mouth onto Kurt's.

Kurt was too stunned to react. He didn't kiss him back, but he didn't reject him, either. His head told him to shove Andrew off or to slap him, but his body was too tired to follow that command.

Apart from that first impulse to pull away and smack the guy Kurt didn't feel anything. What was wrong with him? There was this hot guy kissing him and he didn't care. Actually, he felt kind of numb. It was a kind of numbness that frightened him to tell the truth, but he was too numb to be freaked out. His brain was a blur. Was it from the alcohol? Or did Andrew drug him?

A creepy chill went down Kurt's spine. How could he be so stupid and take alcohol from a stranger? How could he get into a car with a guy he'd only met a couple of hours ago? Never trust a stranger, they say! Why was he trusting this guy to bring him home safely?

Kurt scolded himself for being such an idiot to get into a situation like this.

"Can I see you again?" Andrew asked when he finally retreated, leaving Kurt's lips used and tingling.

"Only in your dreams," Kurt replied and didn't know where those words came from. He didn't say them in a flirty tone, but kind of spat them out, disgusted by this guy's approach on him and by his own stupedity.

Andrew's face spread out into a grin. "You're a total bitch, Kurt. I like that."

"Thanks for getting me home," Kurt said and left the car. He was sure he'd never see Andrew again.

* * *

"Did you kiss?" Rachel was intrigued, of course.

"Well, yeah, he kissed me goodnight," Kurt replied with a shrug, and Rachel was squealing in joy, hugging him like he had won the Pulitzer. "I'm so happy for you, Kurt!"

Kurt had failed to mention that he didn't want to be kissed by Andrew. Or anyone. But because she was so happy for him (and he hadn't seen her happy for quite a while) Kurt played along, just to see the beam on her face. So what if he told her that he enjoyed being with Andrew, although it was no more than a lie? But was it a lie? He had had fun after all.

"What was it like when he kissed you?" Rachel wanted to know. "Is he a good kisser? Come on, I need details!"

"Don't be so nosy," Kurt replied with a laugh. "A gentleman never tells."

"When will you see him again?"

"I don't know," Kurt said evasively. He didn't want to disappoint her by saying never. Still, she wouldn't let him go to bed before he had told her _everything_. He left out the puking, of course, and made it sound like Andrew was a dream of a man, Prince Charming himself. It was just to entertain her.

"Oh, I bet you'll have sweet dreams tonight," Rachel predicted when they said goodnight and retreated to their own bedrooms.

But in his dreams that night Kurt could feel the gentle brush of Blaine's hands on his arms, Blaine's lips on his closed eyelids, Blaine's soothing whisper at his ear, always Blaine.

In the middle of the night Kurt awoke with a wrenching sob, sat up in bed and brushed a trembling hand through his hair. Another sob tried to escape, but Kurt pressed his lips together and tried to block out the bittersweet memories. Kurt buried his head into his knees as the reality of how much he missed Blaine set in.

His arms felt weak as he pushed himself away from the mattress, his legs shaking as he tried to stand. He quietly slipped out of bed before Rachel woke up and saw him crying. Locking himself up into the bathroom Kurt silently cried the kind of sobbing that made your chest hurt and stole your breath.

People say time heals all wounds. But sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes the pain gets worse and worse and impossible to heal up with more time passing by.

* * *

"This is Vogue . com. You're speaking to Kurt Hummel. How can I help you?"

"_How about coffee tonight?"_

Kurt was only irritated for a second, then he recognized the sleazy yet dazzling voice. "Andrew?"

"_You never gave me your number."_ Andrew sounded like he was pouting.

"That was intentional," Kurt replied, still baffled that Andrew was calling him at his workplace.

"_Ouch, that's harsh. Do you always put a spell on guys and then leave them dreaming of you?"_

Kurt chuckled. "You dreamed of me?"

"_Yes, I couldn't get your beautiful smile out of my head all weekend long."_

Kurt remained unimpressed. "How do you know I work here?"

"_You told me. Actually you told me _a lot _Friday night."_

"Like what?" Kurt couldn't remember at lot.

"_Let's meet for coffee and I'll tell you all the dirty little secrets you told me."_

"I don't think so."

"_You're aware that I'll be calling you every hour until you say yes, right?"_

Kurt let out an exasperated sigh, but he had to grin. "Is there a coffee shop you recommend?"

Hanging out with Andrew was fun, Kurt couldn't deny that, but he refused to think of those meetings as dates. He always paid for his own beverages and he always insisted on getting home by himself. Learn from your mistakes.

Andrew was an arrogant jerk. Not Kurt's type at all. But he was fun and rather harmless. Kurt didn't expect to fall in love with that guy, so what wrong could some harmless flirting do? If nothing else it would be a welcome distraction. Andrew was a bragger, but at least he was funny.

The first time Andrew hurt him was a turning point in Kurt's view of him.

Until then he had just seen him as a joker. But then Kurt realized that the man could be serious, he could be angry and demanding. It had been one of their first dates at the coffee shop that Kurt still refused to call a date. Andrew had grabbed Kurt's wrist hard, not knowing that it was the already bruised wrist, and sent a sting of pain through Kurt's arm.

"Don't play games with me," Andrew had warned him. "If I hate one thing it's a guy leading me on."

Kurt had silently shaken his head. No games. This was serious. Kurt didn't even remember what they had argued about anymore, but he remembered the way Andrew's fingers had closed around his arm, digging into his skin, and the threatening hiss of his voice, so unlike the way he'd spoken just seconds before.

He didn't know why he stuck with Andrew after this incident. He had had a fair warning. He had a good preview of what he was getting himself into. The worst part was that the demonstration of Andrew's anger was what finally attracted Kurt to him. Why hadn't Blaine been like that? Say out loud what bothered him? Set up some rules, some guidelines to a solid relationship?

The first time Andrew punched him turned Kurt's world upside down.

Although he saw the punch coming, he was unprepared for the forcefulness of the blow. Andrew was strong, really strong. Probably stronger than Karofsky. Never before had Kurt been hit like this. Not even Karofsky had ever outright punched him. He had shoved Kurt into lockers, hurtfully, yes, but never smashed his fist into any part of Kurt's body.

The first time after Andrew had punched him, Kurt sat on the floor in the bathroom, hugging his legs, shaking all over and listening to Andrew slamming cupboards in the kitchen. There were goose bumps on his arms and legs although he wasn't cold. He was fascinated by the pain radiating from the bruise, focussing all his senses on the hurt body part and numbing his brain.

Kurt found he liked the pain, the force behind it that pushed all his thinking out of his head and left only a numb sensation. He knew he could punch Andrew back without worrying he might hurt him. Of course he was aware that this kind of relationship was unhealthy and wrong, but he was at a point in his life that he didn't care.

However, he did care about his looks. He couldn't go home, because Rachel would see that something was wrong. So he texted her that he would stay the night at Andrew's and she texted back, "Have fun! Be safe!"

His skin care routine extended to take care of the several bruises covering his body, mostly on his arms and chest, but also on his thighs and back. He observed the way the bruises changed colors over the course of time, from bluish-purple over red-orange to ugly yellow. With the fading bruises also the pain numbed away, leaving an empty feeling inside of him.

Living with Rachel had become tricky. The only solution to keeping her oblivious was moving in with Andrew. He hated leaving her, but more so he hated the idea of her finding out.

* * *

Trust was the weirdest thing.

Kurt trusted Andrew not to hit him in the face.

He trusted him not to leave visible bruises or hurt him so badly that he needed to see a doctor or even a hospital.

Kurt trusted him to respect his sexual boundaries.

He trusted him not to ask questions he didn't want to give answers to.

Not to cause him more pain than he was asking for.

Not to call him names he wasn't internally calling himself.

Not to lash out without a given reason.

As long as Andrew kept these boundaries Kurt was fine. He didn't allow himself to think about how wrong this kind of relationship really was.

Whenever Andrew kissed him Kurt tried to enjoy it. He really tried. But it was awful. It was nothing like kissing Blaine. He knew he shouldn't compare. He should give Andrew a chance. But he wasn't with Andrew for his kisses or his tenderness. He wasn't in love with him; he didn't want to be kissed and touched by him. There were no feelings involved apart from the need to be shoved around.

"I'm not much of a kisser," Kurt apologized, always looking for excuses not to kiss him.

"Don't tell me you're still a virgin!" Andrew laughed.

Kurt shrugged. "All right, I won't tell you I'm still a virgin."

* * *

Each day when he stepped through the entrance of Vogue . com, Kurt felt like he was entering his personal sanctuary. This was where he could be himself without being questioned or criticized. Without someone questioning all his actions, interfering with his life and his choices.

That was until his thing with Andrew started to get out of hand. Without realizing it, he had started lying to his co-workers. To Isabelle.

One particular night Andrew had shoved him against the dresser and Kurt's hipbone hurt so badly that he limped the next day at work. One of his co-workers commented on it, asking why he was in pain, but before Kurt could answer his other co-worker winked and said, "Don't you know that Kurt just moved in with his lover?" Kurt just smiled mysteriously at that.

"I bet they're doing it all night long," Kurt heard his co-workers whisper to one another. "Have you seen his boyfriend? He's hot!"

Kurt didn't mind the gossip. Let them all think he was limping because he had had a wild night with his lover.

It was easier not wanting anything, not expecting anything. Just drifting through the day, numb and indifferent.

That was until he got the first text message from Chandler Kiehl.

_Hello Kurt, just wondering if you've made it to New York. I'd love to meet you to catch up. Let me know if you're up for a chat._

Reading these few lines made Kurt realize how much he missed having a friend. A friend who was easy to hang around with, who wouldn't ask too many questions and just wanted to share some happy times. He couldn't have that with Rachel because Rachel would see through his charade in a minute. But Chandler hadn't seen him for a while. He wouldn't know that Kurt was just putting up a happy face.

"Who's Chandler?"

Kurt looked up from flicking through the latest _Vogue_, baffled by the question. Then he noticed that Andrew was holding his phone. For a puzzling moment he had vivid déjà vu.

"Why are you going through my phone?" Kurt asked with a frown, slowly sitting up from his horizontal position on the couch.

"Because I hate cheaters," Andrew stated matter-of-factly, tossing the phone at Kurt who caught it with one hand.

"Don't be paranoid," Kurt said with a huff. "Chandler is just a friend back from Lima, and I'm going to see him for coffee."

"I don't care who he is," Andrew said, his voice taking on a dangerous edge. "You're not going to meet other guys."

"You're being unreasonable," Kurt replied, all unimpressed by Andrew's command. "Chandler is just a friend. I haven't seen him in ages and we're just going to catch up."

"Then tell him to come to _Babylon_ where I can keep an eye on you," Andrew suggested.

"He won't get into _Babylon_, because he's not 21 yet," Kurt replied, not even hiding his annoyance. "Besides, I don't think that's his kind of scene."

"I can get him an ID," Andrew offered with a shrug. "You can meet him at _Babylon_ with me around or not at all."

"I didn't sign up for this jealousy shit, Drew," Kurt grumbled. "I won't have you tell me what to do."

"You can move out if you don't like my rules." Andrew shrugged again as if he didn't give a damn and continued labeling his burned CD collection at the dining table.

Kurt was silent for a while. He didn't want to move out. But he didn't want to give in either.

"My living at your place doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do and whom to meet!" Kurt said grudgingly. "The end."

In three strides Andrew was across the room, grabbing Kurt by the neck and arm and pulling him off the couch with an unexpected force that completely threw Kurt off course. Without saying a word Andrew dragged him across the carpet, not giving Kurt a chance to keep on his feet.

When Kurt tried to push himself away from Andrew, the man hurled him against the shoe cabinet. Kurt felt like all breath left his lungs when his back collided with the furniture. A sharp pain shot through his shoulder and he winced badly, but not a sound left his lips as the breath was still caught in his throat.

In mean silence Andrew opened the apartment door wide and bent down to grasp Kurt by the collar of his shirt, pulling him across the floor like a sack of potatoes out into the hallway and slamming the door shut behind him.

Disoriented, dizzy, and in absolute shock about what had just happened, Kurt stayed crouched on the floor. After a minute or two he was able to breathe again and hunched over in pain, one hand pressed to his aching shoulder, the other arm wrapped around his middle.

He didn't know how much time had passed, it seemed like hours but probably was just a couple of minutes, when he finally scrambled to his feet. No matter what, he didn't want a neighbor to stumble over him and ask questions.

His shoulder hurt badly, but he ignored the aching and leaned against the door frame, knocking insistently. "Drew! Let me in! Drew, open up!" He had to call out several times, and for the sake of the neighbors he added, "I locked myself out!"

When Andrew opened the door after a torturously long period of time, he wore a smug grin, motioning for Kurt to come in.

"Back so soon? I thought you wanted to run to your nosy little girlfriend, telling her what a pain in the ass I am," Andrew remarked with a smirk. "Sadly not literally."

Kurt passed him with a grace that concealed the fact that he was in utter pain.

"You think you can impress me by playing the big bad wolf?" Kurt said soberly. "This doesn't even hurt."

Andrew moved quickly and captured Kurt's left wrist. "But this hurts, right?" he asked while he kept a tight hold on Kurt's wrist.

Kurt winced badly and it wasn't from the sudden pain in his arm, although he still felt a jolt of shock at Andrew's sudden grip on his arm.

It was the spark of malicious pleasure in Andrew's eyes that had Kurt on instant alarm. This had become a dangerous game they were playing. Especially since Andrew had discovered Kurt's little self-harm secret concerning his wrist.

Without letting his guard down Kurt yanked his arm out of the man's grip, keeping his face straight and his chin up high while his eyes stung with unshed tears. For the longest heartbeat they were staring each other down.

Then Andrew gave a snort and turned towards the TV. "Saturday Night Live is on in a few."

Kurt watched the man slump down on the couch, tossing the copy of _Vogue_ on the coffee table and grabbing the remote.

Without a word Kurt picked up his phone from where it had fallen on the ground next to the couch and went into the bathroom, turned the lock and collapsed on the tiles. He pulled his arms tight against his chest and rested his head against the door for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

After a few minutes, his hands stopped shaking enough for him to be able to tap out a text message to Chandler.

_Feeling adventurous? Meet me at Babylon next Friday night. I can get you an ID._

Kurt was sure Chandler wouldn't come to _Babylon _just so to see him. But he hoped so. His heart made a little happy jump when he read the text Chandler sent him instantly.

_I'll be there! :)_

* * *

**A/N: **

**Please never get in a car when the driver is drunk, even if he/she just had 'a couple of beers'. **

**Please never take drinks from a stranger and never leave your glass unattended.**

**Please never take a stranger or someone you've just met home or let him/her see where you're living.**

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please write a review if you like. :)**

**Laissez-moi un commentaire****, s'il vous plaît! :)**

**Ich freu mich über jeden Kommentar! :)**


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